Fell over at work Christmas party

[Onslow1985]

Today is the morning after of a very boozy work Christmas party and I need a good talking to. The day was filled with wine and Prosecco and not much food! I’ve recently started a new team and I’m a few years away from qualifying as a solicitor. I’m 37 and other women in the team are the same age and have children. I’ve sadly had 5 miscarriages - I’ve been asked several if I have kids and why not and it was on my mind that I would be asked last night so probably numbing it with alcohol. The whole team were also really drunk and I remember a vague conversation about children and one the girls pulling me to one side and saying sorry & that she is also struggling to conceive. I also lost my balance on a high stool, slipped and took a solicitor down with me. He’s been really kind and told me to forget about it and don’t worry but I can’t stop panicking. My manager had went home by this point so didn’t see but I am so worried about my unprofessional drunken behaviour. Desperately fighting the urge to text every individual on the team with an apology. Am I wasting my energy on this? I’m hoping people won’t give it an extra thought. Dreading work on Monday….

You have a bad case of “the fear” today. I promise you in a weeks time you will have forgotten all about this. Don’t text anyone. People will have been tipsy or drunk themselves and won’t have been focused on you as much as you think.
anyway it doesn’t sound to me like you made a fool of yourself at all. At my work Xmas party I saw a guy from a different department who was so drunk he fell asleep sitting on the stage where a band was playing and two young women who were his colleagues had to wake him up and carry him to the table and give him water. Now that would be cringeworthy. If it’s true that you have been getting drunk regularly like this you need to do some reflection when you are feeling better . I recommend the book “the sober girl society handbook “ by Millie Gooch.

Yes, that puzzled me too - assuming it’s a typo.
Anyway, very long in the tooth solicitor here, OP you have absolutely nothing to worry about- the things I’ve seen at solicitors’ Christmas parties would make your hair curl 🤣🤣🤣

You got drunk, lost balance, slipped over. It will have barely registered with anyone.
Honestly I've seen and heard about much worse behaviour at various Christmas parties. The law firm ones are the worst. A lot of solicitors are a bunch of repressed stuffed shirts, mix in alcohol and inhibitions are thrown to the wind.

Style it out. Don't say a word.

First, it sounds like everyone had had too much to drink, so I wouldn’t worry about it. Definitely style it out, and don’t even think about emailing or texting anyone.

But second, your other threads show that you clearly have an issue with alcohol - and health anxiety alongside does not make a good combination. Sounds like it’s time for you to get some help

Don't do anything. I wouldn't compound this by texting people but learn from it!! People drink too much and do and say things that are inappropriate because they lose their inhibitions at parties. This can be quite damaging sometimes because they say things or do things to people who hold their futures in their hands. The best thing to do with these events is go along, be sociable, hold your drink so you dont lose control and leave when things start to get a bit drunken and lairy. When you dont know people very well, its surprising but very personal topics come up as conversation openers particularly between women what does your husband/ partner do? Do you have Kids? How many? These can be be dodgy questions cant they? because maybe they are red flag questions for you and reach into your soul. There is an art to managing works parties and getting out of them unscathed particularly when you work in a competitive stressful environment. Today, after the event you are hung over and depressed by your drinking and a bit ashamed of yourself because you've over done it. I would just lay low, you must resolve to deal with your drinking if you feel that alcohol is becoming a problem. This will all blow over Im sure and maybe you are overthinking it. If you get an email or are asked 'Can you just step inside my office on Monday you will have to make an apology and promise that there will be no repeat of your out of character behaviour. That's about it!

Calm down grammar police, 'had went' is just a colloquialism, not a crime!

The OP made it very clear that she mentioned the miscarriages because she was worried about being asked why she hasn't got children and was 'numbing it with alcohol'. Honestly the reading comprehension on here is shocking sometimes. If you can't be arsed to read then why reply at all?

OP: don't message anyone, it's just the beer fear getting to you. No-one will care. If you were my colleague and I remembered you falling off a high stool I'd be more concerned about checking you were ok and uninjured than judging your alcohol intake. Laugh it off on Monday.

If a PP is correct you are using alcohol as a coping mechanism though, that's not ideal and you should probably try to find a better one. You need to take care of yourself and this isn't the best way. I'm sorry for your miscarriages and your struggles to conceive. I hope it all works out for you. Be kind to yourself xx

It’s definitely not the worst Christmas party story I’ve ever heard. But I think it’s probably just a sign to avoid these things in the future. It gave you some anxiety before you went and now you’re having “hangxiety” after going

It’s ok. At least you didn’t get your arse out. Don’t think anymore of it.

Nasty!

Sent from your ivory tower presumably...

Wtf

my point is - this is a lot more serious that has been conveyed and probably best not to comment as though this is a lighthearted one off

Don't put anything in writing! It sounds like everyone had a few. If anyone says anything just say it did get a bit out of hand, or yes it was a good night, or I shouldn't have had that champagne it always goes to my head or whatever fits with their comment, it happens to most people at some time, unmeasured drinks, topping up of glasses and mixed drinks can be fatal, you lose all track of how much you have had.

I thought I was a grammar Nazi until I joined MN . Had went isn’t the end of the world 🙄

If this was a one off situation i would say forget about it, laugh it off. It was a xmas party. However it clearly isn't a one off. You have a troubling history with alcohol and you need serious help.

What sort of typo turns "gone" into "went"?!

You didn't shag anyone, flash your tits or start a fight. It's all good.

I remember getting a job in a small call center (1980s when I was just finishing my first degree and waiting to start my masters). Women asking if I had children and my saying no, I was child free. That was a bit too much for some of them to cope with.One said "Are you going to be an old maid?"

"Goodness, what a peculiar expression. Ive not heard that one since my grandmother died. Do people still talk like that?"

Have to admit I enjoy delivering these kinds of ripostes in a crushing tone.

Oh please don't fret OP. I've worked in the legal sector for the last 40 odd years, high street firms and now Corporate and believe me, nothing you did is that shocking and I've seen and done (long time ago) far, far worse. Sounds like everyone was drinking heavily so don't even mention it on Monday, you did nothing that bad and this is your hangxiety talking. Breathe and let it go x

Next Christmas you should went home earlier.

'Had went' is a common phrasing in some local dialects. If you haven't heard one of those dialects before, consider that you're not comprehensively familiar with every linguistic sub-group in Britain.

OP, try to quit alcohol completely.

Style it out, never apologise never explain. Don’t be such a donkey next time - but most of us have done similar (or worse).

And what does it mean?

“Had went” is less common in the writings of lawyers though. I hope.

Style it out. DO NOT text anyone.

but do be in early on Monday. In my experience it’s better to be the 1st in the office after these types of events. You can smile and brush it off with a breezy, yes my head was splitting on Saturday, comment.

if you walk in last you have the fear that everyone will have been commenting (they won’t) or as in one place I worked, a big cheer for the last to arrive (purely because they were last). But that was when Christmas nights out were mid week.

Someone says they've had five miscarriages and is ashamed they've blotted it out by drinking .
And you respond by correcting their grammar.
Why would anyone be that horrible?