To wonder why DH made such a fuss

[ChristmasShift]

DS, 12, has had flu for over a week. He’s been very ill, up most nights and absolutely no routine. It’s wiped him out, he didn’t eat anything for days. He’s turned a corner and improving but still exhausted.

I was up early this morning, enjoying the quiet. DH has had food poisoning so been in the spare room. He appeared at 10.15 asking why I hadn’t woken DS up, I said he probably needs the sleep, generally he’s not one for laying in or sleeping loads. DH went back up and kept coming back down every 15 minutes to say I should really wake DS up. It got to 11 and I was fed up of his constant jibbing so I went and woke DS up. This is the odd thing though. DH came and ate something and has now gone back to bed to apparently rest! Fine but I don’t get why he was so absolutely adamant that DS needed waking up.

Ive said why did you keep on that DS should be woken up and he’s gone into a strop about how he has to work tomorrow so needs rest. Makes no sense to why DS couldn’t sleep in.

Why did you go and wake the poor kid up? You knew he needed to rest and there was no need for him to be up and busy but still got him up anyway?

I would have told your husband to wake him himself if he felt it was so blooming important.

I’m not sure why you are treating your DH like your boss?

Your H thought your son should get up, you didn’t, why didn’t you just say “he’s been ill, he needs his sleep, I’m not waking him up.”

Job done.

Just because a man thinks something is right, doesn’t mean it is 🤷‍♀️ You are allowed to tell your husband he is wrong.

H sounds VERY controlling

I wouldn’t have woken my poorly child on the say so of my husband. Is he always like this?

The DH sounds abusive.

Go and make him get up.

Why did you wake him up?

If my DH tried to make me wake up my poorly DS he'd swiftly be told to go fuck himself. Poor kid

Your behavior doesn't make sense, why did you wake the poor lad up?

What is it about DS resting upstairs that meant your husband couldn't also do the same?

I would have told him to stop being ridiculous.

So I take it this is out of character for your DH? If it really is out of character then do you think he might have been a bit delirious? Or is there anything playing on his mind about your DS?

He kept on with an undertone that I couldn’t be bothered to have DS up and about, hence why I relented and woke DS up for H only to go back to bed himself

This doesn't really answer the question of why you didn't just say "I won't go and wake him cos he's been ill and needs to rest. Leave him be".

What? That makes no sense.

You need to care a lot more about what is the right thing to do, much less about your perception of other people’s opinions of you (both weird).

That makes very little sense. It's not like he's a boisterous toddler who needs supervision when awake? Surely at 12 he will be spending some time away for you both at weekends anyway?

So it was nothing to do with what was best for the sick child; it was that your DH was so bloody miffed that you were getting sone time to yourself ( AKA being a lazy cow and/or a Bad Mother) that he rose from his sick bed time after time to rattle your cage.

I had one like that.

I have a hunch. Look up NPD and try to find one of those " is yourvpartner a narcissist" online quizzes and see how many boxes he ticks for lack of empathy/ all-about-me-ness. I may be wrong, but I wish I'd done that a decade earlier than I did.

You know this makes no sense whatsoever. Your child is unwell and needs sleep to recover. Your DH was being ridiculous yet you put his wishes above your son's well-being!

He’s now said he said that because he doesn’t want DS to be up late tonight. He’s not going back to school tomorrow but DH is apparently working. He’s said DS can rest tomorrow when he’s at work.

Is he typically this controlling about how much rest he feels family members are entitled to

he sounds utterly tiresome

I hope you had the vacuum out and sang Freddie style while your not d h was resting.
He is imo a fuckwit..

Why does your H feel the need to schedule everyone else’s sleep? Why is sleeping during the day ok for your son on a Monday but not on a Sunday? This makes no sense. It’s clearly not about what’s best for your son.

He's been ill! He will sleep when he needs to sleep. I can't believe you woke the poor kid up to shut up the whiny manchild.

Waking DS up was easier to deal with than him keeping on at me. When I did ask why the fuss he did his usual and turned into a sulking insulting git.

Still recovering from flu, it's unlikely he'll be up late tonight anyway and what difference would it make to DH working tomorrow?! DS isn't going to be running around the house at 1am keeping everyone awake.

DH is being an arse, send DS back to bed and apologise for waking him.