She doesn't just sit around, it's more that she feels overwhelmed doing the things she has taken on. She's practically on her knees at the end of each Friday when she has the kid.
This is key, I think. Lots of focus on a numerical split of tasks between you both but the point here is that she's really struggling. You also mention a recent miscarriage, which of course will have affected you as well.
It's not unusual for one half of a couple to step up and take on more responsibility when the other isn't able to. This is what partnership is.
It's all very well saying that yes, looking at the list you've given, the split of domestic labour does seem unfair, but I suspect simply telling her to do more isn't the answer. You need a broader and mutually kind discussion.
Have you come across mental load?
Take a look at: https://english.emmaclit.com/2017/05/20/you-shouldve-asked/
For all those about to jump on me, note I've not suggested that you're complaining about having to pull your weight and I'm not about to either, but it's worth you exploring with your wife how much unseen labour she does. There are enough details in your post to suggest that there's more going on here.
This is especially true if she cares for, or has additional responsibilities and worries for, other family members such as a parent.
It would also benefit both of you for you to understand why she needs to do what you see as "unnecessary" errands. Like new shoes for your daughter - is your wife planning ahead here? Is she anxious about something?
For all those about to jump on me, note I've not suggested that you're complaining about having to pull your weight and I'm not about to either, but it's worth you exploring with your wife how much unseen labour she does. There are enough details in your post to suggest that there's more going on here.
Don't write off the possibility that your wife may also be neuordivergent - birds of a feather flock together and people who are neurodivergent often end up in friendships and relationships with other neurodivergent people. Neurodivergency on her part may mean she's overwhelmed from masking or suffering burnout. All forms of neurodivergency can make one more sensitive to sensory input and effect cognitive processing.
If I'm covering all possibilities in this post, then I should also ask - as someone else has done - was the domestic load unfairly split in your favour before you started taking on more and more? Not because of tit for tat, but because the history of your relationship could provide important context.
Finally, I will return to her mental health (and yours). In your own words she's "on her knees by the end of the week" and struggles to cope with what she does - this doesn't sound like someone who can easily take on more domestic labour right now.
She doesnt need to be neurodivergent to struggle with day to day tasks if her mental health is poor. Or her physical health!
If she's feeling emotionally isolated and unsupported, then that could be a driver behind her need for you to take on as much as you do.
I also think that seeing her decision to not work on Fridays may be unfair, it might not be a 'lifestyle choice' as you put it but because she (a) believes it's best for your daughter (b) is trying to stay afloat with her mental health and working an extra day will make this worse
None of this is to say that it's fair or right you doing so much.
You've both lost a baby and I'm really very sorry. How are you?
Those saying it doesn't like the right time to bring another baby into your life have a point, but she's a grieving mum and most women here will recognise the primal drive for children that some women experience on some level.
How has your wife been since the miscarriage? Did anything change after this?
What is your daughter like to parent? How easy does your wife find your daughter to parent? Who does your daughter gravitate most to? Not just for play, but when she's upset or frustrated.
It would be very easy to come here and reply that she's taking you for a ride or why shouldn't you do as much as you do given that women usually juggle all that and more, but I really do think there's more to unpick here.
I think there are unmet needs that, unless understood, could reallt end up damaging your relationship and love for each other.
Mutual love and understanding seems to be what's needed and some non-judgemental discussions to understand the struggles you're both experiencing, so that you can find a way to support each other better emotionally and practically.