The mums are going out FOMO

[Peppa421]

I’m friendly enough with DD’s class mums (year 2) I say hi and bye but not overly close with them. One posted in the group chat about end of term lunch with the kids to a Restarant chain near by. I politely declined because I’m not sociable and I don’t fancy dealing with my DD and her elder brother too and most likely they will fight the entire meal. But listening to all the chatter on the group chat I feel a little down. My mental health is not great right now but I’m working on it by getting my environment clean and tidy and not letting myself get too stressed out which makes me worse. It seems like lots are going. In class of 22 about 13 have said yes.

I feel really depressed listening to them as I wish I could be normal but if I said yes I would be thinking about it and obsessing over the things that could go wrong from now till the 2 weeks when it happens. Can anyone relate or give me advice? I truthfully don’t want to go but I feel I should be going and my DD is missing out. Please help me feel better I feel so down. I wish I wasn’t so crazy and wish I was normal.

I can relate. I'm not ND but I am an introvert. I would rather not to go social things at all but then worry about the fact I'm not going. I have to say, I have pushed myself on occasion and I do tend to find I enjoy it when I do go, but sometimes I just can't. This one does sound like a very large group, so you'd only find yourself chatting one or two people anyway that you're sitting close to. Maybe wait for a smaller mums only meet up to happen? Or just do some playdates?

OP I know how you feel, I also am disinclined to do events like this plus my DS2 in particular was challenging (ADHD) so wouldn’t just sit and colour like other kids etc) - I felt it would be easy to become isolated because of these things so I used to push myself to do them. I had to put a lot of effort and energy into them, for example being sociable plus making sure DS2 was not being disruptive etc but still able to have fun - and I’m glad I did. However there are of course times when your own battery is too low to push yourself and you know best when that is.

It sounds like you have depression and GAD and this is presenting itself as rumination.

You’ve made a decision (perhaps built on hypothetical worry) but you are going over and over it in your head and on here. That’s the bit that’s the problem right now. If you google CCI you will find some really good Australian self-help reading material to help.

Yes totally, I get sensory overload in busy places and socialising wipes me out due to fibromyalgia, depression and anxiety and I will over think about going, if I don't go I will feel sad, but everyone understands my position.

Do the others know you and how you struggle? Maybe you could explain to 1 of them who you feel would understand without judgement?

Maybe you can say yes and then on the day you can either go for it 'feel the fear and do it anyway' or you can text and say you are not feeling well enough to go.

Sometimes once you get out and go you forget, e.g the other day I went to the gym for the 1st time in a long time and nearly talked myself out of going, but because I went with my sister I had arranged it so had to go and I was so proud of myself for going, even though I didnt do much I got out of the house!

It is very difficult battling with your mind every single day, but sometimes we just have to push ourselves and tell our minds to sssshhhhh! 😄