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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Ski trip cost- are we subsidizing “host “ family

384 replies

Moknicker · 05/12/2025 02:58

Wanted to get a sense check on how a family has asked us to split costs for an upcoming ski trip

  • One family (2 adults + 2 kids) is going on the trip.
  • Four additional children (each from separate families) were invited to join. Our child is one of these - is friends with younger child. Kids are 17 and 15 year olds
  • Total people on the trip: 8
  • 4 from the host family.
  • 4 individual children

Shared costs:

  • Accommodation: 4k total
  • Ski lift pass: 7 at 300 each = 2100 ( mum is not skiing)
  • Total cost: 6100

The host family just told us the cost is 1640 for our son. I asked for the breakdown( we were only given total figure). It looks like they have added up the costs and divided by 5

Aibu to say this is not fair and our cost is around 1050( accommodation divided by 8 and we pay 300 for ski lift ) and we and the other kids should not be subsidizing the “host” family? And if we are then they should have told us beforehand?

Travel costs and other costs are covered individually.

OP posts:
Schoogle · 07/12/2025 07:49

What a shame for their kids, this is actually really sad. They could have had such a great time and made some great memories over it.

Glittertwins · 07/12/2025 09:22

So, they were expecting you (and other invitees) to pay for their accommodation at the very least? Unbelievable…I’d be having nothing more to do with them at all if this is how they treat ‘friends’.

Piknik · 07/12/2025 09:23

It sounds like they have been using other people's kids and kindness to basically cover their own travels and trips for a while. It's almost.... ALMOST.... like a professional scam. Seriously, when you think about it, it's calculated, misleading and designed to sort of embarrass you into paying - much like a con.

Well done for pulling out. I would honestly speak to the other parents now and lay it out for them, not in a dramatic or manipulative way but along the lines of a text: "to save gossip, speculation or mis-information by the host family, the reason we have pulled out of the trip is XXXX. Having spoken to another friend, it seems this is standard practice for them and we felt misled and slightly conned". I really would. Firstly to prevent the hosts for making something else up about whey you pulled out, secondly because the other families should be aware and lastly because host family will no doubt try and pass your financial deficit onto them.

CF of the year award. No question.

nicepotoftea · 07/12/2025 10:40

Moknicker · 06/12/2025 13:37

I texted the mum and she confirmed that the costs for acco and ski passes are split by 5 "families". When I asked how that was fair she replied it was "morally fair" and used some of the arguments in the thread that they were looking after our kids and it was a lot of risk etc.

I then called up my friend Rachel. For context Rachel's DH - Richard and host dad went to school together so go way back. Rachel's son Oliver is very good friends with the host son. Oliver is not going on the trip and i remember being a little surprised by that.

It turns out that host family pulled a similar thing on a summer camping trip with Oliver and another kid in the friend group. Rachel didn't realise what was going on just that the costs seemed to be really high - not as high as this obviously but enough to make them uncomfortable. Oliver was invited on the ski trip but they declined. Richard then called to apologise for not raising this with me when they knew my son was going on the trip. He's advised me to pull out of the trip and I have.

The host family has not responded as yet.

Edited

When I asked how that was fair she replied it was "morally fair" and used some of the arguments in the thread that they were looking after our kids and it was a lot of risk etc

These arguments only apply if the cost split is made clear up front.

Swiftie1878 · 07/12/2025 11:44

Notonthestairs · 06/12/2025 16:40

Wow. Must hold up my hands and say I called that wrong.
I was fully expecting that total to cover everything and they had just failed to explain that it was a grand total of food/transport/ski hire etc, not just accomodation and ski passes.
Genuinely hadn't occurred to me that the host family would try to pass on additional costs to the boys accompanying them.

Same! Well done, OP. Your spidey senses were spot on, and you’ve done the right thing to pull out. Just make sure you let the other families know too!

NetZeroZealot · 07/12/2025 12:19

I don’t often wish the press would pick up a MN thread but in this case I do!

ChavsAreReal · 07/12/2025 12:24

Wow they've got a full blown scam going!

Blondeshavemorefun · 07/12/2025 13:07

But even split by 5 it’s still not the amount she wanted

Daleksatemyshed · 07/12/2025 13:08

It's a shame Richard didn't mention his concerns to you sooner, it would have tipped you off and you wouldn't have agreed to your DC going. Do let the other parents know if you can Op, don't do what Richard did!

Izzywizzy85 · 07/12/2025 13:14

cheeky! Good on you for saying no.

Peclet · 07/12/2025 14:44

He been waiting for this today! The cheek of them. Well done for pulling out.

Whywhywhyyyy · 07/12/2025 16:51

Ouch yes that is expensive. We are staying in a 5* for 4 nights with half board 5 course dinner, and lovely breakfast, full spa, travel and transfers, ski pass and hire for not far off that. 3.5k

PrincessOfPreschool · 07/12/2025 17:06

Calliopespa · 06/12/2025 18:19

That's what I was thinking - I couldn't think of anything worse. When everyone was discussing the 7 seater that takes 8 I was thinking just imagine all those seats full of teens that aren't even yours!

Show quote history

Totally agree. When I first read the OP, I thought: how brave, kind and generous to take so many kids on holiday (even if they are charging costs)! I can't believe it's a known scam they pull!

And fancy charging for a camping trip? They cost so little anyway. Did they charge 100s for buying a tent which they will then use in the future?

Calliopespa · 07/12/2025 17:19

PrincessOfPreschool · 07/12/2025 17:06

Totally agree. When I first read the OP, I thought: how brave, kind and generous to take so many kids on holiday (even if they are charging costs)! I can't believe it's a known scam they pull!

And fancy charging for a camping trip? They cost so little anyway. Did they charge 100s for buying a tent which they will then use in the future?

Show quote history

When I first read the OP, I thought: how brave, kind and generous to take so many kids on holiday
😂 And well you might have thought that!

It is really horrifying. I know people pull one over others all the time, but to do it via your own children's friends seems appalling!

Joe7t8 · 08/12/2025 09:24

Have to appologise, OP. I read your first post a couple of days ago and thought, £1640 sounded ok for a ski holiday with 7 nights half-board plus lift pass. In haste, I voted YABU initially and would bet that a high proportion of the other 11% that did made a similar error. However, having read through the various updates discovering that this didn't include transport and was only for 4 nights of your child having to squeeze into a room for 3 then I'd have to say that that is very expensive, and I'd have pulled out on that basis alone.

The justification from them is laughable. Splitting the total cost by 5 families when their family has four people (two of whom get the best sleeping arrangements) and the other 4 'families' are actually one child each? Deary me.

Mangelwurzelfortea · 08/12/2025 09:58

The sheer brass neck of some people never ceases to amaze me.

Mangelwurzelfortea · 08/12/2025 09:59

I really want to know now - although I guess we never will - whether CF host family have now bumped up the costs for the other two kids - sorry, 'families' - that are still attending the trip.

dutchyoriginal · 08/12/2025 10:14

Moknicker · 06/12/2025 13:37

I texted the mum and she confirmed that the costs for acco and ski passes are split by 5 "families". When I asked how that was fair she replied it was "morally fair" and used some of the arguments in the thread that they were looking after our kids and it was a lot of risk etc.

I then called up my friend Rachel. For context Rachel's DH - Richard and host dad went to school together so go way back. Rachel's son Oliver is very good friends with the host son. Oliver is not going on the trip and i remember being a little surprised by that.

It turns out that host family pulled a similar thing on a summer camping trip with Oliver and another kid in the friend group. Rachel didn't realise what was going on just that the costs seemed to be really high - not as high as this obviously but enough to make them uncomfortable. Oliver was invited on the ski trip but they declined. Richard then called to apologise for not raising this with me when they knew my son was going on the trip. He's advised me to pull out of the trip and I have.

The host family has not responded as yet.

Edited

You are absolutely right to pull out. If all the guests pay the same (4*1640), that is even higher than the total cost for the family!

Needspaceforlego · 08/12/2025 10:21

Mangelwurzelfortea · 08/12/2025 09:59

I really want to know now - although I guess we never will - whether CF host family have now bumped up the costs for the other two kids - sorry, 'families' - that are still attending the trip.

It wouldn't surprise me if they also question the cost and pull out before long

Dunderheided · 08/12/2025 12:54

So:

4 families comprising one child
1 family comprising two adults and one child
= 5 families!!

I am gobsmacked at the brazen cheekyfuckery!!

What do these people do for a living?? Work for ScamsRUs?

Ripping people off, getting free companions for their children and accruing social capital while they’re at it.

I don’t believe in karma but I wish it existed!

gogomomo2 · 08/12/2025 13:09

What a cheek, well done for calling this out and not just paying to keep the peace. A warning to all either hosting or accepting holidays with another family, even hen weekends, get a breakdown before you commit, saves all the problems later

wfhwfh · 08/12/2025 13:23

Will you please update us when “Host mum” gets back?

Im so curious as to what she will do - will she try and pass on even higher cost to the other families? Really really crazy that a 2 adults (ie host mum and dad) would try to do this to 4 x other families.

Collaborate · 08/12/2025 18:13

Crikey - the 4 friends would be paying for the accommodation in full together with £1360 for the car hire (I doubt it's even that much) and £300 for their ski passes. The parents are getting a free holiday and free car hire. What a nerve.

Trueloveneverdies · 08/12/2025 21:49

Any update OP?

mummybearSW19 · 11/12/2025 01:32

Hi OP, trust your son is ok and has understood the situation? His poor friend. When he realises. Cheeky Feckers.