To think saying you look good for your age isn’t a compliment?

[Coloursyrue]

Met up with an old friend and got told I looked incredible - for my age.

Dob’t go looking for something to complain about. Someone saying you look ‘incredible’ at any age is quite the compliment. Some people age terribly, some have good genes and look after themselves a bit more than others.

Coming from someone you know of a similar age, isn't so bad.

I think it's meant as a compliment.
But I would class it as a backhanded compliment.

I think it's a bit rude, too. Why not just say 'you look great'? The caveat about your age isn't necessary.

Too many people go ott with looking young and it can make them look older.
YABU

Well I think at some point it becomes a compliment rather than a backhanded one. In my 50’s I will take it, would have raised an eyebrow in my 40’s.

I have a friend in her late 60’s who looks incredible for her age, looks only a little bit younger but has amazing skin and bone structure so honestly you just think for her age (when frankly late 60’s is even harder to look ‘good’) is a massive compliment

In my mid 50’s I’m happy with it because honestly it is a bit harder to look good at this age, the glow of youth fucked off a long time ago and without a lot of skincare, exercise, facial exercise, it’s very easy to look pretty shit.

I don’t see the correlation to my OP?

It is a grudging compliment I’d rather do without. I tell total strangers that they look fabulous when I think they do, and their ages are absolutely NOT a factor!

Literally nobody other than my oh has told me I look good since I was pregnant nearly a decade ago. I wouldn’t mind getting that compliment to be honest.

A compliment is a compliment

I think it could be more of a compliment if the person knows your age. If you're in your 40s and they think you look late 20s. If they didn't know you and thought your actual age was mid-30s, but you look late 20s.

Did you comment on your friend's looks after they said that?

From a friend you’ve known a while and who has seen you grow through various life stages; yes it’s a compliment.

From a stranger who doesn’t know your age and is making presumptions; not quite so

This comment doesn’t even make sense

It a bit backhanded but I take it as a compliment (maybe not if they significantly younger!)

Well people complain when people dont get compliments so people cant win

I have VERY curly hair. When I straighten it (maybe once every 3 months) I get told how amazing I look with straight hair. I actually find it quite offensive and I shouldn't. I know people are saying it as I look different and they know I have made the effort to do it but I always think I spend 98% of the year with curly hair, do you think how shit I look the rest of the time? I think it is hard, people don't think compliments through before they give them

I always take it as a compliment. I'm 51. I have always looked young, which wasn't a bonus when I was 25 and looked 13, but now, it's brilliant! I often get mistaken for mid 30's. My Mum is in her 70's and looks in her 50's.

I'd have no problem someone saying it to me!

Yeah, it's an unnecessary caveat that can only serve to make you feel a bit bad. Also, assuming the friend is a similar age, it's just weird.

Thank you!

I was like .. sure tell me YABU but I really don’t get how this comment relates at all to what I posted.

They are 5 years younger, does that count as similar?

In what way is looking good for your age not a compliment? It's definitely better than looking a bit rough for your age

It really is
and we all know deep down ( or not that deep tbh) where the line is when it comes to being in the good looking after a certain age lol - 28/32 and then 40 plus

I mean who cares anyway ?

Yes similar. And honestly in that circumstance I would kind of take it as 'obviously not as good as me'! Or at the very least a pointed reminder that they are younger.

It’s not something I would ever say. I just say ‘you look beautiful’ or whatever, and mean it. Why mention age? Occasionally I have met someone new and then found out they were much older than I thought, and I might tell them I assumed they were younger, but otherwise no.

It’s the kind of comment that my siblings would say as a joke along with “oh you’re very clever…for a girl”. It’s a weird thing to say seriously, but says more about them than you.
i don’t get the attraction with looking “younger” than your age. It’s a bit pointless really.