Page 2 | To think saying you look good for your age isn’t a compliment?

Coloursyrue · 2025-12-06T18:34:31+00:00

Met up with an old friend and got told I looked incredible - for my age.

RobinEllacotStrike · 07/12/2025 07:14

00deed1988 · 06/12/2025 22:54

I have VERY curly hair. When I straighten it (maybe once every 3 months) I get told how amazing I look with straight hair. I actually find it quite offensive and I shouldn't. I know people are saying it as I look different and they know I have made the effort to do it but I always think I spend 98% of the year with curly hair, do you think how shit I look the rest of the time? I think it is hard, people don't think compliments through before they give them

We are all envious of your curls & that you can all straighten your hair & get such a dramatic & different look and look fabulous.

my dds hair is like this. Gorgeous!

Coconutter24 · 07/12/2025 08:32

Coloursyrue · 07/12/2025 00:05

Thank you!

I was like .. sure tell me YABU but I really don’t get how this comment relates at all to what I posted.

Show quote history

I don’t think it relates to what you posted at all

ifyoulikechocolate · 07/12/2025 11:15

When younger people say it, it makes me want to laugh. It’s trying to be complimentary but comes across as quite clumsy, as if they can’t believe older people can’t look good.

When we think “for your age”, it’s because our society has very fixed and narrow standards of beauty.

I always say you look great/lovely/fab without the age caveat. My mum is beautiful. (She is 83.)

Elsvieta · 07/12/2025 16:05

LaurieFairyCake · 06/12/2025 18:46

Well I think at some point it becomes a compliment rather than a backhanded one. In my 50’s I will take it, would have raised an eyebrow in my 40’s.

I have a friend in her late 60’s who looks incredible for her age, looks only a little bit younger but has amazing skin and bone structure so honestly you just think for her age (when frankly late 60’s is even harder to look ‘good’) is a massive compliment

In my mid 50’s I’m happy with it because honestly it is a bit harder to look good at this age, the glow of youth fucked off a long time ago and without a lot of skincare, exercise, facial exercise, it’s very easy to look pretty shit.

What does facial exercise consist of? I'm getting to the age where I'll consider any help I can get...

LadyMacbethssweetArabianhand · 08/12/2025 13:24

I had an ex colleague who made those kind of 'compliments'. Such as, "your hair looks nice-from the back" or "I like your trousers. I wouldn't wear them at your size" and many more. Everybody knew she was being very passive aggressive bitchy. I suspect the same of your friend

Original poster

Coloursyrue · 08/12/2025 13:49

ifyoulikechocolate · 07/12/2025 11:15

When younger people say it, it makes me want to laugh. It’s trying to be complimentary but comes across as quite clumsy, as if they can’t believe older people can’t look good.

When we think “for your age”, it’s because our society has very fixed and narrow standards of beauty.

I always say you look great/lovely/fab without the age caveat. My mum is beautiful. (She is 83.)

There’s an influencer I follow, she’s beautiful, very natural and I saw comments on an interview she did with people saying - omg she’s 31?!???

Like sorry are you supposed to be haggard and dried up old prune at 31?

OP posts:

Original poster

Coloursyrue · 08/12/2025 13:50

LadyMacbethssweetArabianhand · 08/12/2025 13:24

I had an ex colleague who made those kind of 'compliments'. Such as, "your hair looks nice-from the back" or "I like your trousers. I wouldn't wear them at your size" and many more. Everybody knew she was being very passive aggressive bitchy. I suspect the same of your friend

One colleague told me “you don’t look as fat and frumpy as x”

Well thank you …

OP posts:

Greenwitchart · 08/12/2025 13:52

I always think it is a backhanded compliment and would never use that turn of phrase.

Papyrophile · 08/12/2025 14:23

At nearly 70, I hugged the barmaid in our local when she said she assumed I was in my 50s! Back handed it may be, but it lifted my spirits all day.

canuckup · 08/12/2025 14:29

The for my age kills it, certainly

SparkleSpriteDust · 08/12/2025 14:29

Never understand why the 'for your age' is necessary!

canuckup · 08/12/2025 14:29

'lifted my spirits'

Hahaha good one

Vivisays · 08/12/2025 14:35

Wellstonethecrows · 06/12/2025 18:42

I think it's meant as a compliment.
But I would class it as a backhanded compliment.

Backhanded?? Do you expect to be told you look 30 when you’re actually 58? Wise up.

Wellstonethecrows · 08/12/2025 14:41

Vivisays · 08/12/2025 14:35

Backhanded?? Do you expect to be told you look 30 when you’re actually 58? Wise up.

Show quote history

There is no need to bring age into it at all for heaven's sake.
Either someone looks great or they don't look great.
What do you mean by " wise up" ?

Mintypanda · 08/12/2025 14:50

I do think people looking “good” is different to looking young. Gillian Anderson probably looks her age give or take a few years and is still a smoke show. Others can look young for their age and not be a smoke show. I try to focus on looking “good” not young (when I’m arsed)

TessSaysYes · 08/12/2025 15:11

I take it to mean you look younger than your age, but the age reference is jarring for sure. It's intended as a compliment though, and we all have an age in any case.
On the other hand you don't get told that in your 20s🤣

Wonderlandpeony · 10/12/2025 20:23

Yes, they should just tell you you look nice/great. Unless of course you are around 80/90, then I wouldn't mind.

Another one I find condescending is when someone tells me I look well.