Burst my friend's bubble?

[Flyingmonica]

My friend goes on about her son likely being tall - 6 foot 3 based on the UK growth chart. Would I be unreasonable in telling her that because she isn't very tall, this is unlikely to be the case and that the growth chart predictions are rubbish?

She is sold on the idea of her son being tall and her son has come to believe that too but I think that now he is approaching puberty, he may become very disappointed.

Should I just leave it be or should I give her a dose of reality?

It would irritate me a bit too because I don't see what's meant to be wonderful or better about being tall (I'm taller than average myself but meh). But there's really no point trying to "burst her bubble". If you're wrong and he does grow to 6'3 you'll look a pillock and she'll crow about it even more.

Just try and tune it out, don't comment at all and wait for a change of subject.

The strongest indicator of a child's adult height tends to be height of parents but as posters on this thread have shown, there are always wild cards in genetics. I read somewhere that a boy's height will be roughly average of mum and dad height plus 3 inches. Same for girls but minus 3 inches. That has been true for our kids almost exactly but it could be a coincidence. Just throwing in the theory for interest.

You have an unhealthy attitude about height mattering.

Maybe you'd do better to address this rather than trying to reinforce this unhealthy attitude.

Not even close to true for mine.

I think I'd be more inclined to say something like "short or tall, I'm sure he'll be a lovely man. I don't think his height should be made into a big deal in case he surprises you"
Because what matters isn't surely bursting a friends bubble, its chipping in if you can, to stop her giving the poor lad an obsession with his height.

The growth charts are very accurate in our household. Both of us parents are not tall, 2 children were predicted to be tall, I laughed as I thought it was rubbish based on our height.
Both children are tall now.

Just leave it. Saying anything will sound mean

i am 5ft 7 and my son’s father can’t be much more than that, maybe 5ft 8 at a push and DS is 6ft 1

Friends son. 6'6".

His dad is taller than his mum. His dad is 5'10".

Obviously he's a mutant.

My sons are both 5 11, I'm 5ft 1 and the all important half 🤣 and my husband is 5 8, my older son had a real must be 6ft thing going on as a teenager. I have no idea why. It was never going to happen given me and his dad are both short

I’d just leave it, she won’t thank you for it. How much she’s going on about it sounds like she has a complex about it and is possibly worried he’ll be short like her. That’s why she’s so fixated on the chart.

I don’t think she should be making a big thing of this to her son as genes can work in funny ways and you can’t truly predict how tall he’ll end up being. I think things can be more difficult for short men so can understand wanting a taller son but talking about it won’t make a difference other than possibly making him more self-conscious if he does end up short. Hopefully he’ll feel happy with his final height even if it’s not as tall as predicted.

I think you should all stop focusing on it and just accept whatever height he’ll be is what he’ll be. There’s so much more to a person than their height.

You sound almost gleeful, how gross.

Honestly? I wonder if the friend talks about this a LOT (to the point of being weird and irritating). I used to go out with someone who was tall and he would shoehorn how tall he was into conversations where it wasn’t relevant. The best way to irritate him was to go “Hmmm” and nod whenever he mentioned it so that there was nothing more to say on the subject.

I do not have an obsession and I wouldn't say my friend goes on about it. Boys do care about their height. To pretend it does not matter is strange. It is not what I or even what my friend says that will make height matter. Society puts a premium on height. For instance, for most part, Americans always elect the tallest of the presidential nominees. Taller people get a premium in salary on average. Women generally prefer taller men than shorter men. Even on this thread, almost all are waxing on about their tall DC and brothers and sisters.

There is even a phrase "short man syndrome". So height matters and it matters not because of anything I say or think.

Of course genetics play a part, but height is such a lottery, you cannot possibly know how tall her son will eventually be. I'm 5'2", husband is 5"9 and our three boys range from 5'8" to 6'3"... even more so, what's the point? I really don't think you want to do this for any positive reason.

In your first post you did say she ‘goes on about it’. If she hardly brings it up it’s even less of an issue.

Does she really care that much? I can’t see that telling her her son will be 4” shorter than she expects is really so earth shattering

But you don't actually know for a fact how tall he will be either. Just wait and see FFS.

‘Friend’

RE short man syndrome, conversely friends & I used to joke while we were online dating that being over 6’ is not a personality but so many men seemed to think it was….

I mean not in the obsessive way that is being implied by posters. She does mention it but not as an obsession, which is what is being assumed by many.

You both sound really odd and inappropriately fixated. Her on her son's height and you on her. Since you have literally no idea what the end result will be, leave them alone.

For what it's worth, I'm 5'3", DH is 6' and DD is 5'10", 2 boys are 6'3" and 6'4". DD grew pretty early and stopped (as girls tend to) boys both had late growth spurts, way after puberty. Until about 17 growth charts were predicting 5'10" for both of them.

But whhhhyyyy does it matter?
I honestly never think about anyone's height except when my son drives my tiny car and literally has to fold himself down and even then I just think oh dear, he looks so uncomfortable.

Why is tall good and short bad? We get what we're given.

Whether it matters or not, you have no idea how tall the boy will be … So why be so determined to say something to ‘burst her bubble’?

Be a good friend and leave her be.

This is such a weird post and weird attitude to your friendship. Just leave your friend and her son alone.

Hah. My DCs always take the piss out of me about how far forward the seat is when they get in to drive my car.