If she makes even one wrong move, you know where to find me. AIBU?

[hinchleye]

I attended my dp's work christmas party. He has a colleague who he's worked with for a few years and has admitted that he finds her attractive. To be fair to him, this only came up during banter/ a game with friends. She is single and very attractive. Clearly has the hots for DP.

When at the Christmas party, people got very drunk. I don't drink. DP's work colleague didn't realise I could hear what she was saying, but she told DP that "if she makes even one wrong move, you know where to find me".

I asked DP what this meant. He said that they were joking that on paper and in another universe they would have been married. AIBU to think WTF?

Im not a "fighter" but im northern and I would have smacked the shit out of her if I heard that op and he shouldn't have entertained it.

Are you married OP?

So you were all at the party, together and they were saying in another universe they'd be married and she said that to your DP and you were presumably sat close enough to hear it?

Absolute fucking arseholes the pair of them.

Really drunk or intentionally staking a claim because she feels that confident he won't react badly to it and because she knows it will cause an issue in ops marriage which works in her favour irregardless. It's not the first time they've had this conversation clearly given his explanation. This woman is no dozer.

After more thought, I like the idea of a post-nup that was suggested. I would have two docs drawn up: a post-nup and a separation agreement/divorce doc. I'd put both in front of him and ask which one he wants to sign.

@gert nailed it.

Not at all, more likely she was being territorial and wanted the OP to hear.

Not her real estate, though, is it?
I def agree OW was making her intention clear. A challenge, if you will.

But let’s be real, he’s no prince and not worth fighting for given what he’s entertaining.

Oh, agreed!
I can't decide what he is:
Narcissist?
Wimp?
Did he enjoy flirtation and is now trying to back track on something gone too far?
Is he looking to end it with OP but wants her to do it after seeing OW at the party?
Does he enjoy women fighting over him?

Endless possibilities.
But, again, not a prince.

Urgh.

Please tell me you have binned this bell end.

I hear you! 🙌

This.

lol what’s being northern got to do with it?!

What would be the “one wrong move” that would trigger him to leave you? I bet he loves having that safety net in place and he can fabricate any reason he likes to justify leaving you if and when he wants to. It sounds really threatening to me and the fact that he’s sheepishly encouraging it and enjoying it is such an insult to you OP. If he values you at all, he needs to cut this crap immediately or get out. It would be better for you to end your relationship with him now rather than let it limp on with this hanging over your head and chipping at your sanity on a daily basis. The trust is gone, as whatever it is they confided and share to get thus far is something you’re not privy to. They’re a club that you’re not invited to. Get rid. You’ll be grateful in the long run.

Agree. There is no grey area when an affair is imminent and their level of disrespectful for OP is staggering.

Go and find someone who deserves you, OP, because he clearly doesn't.