Ski trip cost- are we subsidizing “host “ family

[Moknicker]

Wanted to get a sense check on how a family has asked us to split costs for an upcoming ski trip

• One family (2 adults + 2 kids) is going on the trip.
• Four additional children (each from separate families) were invited to join. Our child is one of these - is friends with younger child. Kids are 17 and 15 year olds
• Total people on the trip: 8
• 4 from the host family.
• 4 individual children

Shared costs:

• Accommodation: 4k total
• Ski lift pass: 7 at 300 each = 2100 ( mum is not skiing)
• Total cost: 6100

The host family just told us the cost is 1640 for our son. I asked for the breakdown( we were only given total figure). It looks like they have added up the costs and divided by 5

Aibu to say this is not fair and our cost is around 1050( accommodation divided by 8 and we pay 300 for ski lift ) and we and the other kids should not be subsidizing the “host” family? And if we are then they should have told us beforehand?

Travel costs and other costs are covered individually.

I'm curiously invested in this one.

If you want to be tactful ask for a breakdown of their guesstimates of everything "including the other costs" and they migt say "oh no that's to cover every thing" in which case I think they sound amazing people to take on all this sorting out and planning!!

Posters here are so weird. Do you all seriously socialise with people who would be intentionally scamming you?? Seems like that is the default reaction for so many.

My assumption would be that they’ve had to pay more for accommodation to fit the kids in and or hire a minibus to do the transfer - or something similar. I did I combined trip with another family once and the jump from 5 seater hire car to 6 seater minivan was an additional 480 euros. This will be more for most aspects of a ski trip because everything is expensive. They likely forgot to include something.
I would question the maths or the communication skills before i questioned their motives
ps. Do they want an additional kid?

Just ask for a breakdown - simple!

I’d go back and say

“Hello, thank you for this, I am still a little confused by the costing, as £4k divided by 8 would be £500 and then £300 for the pass, is some of it for food and drink or any other costs? I really appreciate it, thank you!”

She has!

I wonder OP if they have forgotten some costs like car hire, etc. but it’s not unreasonable to ask with such a big investment!

If transfers / equipment hire is to be paid seperately then they are taking the piss as 4 x 1640 covers the full cost of everybody

I'm not sure most people would write-off £840 as a "not insane" amount they'd pay to avoid social awkwardness.

I know. I am weirdly invested in this one and I feel we're never going to find out what the host family is actually including in that figure! Or why the OP didn't ask from the start how much the trip was likely to cost her! I'd never just agree to send my son anywhere without knowing how much I'd have to pay for it!

Yeah that's the spare change in my pockets right now. I'll probably just give it to a homeless person outside Waitrose.

OP definitely needs to know what all the costs will be (from landing at nearest airport to arriving back there for the return flight), and which of them are covered by this advance payment, so she knows how much additional spending money her DC needs during the trip. She should couch her enquiry in these terms.

Me also.

It's almost certainly a misunderstanding of what's covered - either OP is assuming she's paying separately for things the hosts have already factored in, or the OP is oblivious to some of the costs of a ski trip.

But I still want to know the details!

Insane how many people go in all guns blazing for what might be a typo, a parent being bad at maths or a misunderstanding about the costs when initially discussed (they could have two adjoining apartments, for example, and have only quoted the non-family apartment price in initial discussions).

Yes it looks like a bit of a piss take from host family.

FWIW, whenever my kids have been lucky enough to be invited on holiday as a guest of their friends' families, the host family has always covered the whole thing! I have always offered to pay a share of costs but have always been refused!

Perhaps we have some unusually generous families around us, but this seems to be the norm when you are taking your own kids' friends on holiday with you.

In this case, if the host family wanted guests to pay, they should have explicitly said 'we are organising a ski trip and would love your DC to join us if possible, we've worked out it will cost £xyz per child' BEFORE any firm plans were made!

Also I don’t know where people are getting that the father will be supervising all 6 teenagers. I can’t see that in the OP. For all we know they are all doing their own thing all day.

What about everything else?

Flights/transfers
Food including lunches and drinks
Ski hire
Boot hire
Helmet hire
Ski lessons
Assuming you are providing insurance and spending money

I would not hesitate to ask for an itemised breakdown of costs.

Yes Im afraid people do sometimes try to sneak additional costs in to their own advantage. Some time back I made a verbal agreement with my NDN to share costs for a new fence. She undertook to get the costings and I told her up front that I would need to see sight of intemised receipts with VAT on a letterhead. I knew she was thinking of having more work done and was determined I was only covering half of the actual cost of the fence. Well she hired a gang of cash in hand cowboys and they put in a patio for her as well as the fence. The resulting fence was made from odd recycled panels and looked like something from the third world. And of course there were no invoices so I refused to pay until I saw some official paperwork. Ended by having my own fence put in alongside.

I'd cover the cost of food and accomodation if one of my kids' friends came along but would probably ask them to pay their own travel, and for their own kit if skiing.

It genuinely looks to me like the host family is taking the piss here. If it's £1600 just for a (shared) room and lift pass, with everything else on top, then that's a LOT.

Sounds to me that this family wanted a ski holiday they can't afford and decided to save on accommodation costs by shoving in 4 more kids into the apartment and instead of paying full price pay just a fraction. They should still be covering half as there is 4 of them, but they seem to count every kid who is not their family as an entire separate family - which just confirms that they are looking at the extra kids as extra wallets and not people.
I would absolutely not be sending my child with them, and the money reason wouldn't even be the first on the list. I would be really worried if they will supervise properly. It is a dangerous sport and these people didn't include your kids because they like them or because they want to include them, but simply because they needed you to chip in with money. Horrible.

There are some quite extreme extrapolations taking place on this thread.

The only way to get to the bottom of it is to politely ask what the money is paying for and how it's been calculated.

But this is’t a school ski trip where they are staying in some crappy dorm somewhere. It’s a family skip trip.

Including flights I always budget around £2k per person for our family of 4. So £1,600 without flights sounds reasonable.

Having spent years skiing with kids in the holidays I think the total cost is probably about right. I would ask politely what is included so you know what else you might need to pay for. Then decide what you think. Food on the mountain is usually eye wateringly expensive. I used to give my teens about 40 euros each a day to feed themselves and we still provided a big meal every night.

Also, so she can work out how expensive the trip is and whether it is good value. It's a lot of money to spend without understanding what is being paid for.

If I was inviting DC friends on a holiday I would pay for it. I have done this several times, albeit not skiing.