To be absolutely devastated ex moved on so quick

[Youngblud]

my 25 year relationship ended about 6 months ago. It got to a point where he was just taking the piss and doing what he liked whilst I looked after the children. 3 weeks after he moved out I found out he had been seeing a friend of his and they were just seeing how it goes, it has honestly made me feel so worthless even though I knew the relationship had to end as I was just a single mum even though I had a partner. She has met the kids and spent loads of time with them doing fun activities and I barely make it through the month so I feel bad I can’t do these things with them.

This is typical OP and please allow yourself to feel these emotions.
You have every right to be upset and angry.
Moment by moment, it will get better and please take care of yourself OP

Because they don’t just wake up one day and decide they don’t want you. It quite likely has been a slow disengagement over time, maybe years. You say it hasn’t been good for a while, and he may have been feeling differently from well before it played out in his actions (or lack of).
I met my DH nine months after he separated from a 20 year marriage. I did ask him, as we were getting serious quite quickly, if he really was emotionally ready for a committed relationship. He explained it to me as above, though in his case it was mutual, with his wife telling him she didn’t feel connected and wanted him to move out. He said it was about four years of the marriage slowly dissolving. She didn’t expect him to move on so quickly either - though obviously not as quick as your ex. But he said it shouldn’t be a reflection on the many good years they shared; he did love her, but not any more.

I get that, fair enough you don’t love somebody anymore but surely it isn’t healthy to jump from such a long relationship to another one without spending some time alone? I didn’t love him anymore either but I was still hurt by it, the way he was in the relationship has really put me off men for a very long time, he was selfish, greedy and lazy.

A lot of people just want to be in a relationship. There's always research saying how being married (yes, I know they're not at this time) makes people happier and healthier, and scientists often say we're meant to pair bond. There's always some people who prefer to be alone, and as a society we used to be ok with that, but there seems to be more criticism now, of people not being together, or that it's weird which I think is really unfair. I don't like the fact that lots of posts on a similar topic suggested a woman gets abandoned/left out if she's single.
I don't like the fact that too many seem to take the lyrics "I could have another you in a minute" too literally.
It actually annoyed me as a 20 year old when a man said he wanted to marry me, I said no as I didn't feel it was right, and he was engaged to another woman within a few months! Couldn't say much, as you could say it was my fault for not doing what was needed to keep it going. I feel really sorry for you having to deal with this after decades together OP, and understand your worry with your kids.

They are desperate. Needy. Can’t cope alone. Don’t want to cope alone.

He has just parachuted someone else in so he cam play Disney dad

Well, this woman was already a "friend" of his. So it's a bit of a coincidence if he's suddenly realised she's the love of his life.

Why's that relevant?

Yes I agree your ex did jump very fast - as I said my DH had nine months on his own getting his head and heart straight. But don’t take it as a reflection of that he didn’t love you during the years you shared.

I wouldn’t say 9 months is too soon. He at least took some time to himself. 2 weeks is just Ludacris

She’s met the kids? I hope only as a ‘friend’! Well, he’s a dickhead isn’t he! Probably scared on being on his own!

My xh met someone else a few weeks after I left him and it did make me laugh, then I felt a bit like an interchangeable spare part. But can’t control it.
Tbh an ex that gets on with it and a partner that the kids can at least like are overall good things. Let them spend a fortune on shiny activities, enjoy your own routines.

I know a man whose wife of 30yrs died of cancer. Within the month he was public with a new girlfriend. Its disgusting. I really think alot of men (and probably some women) are happy to stay with someone they dont really love out of convenience and fear of being alone. Thats why they can move on so quick. Anyone is better than being alone.

It was his kids I felt sorry for. They didnt get a chance to grieve their mother before the new girlfriend was on the scene.

Purely for convenience, nothing more.

It’s difficult to remember that fun stuff is free- playing chasing or hide and seek, walks, baking, board games, movie nights - that’s the proper fun stuff-being there is the important thing, not the gimmicks- the rest is window dressing x

Yes that’s it. At least out of respect for the kids if nothing else!

That's lovely for your brother but a 3 week gap isn't much time at all to process things etc. I would have been wondering whether it was a rebound relationship!
Glad it's worked out well.

I think if he didn’t introduce the kids so early it wouldn’t have been so bad. My daughter said last night that he cares about his new partner more than he cares about her as the little time he sees her she has to spend time with the new woman. I told her I highly doubt that is the case, it’s so hard when you know she is probably right.

Such a stupid mistake on his part & one he will probably live to regret.
Time with his kids should be time with his kids, not time with Dad and his new squeeze - who may or may not stick around.

But he's a fool because our kids always see us.

He sees them every other weekend that is it, surely he can go a few days without her: it’s tragic tbh

Ive been feeling same my relationship ended due to his crap behaviour and he spent a while promising he’d sort himself out. He’s now found a new girlfriend who loves doing the hobby i asked him not to do as it meant he barely spent anytime with our daughter and now hasn’t seen our child in months and hasn’t paid a penny. No birthday message or present either. It hurts like mad and i try and block it from my mind but makes me feel worthless and abandoned.

I struggle with one income and don’t qualify for much in way of benefit support. I put a little away each month towards christmas and birthdays. My daughter just turned 5yrs and her favourite activity at moment is to walk round streets after her evening meal and look at christmas decorations/lights and then we come home for a hot chocolate. We also bake and do cheap crafts from the likes of home bargains.