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AIBU?

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Original poster

Fell over at work Christmas party

143 replies

Onslow1985 · 06/12/2025 13:45

Today is the morning after of a very boozy work Christmas party and I need a good talking to. The day was filled with wine and Prosecco and not much food! I’ve recently started a new team and I’m a few years away from qualifying as a solicitor. I’m 37 and other women in the team are the same age and have children. I’ve sadly had 5 miscarriages - I’ve been asked several if I have kids and why not and it was on my mind that I would be asked last night so probably numbing it with alcohol. The whole team were also really drunk and I remember a vague conversation about children and one the girls pulling me to one side and saying sorry & that she is also struggling to conceive. I also lost my balance on a high stool, slipped and took a solicitor down with me. He’s been really kind and told me to forget about it and don’t worry but I can’t stop panicking. My manager had went home by this point so didn’t see but I am so worried about my unprofessional drunken behaviour. Desperately fighting the urge to text every individual on the team with an apology. Am I wasting my energy on this? I’m hoping people won’t give it an extra thought. Dreading work on Monday….

OP posts:
updabanff · 06/12/2025 22:34

schoolsoutforever · 06/12/2025 21:35

'Had went' is a Glasweigan colloquialism so I'm guessing the op is from Glasgow or nearby. OP I think a bit of a fall off a stool isn't that big a deal. If that's all it was forget it and don't text.

I think it's an Ulster Scots thing as I've heard many Northern Irish use it as well.

Abbie7327 · 06/12/2025 22:35

CraftyPlayer · 06/12/2025 21:45

OP should add that they have a drinking problem to the original post.

Sorry just replied to OP, how do you know this?

OkWinifred · 06/12/2025 22:49

Don’t message anyone. All that would do is highlight the incident.

If anyone mentions it (I’m sure they won’t) just laugh it off.

Like all these things, it will come to pass.

WingingItSince1973 · 06/12/2025 22:51

Thepossibility · 06/12/2025 21:46

And you didn't behave badly. At our office Christmas party years ago I drew terrible caricatures of everyone in the office (including the big boss!) on the board on the meeting room.
It was there for everyone to see on the Monday. And I bloody signed it!

Ha ha that made me laugh 🤣

Todayisenough · 06/12/2025 22:52

Indeedcorrect · 06/12/2025 13:57

I thought I recognised this user

posters, this Op is prolific on mumsnet as having a serious alcohol problem that has been on going for years.

this is serious and not a one off

Why do this ?

Abbie7327 · 06/12/2025 22:52

updabanff · 06/12/2025 22:34

I think it's an Ulster Scots thing as I've heard many Northern Irish use it as well.

Show quote history

I say it all the time, I actually don’t understand how it’s wrong 🙈 “Susan had went home” “Abbie went home” the previous sounds to me like it happened in the past tense whereas Abbie just left? Jesus sorry for hijacking this post, now I’m reading it back and it doesn’t look right lol 😂

CasperGutman · 06/12/2025 22:57

Don't do or say anything about your behaviour. What happens at the Christmas party stays at the Christmas party.

One of our more senior managers was really embarrassingly drunk at ours last year and had to be literally carried to a taxi by four of the most junior staff. To my knowledge nobody has ever mentioned it since.

Onelifeonly · 06/12/2025 23:05

This reply has been deleted

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I think it's an Americanism. I've seen it a lot on Reddit. English, but not as we know it.

TheAutumnCrow · 06/12/2025 23:21

Abbie7327 · 06/12/2025 22:52

I say it all the time, I actually don’t understand how it’s wrong 🙈 “Susan had went home” “Abbie went home” the previous sounds to me like it happened in the past tense whereas Abbie just left? Jesus sorry for hijacking this post, now I’m reading it back and it doesn’t look right lol 😂

Show quote history

Abbie went home

Abbie had gone home

The manager went home

The manager had gone home

I think the point that other posters have been making is that as OP is hoping to be a solicitor, it really would be in her best interests to pack in the booze (if accounts of her other threads are accurate), and to be able to write reliably the kind of grammatically correct language that her clients will be paying good money for.

She could and should have a good career ahead of her hopefully.

NoKidsSendDogs · 07/12/2025 00:35

JDM625 · 06/12/2025 13:50

I'm sorry about your losses. We TTC 12yrs and lost 3. We have no living children.
If everyone else was plastered, I doubt they would have noticed and even if they did, might not remember it unless you remind them of it.

One Christmas party, the head of HR was going around the room, sprawling herself across each table yelling out 'Who has some coke?' 😆

Sounds like a fun party!

Christmascanary · 07/12/2025 01:05

I’m getting dejavu here big time

SleepsAPriority · 07/12/2025 01:06

As others have said, Style It out. If you did something highly embarrassing no one is likely to mention it to you, so you’ll be none-the-wiser. Pretend the night didn’t happen. Move-on.

Although, if getting drunk is a regular occurrence, simply stop going out with work-mates. Save the drunken antics for your personal life.

Christmascanary · 07/12/2025 01:10

This is the second thread I’ve read tonight where people can’t get their heads round a common Scottish turn of phrase.

I’m sure when OP is speaking in legalese she wouldn’t use the term!

Italiangreyhound · 07/12/2025 01:15

I'm so sorry for your losses. I hope you will manage to conceive soon.

Please do not worry about slipping off a bar stool. Hopefully, no one noticed and if they did and mention it just say you are sorry to the person you took down with you.

Don't worry.

VictoriaEra · 07/12/2025 02:44

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Gosh yes. That was the first thing that stood out to me. Clients will certainly notice that grammar.

VictoriaEra · 07/12/2025 03:15

PolishLab · 06/12/2025 16:34

I have been told that in Scotland, ‘had went’ is how people say ‘’had gone’. It sounds grammatically awful, but it’s an accepted form of dialect I think. I would not be impressed if a lawyer wrote like this in professional documents however.

Agree.

Springtimehere · 07/12/2025 03:32

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Springtimehere · 07/12/2025 03:32

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WilfredsPies · 07/12/2025 03:46

I’m guessing the self described wake up call you had in March, when you had no recollection of getting home, wasn’t enough to stop you from carrying on?

I mean this with kindness because I do understand why you’re using alcohol in the way that you are, but you have far bigger problems than your colleagues seeing you fall off a stool. I suspect they’re all fully aware of what’s going on because people talk. I also suspect that they’ll be kind enough to overlook it and pretend that none of them think you have a problem, right up until the inevitable moment when you fuck up at work because you’re hung over, or still not quite sober from the night before, when several of them will be only too happy to recount smelling alcohol on you on previous occasions.

WilfredsPies · 07/12/2025 03:48

Onelifeonly · 06/12/2025 23:05

I think it's an Americanism. I've seen it a lot on Reddit. English, but not as we know it.

Show quote history

It’s not an Americanism. Different locations in the UK use different regional phrasing. Why is this a surprise to anyone? Britain is not that big that we would be unaware of colloquialisms.

nomas · 07/12/2025 04:42

NeedWineNow · 06/12/2025 18:04

Totally agree with this. I worked for a City legal firm and my department's Christmas parties were so legendary that other teams begged to be invited to join in. I fell in the coat rack at our last one.

Show quote history

That sounds quite tame.

MazeyP · 07/12/2025 05:23

Onslow1985 · 06/12/2025 13:45

Today is the morning after of a very boozy work Christmas party and I need a good talking to. The day was filled with wine and Prosecco and not much food! I’ve recently started a new team and I’m a few years away from qualifying as a solicitor. I’m 37 and other women in the team are the same age and have children. I’ve sadly had 5 miscarriages - I’ve been asked several if I have kids and why not and it was on my mind that I would be asked last night so probably numbing it with alcohol. The whole team were also really drunk and I remember a vague conversation about children and one the girls pulling me to one side and saying sorry & that she is also struggling to conceive. I also lost my balance on a high stool, slipped and took a solicitor down with me. He’s been really kind and told me to forget about it and don’t worry but I can’t stop panicking. My manager had went home by this point so didn’t see but I am so worried about my unprofessional drunken behaviour. Desperately fighting the urge to text every individual on the team with an apology. Am I wasting my energy on this? I’m hoping people won’t give it an extra thought. Dreading work on Monday….

Come Monday you apologise to the one you dragged down to the floor. You play it by ear and act accordingly if your manager says anything about complaints. And you are not at uni, getting this drunk and embarrassing yourself should not be a thing you do at this age.

SheSaidHummingbird · 07/12/2025 05:27

No way did a solicitor write "had went"

Mapletree1985 · 07/12/2025 05:33

Theseventhmagpie · 06/12/2025 15:10

Yes, that puzzled me too - assuming it’s a typo.
Anyway, very long in the tooth solicitor here, OP you have absolutely nothing to worry about- the things I’ve seen at solicitors’ Christmas parties would make your hair curl 🤣🤣🤣

Show quote history

I see "had went" quite often online, and sometimes in the work of my students. I thought it was more of an Americanism.

Cheezit · 07/12/2025 05:39

Indeedcorrect · 06/12/2025 13:53

What’s the relevance of you struggling to conceive?

you got very pissed and slipped off a stool

The whole team were also really drunk

drunk people always recollect it like this 😆

What’s the relevance of you struggling to conceive?

She clearly explained why it impacted how she felt and behaved on the night. What’s your excuse?