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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Ski trip cost- are we subsidizing “host “ family

384 replies

Moknicker · 05/12/2025 02:58

Wanted to get a sense check on how a family has asked us to split costs for an upcoming ski trip

  • One family (2 adults + 2 kids) is going on the trip.
  • Four additional children (each from separate families) were invited to join. Our child is one of these - is friends with younger child. Kids are 17 and 15 year olds
  • Total people on the trip: 8
  • 4 from the host family.
  • 4 individual children

Shared costs:

  • Accommodation: 4k total
  • Ski lift pass: 7 at 300 each = 2100 ( mum is not skiing)
  • Total cost: 6100

The host family just told us the cost is 1640 for our son. I asked for the breakdown( we were only given total figure). It looks like they have added up the costs and divided by 5

Aibu to say this is not fair and our cost is around 1050( accommodation divided by 8 and we pay 300 for ski lift ) and we and the other kids should not be subsidizing the “host” family? And if we are then they should have told us beforehand?

Travel costs and other costs are covered individually.

OP posts:
blastfurnace · 05/12/2025 12:12

elastamum · 05/12/2025 11:59

Having spent years skiing with kids in the holidays I think the total cost is probably about right. I would ask politely what is included so you know what else you might need to pay for. Then decide what you think. Food on the mountain is usually eye wateringly expensive. I used to give my teens about 40 euros each a day to feed themselves and we still provided a big meal every night.

It might be about right as the full cost of a skiing trip, but basic maths tells you it's not about right as a 1/8th share of a £4000 chalet and a £300 lift pass, which is what OP thinks she's paying for

mummybearSW19 · 05/12/2025 12:22

Surely must be a typo?

Overall £££ sounds right if that covers food / travel etc but if your child is sharing accommodation costs then your share is only £500 ie 4,000 divided by 8. Plus your lift pass. Total £800

tbh I would not want my 15yo going on a ski trip with so few adults. Only 1 adult on the mountain? are they getting a ski guide or doing lessons?
And why an extra 4 kids? 2 friends each?

if they are all excellent skiers then I’m sure it will be great. At least for the right price.

BaalSatanas · 05/12/2025 12:45

Does OP think that on school trips the teachers pay to go or the kids all contribute?

MikeRafone · 05/12/2025 12:48

nomas · 05/12/2025 03:04

YANBU, accomodation should be no more than £500 each. It sounds like they’re taking the piss.

What is the bedroom split?

Does the total £1640 including all food and drink?

this?

Needspaceforlego · 05/12/2025 12:52

BaalSatanas · 05/12/2025 12:45

Does OP think that on school trips the teachers pay to go or the kids all contribute?

Its not comparable to a school trip. School trips its one adult to about 10 kids.
This is one adult to 3 kids

TheRealMagic · 05/12/2025 13:08

Changingplace · 05/12/2025 10:21

People thinking they need to ‘ask delicately’ is what causes misunderstandings and confusion.

In this case they pretty much are providing a service by booking the holiday, OP has every right to simply ask directly what she’s paying for and how it’s been worked out.

Sorting out finances isn’t the time for pussy footing it about, things get sorted much easier if direct questions are asked.

Jumping to pulling out is really passive aggressive, and is just going to cause more issues, there’s nothing wrong with asking a simple question.

Edited
Show quote history

You can communicate how you like, but I would be really offended to get a message that sounds like a business transaction and/or that you're accusing them of ripping you off in this situation. And I wouldn't want to send my child on holiday with someone I'd offended.

ISpyNoPlumPie · 05/12/2025 13:13

BaalSatanas · 05/12/2025 12:45

Does OP think that on school trips the teachers pay to go or the kids all contribute?

Silly comparison. The teacher is there on a school trip as part of their job. They shouldn’t have to pay. Sadly parenting is unpaid. The friend’s parents are acting as PARENTS, not teachers, not instructors, not nannies, but parents.

Edited for error.

Needspaceforlego · 05/12/2025 13:13

TheRealMagic · 05/12/2025 13:08

You can communicate how you like, but I would be really offended to get a message that sounds like a business transaction and/or that you're accusing them of ripping you off in this situation. And I wouldn't want to send my child on holiday with someone I'd offended.

Show quote history

I auppose it also depends what stage Op is at if the family have said this is the cost plus flghts then fine - take it or leave it.

If flights have been booked and the accommodation costs have doubled from first discussed then Op is right to ask questuons.

BaalSatanas · 05/12/2025 13:24

ISpyNoPlumPie · 05/12/2025 13:13

Silly comparison. The teacher is there on a school trip as part of their job. They shouldn’t have to pay. Sadly parenting is unpaid. The friend’s parents are acting as PARENTS, not teachers, not instructors, not nannies, but parents.

Edited for error.

Edited
Show quote history

My post probably didn’t come across as intended. My point is by making the kids pay for the adult parents, they’re acting like teachers. It’s a business transaction where they get the kids friends to pay for their holiday.

They are taking the piss and should have outlined the terms and cost right at the start if they wanted to play it like this.

If I was the parent I would paying for the accomodation etc. for everyone and maybe only ask the kids to pay for their own ski tickets. but that’s me.

nicepotoftea · 05/12/2025 13:29

TheRealMagic · 05/12/2025 13:08

You can communicate how you like, but I would be really offended to get a message that sounds like a business transaction and/or that you're accusing them of ripping you off in this situation. And I wouldn't want to send my child on holiday with someone I'd offended.

Show quote history

I might be offended if I was asking somebody to contribute £50, but £1,640 is a lot of money for most people.

Mangelwurzelfortea · 05/12/2025 13:35

You don't need to phrase it awkwardly at all. 'Can you just clarify what the £1645 is covering so I know how much extra money Timmy will need to bring along with him?'

And then if they say 'oh that's just for his room and ski pass' you will know they're massively taking the piss.

Original poster
Moknicker · 05/12/2025 13:41

Thanks for all your inputs.

When the trip was first planned, host family asked us to pay for all our DC's costs which seems fair for a ski trip as its expensive. To put in context, we have taken their DC on holiday and paid for acco and all costs except flights. But as I said we agreed to all DC costs for this one.

The accomodation is a 3 bed. Parents have one bed, older DC and friends have one and my DC and friends have one i.e 3 DC per room.

All ski rentals and food bought outside to be paid by DC. My DC has a card. The host family will do dinner when they eat at home. This is a 4 day trip. They are hiring a 7 seater car. They havent mentioned that so maybe that is being covered.

DC and friends are good skiers. Dont know about older kids but presume they are as well. The mum is not skiing as she has a knee injury. We have paid for insurance.

We are friendly with this family but not friends. This is the first time they are taking my DC on a trip so not had any financial dealings with them beforehand.

OP posts:
Mangelwurzelfortea · 05/12/2025 13:47

Yes then, it sounds like you are subsidising their trip. They obviously took 'agreeing to all DC's costs' as a green light to charge what they wanted.

ISpyNoPlumPie · 05/12/2025 13:47

Moknicker · 05/12/2025 13:41

Thanks for all your inputs.

When the trip was first planned, host family asked us to pay for all our DC's costs which seems fair for a ski trip as its expensive. To put in context, we have taken their DC on holiday and paid for acco and all costs except flights. But as I said we agreed to all DC costs for this one.

The accomodation is a 3 bed. Parents have one bed, older DC and friends have one and my DC and friends have one i.e 3 DC per room.

All ski rentals and food bought outside to be paid by DC. My DC has a card. The host family will do dinner when they eat at home. This is a 4 day trip. They are hiring a 7 seater car. They havent mentioned that so maybe that is being covered.

DC and friends are good skiers. Dont know about older kids but presume they are as well. The mum is not skiing as she has a knee injury. We have paid for insurance.

We are friendly with this family but not friends. This is the first time they are taking my DC on a trip so not had any financial dealings with them beforehand.

Edited

Thank you for coming back OP and putting us all out of our misery!

Yes they are completely taking the piss. £1640 for a £300 ski pass and a third of one of three bedrooms. Maybe car hire too. They are 100% funding their trip using their kids friends. No need to clarify, just a “that’s more than we expected, Timmy can’t come”.

Changingplace · 05/12/2025 13:47

Moknicker · 05/12/2025 13:41

Thanks for all your inputs.

When the trip was first planned, host family asked us to pay for all our DC's costs which seems fair for a ski trip as its expensive. To put in context, we have taken their DC on holiday and paid for acco and all costs except flights. But as I said we agreed to all DC costs for this one.

The accomodation is a 3 bed. Parents have one bed, older DC and friends have one and my DC and friends have one i.e 3 DC per room.

All ski rentals and food bought outside to be paid by DC. My DC has a card. The host family will do dinner when they eat at home. This is a 4 day trip. They are hiring a 7 seater car. They havent mentioned that so maybe that is being covered.

DC and friends are good skiers. Dont know about older kids but presume they are as well. The mum is not skiing as she has a knee injury. We have paid for insurance.

We are friendly with this family but not friends. This is the first time they are taking my DC on a trip so not had any financial dealings with them beforehand.

Edited

Can you explain how you’ve calculated your take on what the costs should be?

Mangelwurzelfortea · 05/12/2025 13:49

Yep, considering that you're going to have to add at least another £3/400 to that for ski hire and sundries, it would be a no from me unless you're happy to fork that out. Which the parents are banking that you will be.

Mydadsbirthday · 05/12/2025 13:49

£1600 for a 4 day trip and 3 to a room, not including ski hire and food etc is a LOT.

blastfurnace · 05/12/2025 13:49

Moknicker · 05/12/2025 13:41

Thanks for all your inputs.

When the trip was first planned, host family asked us to pay for all our DC's costs which seems fair for a ski trip as its expensive. To put in context, we have taken their DC on holiday and paid for acco and all costs except flights. But as I said we agreed to all DC costs for this one.

The accomodation is a 3 bed. Parents have one bed, older DC and friends have one and my DC and friends have one i.e 3 DC per room.

All ski rentals and food bought outside to be paid by DC. My DC has a card. The host family will do dinner when they eat at home. This is a 4 day trip. They are hiring a 7 seater car. They havent mentioned that so maybe that is being covered.

DC and friends are good skiers. Dont know about older kids but presume they are as well. The mum is not skiing as she has a knee injury. We have paid for insurance.

We are friendly with this family but not friends. This is the first time they are taking my DC on a trip so not had any financial dealings with them beforehand.

Edited

How do you know the cost of the accommodation - did they share that or are you assuming it's £4k?

Is the car just for the transfer or are they driving the whole way (either way how are 8 people fitting into a 7 seater, are they taking a second car?)

nicepotoftea · 05/12/2025 13:52

Mydadsbirthday · 05/12/2025 13:49

£1600 for a 4 day trip and 3 to a room, not including ski hire and food etc is a LOT.

Don't they also have to pay for transport?

So it's over £2,000 for a 4 day trip?

Mangelwurzelfortea · 05/12/2025 13:55

nicepotoftea · 05/12/2025 13:52

Don't they also have to pay for transport?

So it's over £2,000 for a 4 day trip?

Show quote history

And any food eaten on the mountains, and ski hire, and insurance.

Also - why are they even up for doing this seeing as only one of the adults can actually ski?!

KetchUpWithEverythingPls · 05/12/2025 13:56

They are hiring a 7 seater car. They havent mentioned that so maybe that is being covered.

for 8 people with luggage?

Workingwell · 05/12/2025 13:58

KetchUpWithEverythingPls · 05/12/2025 13:56

They are hiring a 7 seater car. They havent mentioned that so maybe that is being covered.

for 8 people with luggage?

Yes, I was wondering about that too. How can they all fit in safely?

honeylulu · 05/12/2025 14:02

I think it sounds too much even factoring partial food costs and a share of car hire. But there may be things you haven't thought of and it's also not clear how many meals are covered (host family might be doing breakfast and evening meal every day or maybe just breakfast and a couple of evening meals so you need to know what to provide for extra food costs anyway).

Ask what it covers giving the reason that you need to work out what your child needs for spending money. If it still seems a rip off you can take a view.

I personally wouldn't mind them factoring in a modest subsidy since it's good of them to host and keep an eye on the other kids, I'm not sure i would want to! But I would not want to be ripped off either.

BeanMachine · 05/12/2025 14:02

I’m also surprised at the ski pass cost of £300 for 4 days: for example, a 4-day all area lift pass for 3 Vallees is about €270 this season. And that’s at the pricey end of things.

Radiatorvalves · 05/12/2025 14:04

That sounds crazy for a 4 day trip. We’ve taken DCs friends skiing a few times - difference being we own our place and if there’s space in the car, we take them and don’t charge petrol or Chunnel as we’re paying that for ourselves.

friends need to pay for:

  1. Passes (c€40/ day where we are)
  2. Lunches out. Although we usually take sandwiches.
  3. all hire kit.
  4. pocket money / beers (they are now all over 18 but have previously taken 15/16 yo).

Im the chalet girl 😆 and happy to be as long as guests help with washing up.

Back to OP, fair enough you pay for DC accomm, but frankly they do seem to be overdoing it from a subsidy perspective!