If I see any more comments on Mumsnet of it's just a dog

[Lifeneedsaresetagain]

Do people not realise that for those who welcome them into the family they are part of the family. And if you have a dog and say it's just a dog, I'm not sure you should have one.

Your pet can and should be a part of your family.

You can’t come on here then tell people who don’t agree with you not to comment. A dog is an animal, not a human.

Completely agree! I am childless (after many years of unsuccessfully TTC) but rescuing my first dog (Fiona) changed me for the better. She unlocked a part of my heart allowing me to discover a sense of real feeling and giving love in a way I’d never been capable of before.

I’ve lost a number of close family members, as well as family on my DH’s side and can honestly say the grief, guilt and loneliness I felt when my second rescue Logan died absolutely broke me. I had to take a week from work as it was so sudden and heartbreaking and will still 3 years later creep up on me and get the tears flowing.

Dogs are happy, excited and loving and loyal and so emotionally sensitive and they love us in a way that is innocent, authentic, constant, genuine, and without an ounce of an ulterior motive. You are always the best part of their day, never judging and so grateful for the love time and attention we give them and no comprehension of how much the gives us back just by being who they are.

Thankfully all of my wider family consider my 3 as part of the family and will often assume to include them in invites to things, but it’s not an issue if that isn’t possible and alternative arrangements are made.

Dogs truly are the best thing in the world and I feel so grateful to have been blessed that they’re part of my family, enriching my life everyday. Their lives are short but they live them with a joie de vivre. A lesson I think many of us could really learn from!

That was a poorly trained dog and is the fault of the owner. The dog was behaving in exactly the way it had been taught to. It didn't know any different.

It doesn't make it right, but I feel the need to point out who is actually at fault here.

Also, Babying dogs and forming a deep bond with a dog are two very different things.

Those were the days.

So when you and the dog dies, the loss is going to be equal to your DD? Of course not, we replace pets.
If you are not getting your dog used to kennels etc, not treating the dog like a dog, then you are creating a possible future scenario of the dog being PTS if anything happens to you, even temporary. You then don't love the dog like you say. Just like a Mother who is over emeshed in her child and creates learned helplessness. It's about you.

OP, I’m an animal lover, have been the proud and loving owner of horses, dogs and a cat. Each and every one of them had personality and when each and every one of them died the entire family were in mourning.

I absolutely agree, they are indeed part of the family.
I hope you don’t mind my asking but has something negative happened which prompted you to write this thread?

But it is all context related in my book. A dog dies, telling the owner "stop crying, it is just a dog" is cruel. Someone telling hwo their child passed away and Someone saying "I know how you feel, my dog died 3 years ago" then it is just a dog. Child is diagnosed with cancer vs dog is diagnosed with cancer, people i know have thought about the treatment plan very differently.

When we talki about whole family being invited (including dogs and kids) are we talking about a wedding or popping over for a cuppa?

Should we also understand that the dog is very important to the owner and accept that the dog comes first to them in a lot of situstions. Absolutely.

Yeah, there are moments when we need to understand that dogs are very important to people, then there are moments when we need to understand that it is just a dog.

I'm not really sure why you made the thread OP. You might see dogs as equal to humans but creating a thread declaring that everyone should see them this way and jumping down their throats if they don't isn't going to change anyone's mind

I'm afraid most humans, whether you like it or not, rank humans above dogs in the hierarchy of needs. I love dogs. I'd rather invite a good dog into my living room to spend time with than most humans tbh and would get more joy from a dog than most humans. However if I was given the choice of saving even my own dog from a burning buulding or a human I don't like within reason then you best believe I'm gonna save the human because my brain intuitively assigns that hierarchy. I respect anyone who might feel different but I don't apologise for my own values.

I think in practical terms I would respect anyone's choice to regard their pet as a family member eg if I invited them over but said their dog isn't welcome in my house I'd respect their choice to decline my invite. However they also need to respect that there are situations in which including a dog isn't appropriate or simply isn't desired. Part of being a dog owner is to respect this and plan for the very real possibility that not everybody values your dog the way that you do.

Flawed though we might be, humans are in charge of the world. Say humans died, do you think the dog population could rule the world and make decisions? Of course not. It’s such a silly argument. Dogs are completely dependent on humans. They are not the same. We have higher cognitive functioning. I can’t believe I have to point that out!

Don't get me started.

My child had cancer last year and a family member tried comparing it to when their dog had cancer.

I certainly told them that it's just a dog in that scenario. I ordinarily wouldn't but that situation called for it.

I think some people just don’t think before they open their mouths.
I have loved every one of the animals I had the privilege of caring for.
However, if needs be, I would willingly lay down my life to save my child.
Hand on heart, no matter how much I loved my animals, I wouldn’t be prepared to do the same.

Of course we have higher cognitive functioning, but why does that immediately mean we are superior? We are in charge because evolution has enabled us to be, but animals were here long before us, and I imagine they’ll be here long after us too. Prior to the existence of man, sentient beings and different ecosystems flourished for billions of years and they’ll do so again. There’s been countless studies done that demonstrate if humans were to go extinct, the planet would recover in so many ways. Coral reefs would recover, species on the brink of extinction would recover, forests would flourish, pollution would dramatically reduce, our oceans would recover etc.

Humans are absolutely not indispensable to the planet and it’s a stupid argument that the world needs to be ‘ruled’. I feel sad for you that that’s the way you view the planet, I honestly do!

Perhaps you should have taken your own advice when thinking about starting this thread

Right?! I mean OP's contribution to an AIBU thread has so far been 'I'm sick of people not seeing things the same way as me' then 'If you don't agree with me please don't bother posting because you clearly don't have enough experience of this subject' ..... Doesn't quite meet the criteria for an AIBU debate but then it's pretty much the only category people will post in because they know it gets the most traffic

I'm sorry you had to go through that experience with your child, that must have been so incredibly harrowing. I'd imagine the family member was trying to say, although clumsily, was they too have felt the horrible pain of fearing the loss of a seriously ill loved one. But their way of expressing that likely didn't feel like empathy to you.

My dog died recently, and the loss is every bit as awful as any human losses have been. It was with my last one too. He was ill towards the end, and the worst thing was not being able to explain why and soothe him the way I have done with my human children when they were sick. Is it a fair comparison with a human child? No. It is different, the worry, the helplessness and the pain of the loss of a dearly loved animal companion has its own unique character. It's different, but the emotion involved is not necessarily less, if you are the kind of person who bonds strongly with your animals.

Nobody should assume their pain is either comparable with someone else's, or fair game to be dismissed. Pain and loss is pain and loss, and all those going through those things deserve care, support and compassion.

I really hope your DC is coming out the other side now.

Question to you and all other people in this thread:

Why is a dog's life automatically worth less than a human's life?

There seems to be a presumption in these discussions that a human's life takes priority above all else, but why? There is nothing special about a human that automatically means they are worth more than any animal.

Okay. Then why is an evolved monkey considered better than dogs, cats, pigs, or any other animals? All of them are alive, have feelings, and even have brains (regardless of size). I love my child more than his dog, but I love that dog more than anyone else’s child.

@HotWaterCosts Say humans died, do you think the dog population could rule the world and make decisions?

Well shit, the earth and all life on it seemed to exist just fine for a few billion years before humans showed up.

I had a friend who wanted to bring her dog to my house when visiting for the afternoon. I declined as DD1 had just been diagnosed with allergies, including to dog hair.
Friend was very upset that I was excluding her dog. I suggested we went on a walk instead. She declined as dog would feel unwelcome arriving at the house but not being allowed in, and as I was being "precious" for not wanting allergens shed all over my home.
I did not use the phrase "it's just a dog". But I certainly thought it.

Agreed 👍

A dog is a pet, a goldfish is a pet, a hamster is a pet. None of these are family members. They are animals we buy to amuse us

You’re right as well. Your house, your rules.

Their dog had died of cancer a few years before my son was diagnosed. They compared it and outright said that they knew what I was going through and at the time, my son was on life support and not expected to live.

We no longer have a relationship. They expected an apology and made an incredibly difficult time all about their bloody dog including more comparisons about when it was kinder to let their dog go with my son's situation on life support.

He's in remission and doing well now, thanks.

My dog is my family. Why do you think you get to decide who my family is? You don't.