Burst my friend's bubble?

[Flyingmonica]

My friend goes on about her son likely being tall - 6 foot 3 based on the UK growth chart. Would I be unreasonable in telling her that because she isn't very tall, this is unlikely to be the case and that the growth chart predictions are rubbish?

She is sold on the idea of her son being tall and her son has come to believe that too but I think that now he is approaching puberty, he may become very disappointed.

Should I just leave it be or should I give her a dose of reality?

Telling her would save her and her son from disappointment by helping them to temper their expectations

Does this apply to other things parents say about their kids as well? Do you go around telling them their children are in fact not likely to be as talented/musical/athletic/good looking etc, just to temper expectations?

The height they were when they are 2 is considered a good predictor for adult height. A better one than the height of the parents. If that’s the measure she’s using, you wouldn’t even be “giving her a dose of reality”.

My husband is one of six. Same parents and their dad was never particularly tall, but their adult heights range from about 5ft8 to 6ft3.

Giving someone (a friend especially) "a dose of reality" sounds quite bitter. Why would you do this? For whstever reason this seems to be important to her so let her have it. Makes no difference to you. Do you like to always be 'right' about things, show off your superior knowledge?

Have you genuinely got nothing better to do??

Would it make you feel better? Or is it just harmless and she will find out herself for sure one day?

Why does it matter to you so much?
Having said that, my husband for some reason is obsessed with people’s heights and seems to think it’s an indicator of someone’s character how tall they are. He’s overly concerned with how tall our dd will get, I just don’t get it.
Just ignore her OP.

you don’t really know though do you? neither of you do? seems strange to me that you feel the need to “burst your friends bubble”.. just leave her to it? odd.

You sound like a lovely friend.

seriously, what does it matter: she’ll find out either way in a few years

What a strange thing to be bothered about. So what if she thinks her son will be tall? Whether he is or not doesn’t make a difference to anyone. Why would you want to “bust her bubble?” It sounds like you’re unreasonably annoyed at her for this, which is a bit odd TBH.

My husband is 6’2 and his parents are 5’4 and 5’8. Totally normal for children to be taller than their parents. Who made you the height police and why do you care so much? 🤣

Based on those heights the calculators wouldn't give those heights anyway. However they are usually a load of rubbish. My birth father is 6ft 4. I'm 5ft4. I was meant to be 5"6 minimum.

My older sons are 6ft 1 and 6ft 2. (Aged 15)

My younger sons are on the 9th and 25 percentile for height. No idea whether they'll catch up later on. Genetics are a strange thing so you never can tell!

Why are you pretending that this is a ‘kindness’ to ‘manage expectations’. You are a nasty piece of work and every person reading this thread has met someone like you who believes they ‘tell the truth’. You are bitter and jealous and plain unkind. This poor woman doesn’t realise there is a snake in her camp.

And you call yourself a "friend"???
Leave it be.
If you find her annoying, give yourself some space, but you just come across as mean.

Yeah right. Stop meddling 😂

What difference does it make to you whether he’s tall or not? You sound weird.

No it wouldn't. It would just make her think you were being (completely pointlessly) mean. I'd mind your own business if I were you. You have no idea how tall he will be.

What is this really about op? Maybe have a think?

What a load of rubbish. Im 5ft1 and both my sons are taller than me. My youngest aged 18 is 6ft6!

Not sure why this would bother or concern you at all?

I would leave it, you’ll all have the answer in time.
My son is 6’5”, my daughter 5’8”.
My daughter was always tall for her age, my son took a growth spurt at 14.
Their Dad is 5’11, I’m 5’5”.
My father was 5’8, my mother 5’5”.
My husband’s parents were quite short.
Even medically qualified people can only give an estimate - we were told my son would reach 6’2”
Let your friend say what she wants, I’ve heard people referring to me as being tall (?)
It doesn’t matter!

But surely it’s not ‘reality’, is it? It’s speculating about something that won’t happen for at least a few years. Your perspective is no more a ‘reality’ than hers or mine or anyone else’s. I’d let this go, OP. I don’t think there’s a way you can approach this without seeming a bit spiteful at best or a bit deranged at worst. Pick your battles.

What a weird thing to want to burst someone's bubble about 😂 my mother is 4ft 10inches. I am 5ft 6inches. I don't think you can guess these things! Also my sister is 5ft3 and my nephew is 6ft 4 😂. So I hate to burst your bubble, but you could well be wrong! If not it's not that deep 😂

What a bizarre take. Why is it of any concern to you? The child won’t suddenly wake up and be 6ft3. If he isn’t growing that way he’ll have his teens in to get used to the idea.

The women in my family are short and the men are tall. My Aunt is 5ft her son 6ft5. Another Aunt is 5ft1 her son 6ft2. None of my male cousins or my grandfathers are / were under 6ft.While the woman’s height can be indicative, there are plenty of other factors.

My boys are not tall but I’m not worried. I come from a family of slow growers and they have plenty of time to reach their adult height.

No need to say anything to your friend.

My 3 nephews are all over 6ft, my niece is 5ft11 & their dad is 5ft10.

UK growth charts are pretty accurate, in my experience. My children are in their 30s and both are taller than us.

Additionally, whereas girls stop growing when they reach puberty, boys keep growing and can have a spurt at the end (18 - 20). I remember in my teens being taller than most of the boys in my class, when we were 18/19 they had all overtaken me (5'8).