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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be furious?

802 replies

havasack · 05/12/2025 07:35

On Thursdays I meet my childminder at the school gates to hand over my 1 year old while I’m picking up my 6 year old.
We had a brief chat and then she said (in front of a few other people) she’d seen we’d been away at the weekend and that ‘maybe I should pay my childcare bill before I book holidays’. Three people turned around and I was bright red in the face. How unprofessional!
For context - payment was due Monday and she’s sent me no reminders which she usually does after 2/3 days then I always pay! I’ve never not paid.

I’m thinking of transferring to a nursery as there may be more professional boundaries in place. She should not have mentioned that in front of others. AIBU?

OP posts:
Gabby8 · 05/12/2025 11:42

Just fyi most nurseries won’t give you reminders and just add a late fee.

She was unprofessional but at the end of the day not incorrect. You should ensure you pay your bills before going away.

ParmaVioletTea · 05/12/2025 11:43

ShizIsWicked · 05/12/2025 09:27

Sarcasm

Show quote history

Indeed.

English understatement ... Grin

reversingdumptruckwithnotyreson · 05/12/2025 11:44

havasack · 05/12/2025 07:39

She threatened to suspend care a few months ago and then she added a £10 a day late fee. So she’s had at least an extra £100 from me that she hasn’t earned at all.

Shes earned it by the simple fact you keep paying late.

Pay your stuff on time and this won’t be an issue. She would have been unreasonable if it was a one off, but you seem to have form for it. Maybe now that she called you out publicly you’ll start considering her.

NemesisInferior · 05/12/2025 11:44

YABU.

She'll rely on people paying on time to, y'know, pay her bills.

If I were her I would bin you off as a client, and then what will you do?

CactusPeach · 05/12/2025 11:45

You mention she usually sends you reminders so it's sounds like paying her late is not unusual.
You also say, she's charged you £10 a day late charges and she's had an extra £100 from you, again signalling that paying late is not unusual. And the comment those late charges are "money she's not actually earned" is a bit bitchy, because they would be completely avoided by you paying on time.
Not paying on time is unacceptable, so while saying it loudly in front of others may be a bit unprofessional she is understandably annoyed at your continued late payments.
The only reason you're embarrassed is because your own bad behaviour was pointed out to you publicly.

Londongirlx · 05/12/2025 11:47

Do you have to remind your employer to get paid?
I wouldn't be too happy if the onus was on me to ask my employer to pay me!

ElReverendoGreen · 05/12/2025 11:50

Isadora2007 · 05/12/2025 07:37

You should have paid her on Monday and you hadn’t by Thursday? You are definitely unreasonable. And she was being a snide cow but you deserved it, sorry.

Yup.

id be thoroughly fed up of you if I were her.

her reminders haven’t worked. You still think it’s ok to pay her “a few days” late. So she’s embarrassed you in front of other parents and finally got a reaction.

job done.

ilovesooty · 05/12/2025 11:50

She probably did it deliberately and I don't blame her. Pay on time in future.

ilovesooty · 05/12/2025 11:52

havasack · 05/12/2025 07:39

She threatened to suspend care a few months ago and then she added a £10 a day late fee. So she’s had at least an extra £100 from me that she hasn’t earned at all.

How entitled are you?

BuckChuckets · 05/12/2025 11:56

havasack · 05/12/2025 07:39

She threatened to suspend care a few months ago and then she added a £10 a day late fee. So she’s had at least an extra £100 from me that she hasn’t earned at all.

Good. Pay your invoices on time in future.

DoubleHardBastard · 05/12/2025 11:57

havasack · 05/12/2025 07:39

She threatened to suspend care a few months ago and then she added a £10 a day late fee. So she’s had at least an extra £100 from me that she hasn’t earned at all.

And yet you find it acceptable not to pay her what she has earned on time and instead wait for her to remind you which she shouldn't have to do?

If you can't pay for services on time then maybe you shouldn't have them.

sweeneytoddsrazor · 05/12/2025 12:00

Consider the £10 late payment cheap. Some banks charge £25 if DDs or SOs don't go out because of lack of funds. If that has happened to her because of you paying late she is still out of pocket.

ThatBlackCat · 05/12/2025 12:03

havasack · 05/12/2025 07:39

She threatened to suspend care a few months ago and then she added a £10 a day late fee. So she’s had at least an extra £100 from me that she hasn’t earned at all.

I initially voted YANBU but changed it and re-entered my vote to YABU having read this.

Here's the thing; pay your bills on time! Then you won't have late fees and won't be shamed. You could have saved the extra 100 if only you had just paid the friggin thing on time. She should not have to go without being paid a single day late because you're too disorganised and disrespectful to do the right thing! Good on her! You deserve to feel shamed! And I hope those who overheard remember and judge you too.

divorcinganabsolutewanker · 05/12/2025 12:09

havasack · 05/12/2025 07:39

She threatened to suspend care a few months ago and then she added a £10 a day late fee. So she’s had at least an extra £100 from me that she hasn’t earned at all.

Op, are you actually messing now.

She should not have said it in front of of others and you know you should pay her on time.

MyMilchick · 05/12/2025 12:11

You are being totally unreasonable to expect her to remind you to pay her every week, it's no wonder she got so annoyed!

Mangelwurzelfortea · 05/12/2025 12:13

So you're paying her late every week then getting annoyed that she brings it up? YABVU.

JoClogs · 05/12/2025 12:17

You paid her late 10 times?

You went away on a break without first paying her.

That's outrageous and abusive.

Itsseweasy · 05/12/2025 12:17

Good on her for matching your energy!
You are incredibly unprofessional to pay her late on more than 1 occasion, she doesn’t owe you anything.
Wait til you see what nursery does when you pay late!

Tryingatleast · 05/12/2025 12:19

Cheeky of her and ridiculous to say it where she did, she should have messaged or organised to meet up. You would be unreasonable if she’s good, it would be cutting off your nose to spite your face!

5128gap · 05/12/2025 12:23

She's was rude, but its really bad of you to pay her late and have such a dismissive attitude. So frankly, you deserved it.

Ilikechristmas · 05/12/2025 12:26

This has to be a wide up and watch them go thread.

The entitlement of thinking you can regularly pay late, and make the childminder do the extra work of chasing you to pay her- nah - you wrote this post to wide people up.

HaughtyAndCold · 05/12/2025 12:26

So you were late paying?

RoamingToaster · 05/12/2025 12:26

Can't you just set up a standing order?

sprigatito · 05/12/2025 12:27

I think you were rude, boasting about your holiday in front of the woman you hadn’t paid on time! It sounds as though you think the “payment due” date is just a guideline, and it doesn’t matter if it’s a bit late. That’s a very privileged position and actually a bit ignorant. If this isn’t the first time you’ve paid late - and you don’t even have the decency to be apologetic about it - then I’m not surprised she snapped.

IHateTheElf · 05/12/2025 12:27

Ilikechristmas · 05/12/2025 12:26

This has to be a wide up and watch them go thread.

The entitlement of thinking you can regularly pay late, and make the childminder do the extra work of chasing you to pay her- nah - you wrote this post to wide people up.

Totally agree. The added info is absolutely classic..don't know why anyone responds.