to tell this nosey mother to shove off?

[theBOD]

long sorry but need an opinion.
i was meant to be playing football with mates and my lectures finished about an hour early. now seeing as i lived about an hours drive from where we were playing it made no sense for me to go home so i decided i'd just drive to the park where we play and do some work(play solitare) on my laptop for the hour and listen to the radio.
so i parked on the road beside the pitches, which also happens to be opposite a playground. after about half an hour some woman came over to me and knocked on my window asking me "what do you think you're doing" and telling me to move as it was "not right" and i was making the parents "nervous".
apparently i should not be parked and on a laptop near children as a man on his own as this obviously in her mind made me some sort of sex predator.
so i told her that what i was doing was none of her business and told her to get away from my car. she then threatened to call the police (she didn't) and get her husband out (which she did).
anyway was i unreasonable to use some very choice words to her and her husband when they came over to me the second time claiming they didn't want trouble and just thought it was best if i left?

"Did you say it was none of her business, or did you say that it was none of her business and you were deeply offended at her assumption that you were a child molester just because you were sitting near a park?"

the conversation pretty much went like this (i've taken out any umms,erms,ahs or likes as it would be repetitive)

her: what do you think you're doing?

me:excuse me?what do you mean what am i doing?

her: sitting parked in front of a playground on your own.it's not right you're making the parents very nervous.
(i don't think any other parent batted an eyelid to be honest)

me: i'm sitting in my car it's absolutely none of your business what i'm doing.

her: if you don't move i'm getting my husband and calling the police

melaughing) fine go get them, see if i care.

then she went and got her husband.

(nonce always reminds me of the scene in Phoenix Nights (with Peter Kay) when they have a 'mind reader' act on stage. He puts his hand on the head of a brick shit house of a bloke and says...hmmmmm, I am thinking...nonce. Cuts to a scene of him with a black eye and busted nose. Makes me howl)

as you were

sorry didn't mean that sad face.
meant to read

me : (laughing)....

Cory, I think the Home Office offered changing methods of recording only as a possible partial explanation of the increase.

The point I was trying to make was not that child abduction is something that happens all the time but that people on both sides of the degate get swept away by hysteria or refuting the claims of the hysterics and few pause to see what is actually happening.

The woman here clearly went way too far and the op is warranted in complaining about her but at the same time, there is a genuine (if small) issue here which he could perhaps have addressed.

TheBod - in light of your detailed description of the actual conversation, I would like to rescind all my former comments about your unreasonability. She's a nutter.

This terror of strangers is ridiculous when you take into account that the majority of children are abused by relatives and friends trusted by the family.

But to play devils advocate for a moment - this terror of stranger danger that so many people have is exacerbated by the media and frankly the police as well (there's a lot of leaking that goes on)

Also it is disquieting to know that most paedophiles are considered 'incurable' and many are housed, post release, in all our communities. Of course, this is simply how it is but it does not breed confidence in the populace.

Also I have to say - if I lived in Blackpool - I would be nervous of any man near a park or anywhere else near children! See here for shocking article about how Blackpool is a 'honey pot' for sex offenders. Apparently there are approximately 800 convicted high-risk sex offenders living there according to this article.

So YANBU, but, people are frightened and don't know what to do with their fear except express it irrationally.

"Your op asked if you were unreasonable to use choice words to this woman and husband. I said yes.

Please don't put words in my mouth. Tis very rude"

sorry you're right i apologise.
that was a cheap shot and out of line

theBOD, she seems odd. I would have acted exactly the same.

Except I'm a girl and so wouldn't have happened to me no doubt.

Bod, I don't think any such thing, stop making things up (although I guess you do have the right to do anything you want).

My opinion is, YABU to swear and YABU to not try to understand her point of view. Now you're just looking to twist things.

I do actually think you're being rather irrational.

And about not seeing other people's points of view I don't mean mine, I don't expect you to see mine I mean the woman's point of view.

Aubergine - please do not equate your point of view as being a womens point of view.

I find this offensive.

Ah, I see. So not exactly a long exchange (in which to make the point I suggested) before she stormed off to get her husband then...

Yes according to that conversation she approached it wrongly, I would have said -- Look I'm sorry but..

But what about the bit where you told her to get away from your car? Did you leave anything else out?

why thank you Mr Bod

I mean the woman in the op DSM

sorry to offend you

To be fair on StuffedAubergine - she didn't say "a woman's" she said "the woman's" point of view. I had to re-read that bit as I was about to get irritated for the same reason as DSM.

"But what about the bit where you told her to get away from your car? Did you leave anything else out?"

no that conversation was pretty much verbatim although you are right i did forget to type that i said "don't touch my car again"
at the end of this sentence "i'm sitting in my car it's absolutely none of your business what i'm doing."

sorry if that changes the context of the conversation, was an honest mistake of ommission, was not trying to mislead people.

how nice pb i withdraw my but don't worry i know you're on the other side of this

i think the dust is settling anyway

the woman is clearly a paranoid nutter.

If she was genuinely concerned she should have called the police, but she obviously wanted a fight, and sadly she got one.

I am still curious as to what those who think that op was BU think that someone sitting in a car could be doing to children. He wasn't photographing them, he wasnt flashing at them, so what, exactly, do people think he might have been doing?

I don't think you were BU. Not at all.

I don't know if the being female thing necessarily makes a difference.

I dropped my DS off at his new nursery for his first hour long session a couple of days ago and had then to

sit in the school playground until it was time to collect him (I couldn't get out without walking past the bit

he was in and he would have seen me going).

A couple of the teachers told the head who, fortunately, remembered who I was. It was a bit

uncomfortable, tbh, because of the way they were looking at me slightly .

stuffedaubergine. I might disagree with you - but I respect your right to an opinion

I think you ARE being unreasonable AND immature.

IMO you would have looked odd in a car next to a playground, whether your intentions were innocent or not.

I also think good on the woman who came & questioned you & you could have been gracious & explained what you where doing.

Assume you're a father, so put yourself in her position & get over it.

A man in a car next to a playground looks odd? Why?
What about the men who are there waiting to pick kids up?

FFS.

Perhaps he just looks odd anyway. Do you have two heads theBOD?