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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I’m not going to have a present (or at least not a thoughtful one!) am I right to be annoyed?

122 replies

Sillyquestion123 · 08/12/2025 19:03

Basically my DH delayed buying my present (although I didn’t think it would sell out) and now there’s nothing else to get me!

I get beauty freebies from work and there’s nothing else I need not want.

so I’m stuck ;(

OP posts:
Original poster
Sillyquestion123 · 08/12/2025 19:33

Shamesame · 08/12/2025 19:29

Definitely contact the label or management and see if there’s anything they can do. Or if they’re very niche with a smaller fan following send them an instagram message directly.

intrigued to know who they are now!

Last year my DH tried to slide into their DMs as it was my 40th birthday dream to have a private concert, even a video would have been enough! They ignored him! However they were not touring and their last release was like 3-4 years old. They released their new album a couple of months ago so the chances of them replying are higher, plus they liked my story when I shared I was their #12 global fan

OP posts:
martinisforeveryone · 08/12/2025 19:33

@Sillyquestion123 don't get me wrong, this post isn't meant to point the finger at you, but it kind of feels like you're missing the whole point of Christmas.

I get that you're disappointed that you won't be getting the sold out special thing you wanted as a gift, I do, but why don't you embrace the spirit of Christmas. The best gifts we ever gave each other were when we didn't express any wishes, but put a quite low monetary value on the budget and that meant we both had to be creative. That could be a fiver, ten, twenty quid, whatever.

Why don't you both do that this year?

Hedgehogbrown · 08/12/2025 19:43

You are a grown woman you do not need any presents. These gifts sound very high maintenance and exhausting. Most of us would be happy with a box of chocolates or a nice scarf. Get a grip.

HeddaGarbled · 08/12/2025 19:56

Moncler jacket

Ah, so when you said “thoughtful” present, what you meant was “expensive” present 😃

Pineapplewaves · 08/12/2025 20:21

You should have bought the item yourself, as soon as you saw it - your DH could have bought it off you later. This is what I do because DP takes forever to get round to anything and by then the special price or offer is gone or the item sold out.

Mandylovescandy · 08/12/2025 20:27

I have similar in that the thing I want is sold out and honestly I don't really want anything else (we have small DC and house is full of their clutter and I have zero interest in more stuff) but I am not annoyed at my DP about it though with mine there is a chance it will come back in stock. What about an experience? There must be something you'd like to do like massage or theatre tickets or gig tickets etc?

Original poster
Sillyquestion123 · 08/12/2025 20:30

Mandylovescandy · 08/12/2025 20:27

I have similar in that the thing I want is sold out and honestly I don't really want anything else (we have small DC and house is full of their clutter and I have zero interest in more stuff) but I am not annoyed at my DP about it though with mine there is a chance it will come back in stock. What about an experience? There must be something you'd like to do like massage or theatre tickets or gig tickets etc?

We just do all of those things as they come up (apart from maybe the spa) but spas are always semi problematic because my DH always wants to tag along and we have a 6yo that would have to tag along

OP posts:
BernardButlersBra · 08/12/2025 20:35

Not sure why you need to sort it out and make it right. That's his job!

SeaAndStars · 08/12/2025 20:45

Why don't you just stop doing presents? The whole concept of them isn't making you happy and you don't need anything. Just enjoy the day, spend time together and relax.

lazyarse123 · 08/12/2025 20:52

I have a couple of gifts and dh wanted to get me something else so I chose a garden ornament I'd seen in summer but naturally garden stuff has all been put away so I'm getting it when they come back in.
Can you find out if it will be reissued?

Tootles1 · 08/12/2025 21:51

Tootles1 · 08/12/2025 19:24

If you’ve got everything you could/want then you don’t need a present. Perhaps rstgrr buying for the sake of it, use the money to have a weekend away.

Show quote history

Should say stop buying….

Original poster
Sillyquestion123 · 09/12/2025 07:24

lazyarse123 · 08/12/2025 20:52

I have a couple of gifts and dh wanted to get me something else so I chose a garden ornament I'd seen in summer but naturally garden stuff has all been put away so I'm getting it when they come back in.
Can you find out if it will be reissued?

They normally don’t re-issue them , at least the last album they didn’t (I missed out) so I’m not very hopeful. And if they did it could take years

OP posts:
saveforthat · 09/12/2025 07:31

Jesus, just get him to get you a surprise. That's what most Xmas gifts are. I agree with pp that if you tell him what you want it's not thoughtful and you may as well buy it yourself. Let him do some actual thought and come up with something that you may not need but would be delighted with.

singmoon · 09/12/2025 07:32

I'm also in the lucky position of not needing or wanting anything, but it never occurred to me to be angry at my DH about this.

BeaRightThere · 09/12/2025 07:33

nomas · 08/12/2025 19:10

Have two presents wrapped., one good, one shit.

If he gives you a shit present, give him a shit present.

If he gives you a good present, give him a good present.

Don't mix them up.

What sort of horrible way to exist is this??? And did you even read the OP's post? She herself did not realise the present she wanted would sell out. It isn't like her husband did this deliberately.

snoopythebeagle · 09/12/2025 07:36

I’m pretty sure you can think of something you might like for Christmas that isn’t an expensive necklace or jacket 🙄

Isadora2007 · 09/12/2025 07:41

It sounds like you get yourself what you want when you want it and do as you please for yourself all year. So you don’t actually need anything which is fine but just say no presents this year and recognise you have a blessed and fortunate life. And I don’t think you really needed that LP anyway. A 40 year old flexing about being #12 fan is really quite sad and pathetic.

Original poster
Sillyquestion123 · 09/12/2025 07:45

Isadora2007 · 09/12/2025 07:41

It sounds like you get yourself what you want when you want it and do as you please for yourself all year. So you don’t actually need anything which is fine but just say no presents this year and recognise you have a blessed and fortunate life. And I don’t think you really needed that LP anyway. A 40 year old flexing about being #12 fan is really quite sad and pathetic.

Ok….. I used to be a music journalist and my DH was in a proper band (Snow Patrol once opened for them!) so as much as I kind of see where you’re coming from it’s also quite rude

OP posts:
Original poster
Sillyquestion123 · 09/12/2025 07:47

snoopythebeagle · 09/12/2025 07:36

I’m pretty sure you can think of something you might like for Christmas that isn’t an expensive necklace or jacket 🙄

we get what we want/need as we go. Apart from bigger “buys” which are slightly more planned.

but no, I only have two sides super frugal or not, which is hard as I don’t like things “in between”

OP posts:
snoopythebeagle · 09/12/2025 07:50

Sillyquestion123 · 09/12/2025 07:47

we get what we want/need as we go. Apart from bigger “buys” which are slightly more planned.

but no, I only have two sides super frugal or not, which is hard as I don’t like things “in between”

Show quote history

Then you have no right to be annoyed with your DH over something that’s entirely of your own making.

Original poster
Sillyquestion123 · 09/12/2025 07:53

snoopythebeagle · 09/12/2025 07:50

Then you have no right to be annoyed with your DH over something that’s entirely of your own making.

Show quote history

He’s exactly the same. He ended up telling me “shoes didn’t count” so instead ended up getting him a guitar pedal because that’s the only think he wanted (apparently)

OP posts:
ohthiscouldgetmessy · 09/12/2025 08:11

Have you checked on Vinted? Which album was it?

Fupoffyagrasshole · 09/12/2025 08:14

You want nothing? No tickets for a gig or festival or event of some sort?

weekend away?

Drowningincokezero · 09/12/2025 08:15

He could get you a weekend away and it's on him to organise the childcare. Maybe go off and see a band too?

PurpleThistle7 · 09/12/2025 08:19

Not being preachy but I think if you genuinely need or want nothing there are literally millions of people who need and want lots of things. I volunteer at my local food bank and we are totally out of nappies. So just a thought that instead of more stuff you don’t want, why don’t you and your husband do something super fun together (rent a hot tub? Go for fancy cocktails?) and then go shopping for mission Christmas or the local primary school library or the food bank or donate gig tickets to a community centre for a teen who has never been to a concert. There are so many ways to spread some joy around if you are this lucky - and there’s nothing wrong with being lucky and picky! You don’t need more crap just for the sake of it, the planet will thank you.