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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Ski trip cost- are we subsidizing “host “ family

384 replies

Moknicker · 05/12/2025 02:58

Wanted to get a sense check on how a family has asked us to split costs for an upcoming ski trip

  • One family (2 adults + 2 kids) is going on the trip.
  • Four additional children (each from separate families) were invited to join. Our child is one of these - is friends with younger child. Kids are 17 and 15 year olds
  • Total people on the trip: 8
  • 4 from the host family.
  • 4 individual children

Shared costs:

  • Accommodation: 4k total
  • Ski lift pass: 7 at 300 each = 2100 ( mum is not skiing)
  • Total cost: 6100

The host family just told us the cost is 1640 for our son. I asked for the breakdown( we were only given total figure). It looks like they have added up the costs and divided by 5

Aibu to say this is not fair and our cost is around 1050( accommodation divided by 8 and we pay 300 for ski lift ) and we and the other kids should not be subsidizing the “host” family? And if we are then they should have told us beforehand?

Travel costs and other costs are covered individually.

OP posts:
Mydadsbirthday · 05/12/2025 07:57

I think you need more info. Also, I wouldn't be allowing my teen to ski with 5 other teens supervised only by one skiing adult. Are they very good skiers or are they going to be with an instructor?

CautiousLurker2 · 05/12/2025 07:57

Whilst you’ll be paying for the flights, does their quote include the transfer from the airport (that was quite steep when my DH took the kids last year - and you would be looking at a mini bus for 8 passengers and gear?) plus food/drinks at £30-40 a day (DH also found most of the restaurants exorbitant the last few times he took them, as my youngest is 6ft 3 and won’t just have a sandwich or a kids meal anymore), then there is the end of tenancy chalet cleaning charge, another way for the rental company to fleece clients.

Like other PP’s suggest, I would just as for a break down of what is included in that total so that you can see what you are paying for. You can say you need to know so that you can work out what all the additional costs might be.

I’d also, then, think hard about whether I want to ruin this relationship for my DS even if it turns out you might be overpaying a little. The parents are taking on the legal responsibility for your child when they are there and he is getting an awesome trip with his mates. Is that worth quibbling over £2-300?

blastfurnace · 05/12/2025 07:58

WhatWouldTheDoctorDo · 05/12/2025 07:52

is the £4K accomodation cost definitely for 8 of them? When DS and friends were taken away by his friend’s parents they were in two different apartments. Funnily enough, the cost aside, it was an almost identical situation, including the ages and non-skiing mum!

I’d politely ask for a bit more of a break down of costs and what the amount includes, explain that it’s a bit more than you thought it’d be based on info shared but maybe it’s covering some costs you hadn’t included.

Edited

Even if it were £4000k just for the guests + a lift pass that’s £1300 each not £1640.

ThejoyofNC · 05/12/2025 08:00

"Hi, can you send me a breakdown of the cost please as it's significantly different to what I was expecting based on the quotes you gave for accommodation and ski lift?"

Needspaceforlego · 05/12/2025 08:05

ThejoyofNC · 05/12/2025 08:00

"Hi, can you send me a breakdown of the cost please as it's significantly different to what I was expecting based on the quotes you gave for accommodation and ski lift?"

I like that reply. Then you can make an informed choice.

I would still have concerns over ski abilities and stuff but asking politely for the cost break down isnt a bad idea

ony123 · 05/12/2025 08:08

Are there 2 other children from the same family going? I wonder if you were just sent the amount for 2 children, rather than 1.

ForPlumReader · 05/12/2025 08:09

Firstly, I think that it is very good of anyone to offer to take additional children on a ski holiday. I might do it for a beach holiday but definitely wouldn't want the responsibility of others on a ski holiday. I doubt anyone willing to do that is out to fleece you.

Secondly, ski holidays are really expensive so I would assume that there are things they have not included in the breakdown - ski hire, lessons, lunch, drinks, transport etc.

blastfurnace · 05/12/2025 08:09

My guess here is that OP has been sent details of the accommodation so knows how much that is costing, has looked up the cost of a lift pass, booked their own flights and is expecting to send spending money.

I’m guessing she is not thinking about transfers, equipment hire and lessons which, when added onto a fair split of the accommodation + lift pass, could easily add up to the figure quoted.

NetZeroZealot · 05/12/2025 08:12

The lift passes sound cheap.
You will also need to budget €20 a day for lunch on the slopes, unless they are planning to take a packed lunch. Skiing had become very expensive!

KentishMama · 05/12/2025 08:13

I would check that else they included. Probably ski hire and food?

Swiftie1878 · 05/12/2025 08:14

What about gear hire, ski school?, food (whilst travelling and in resort), hot chocolates on the slopes etc?
The tone of your post is vile. You’re accusing people/friends(?) of, basically, fraud, when they are offering to take your child on holiday and supervise them in a high risk sport.

ShamedBySiri · 05/12/2025 08:21

Was there no discussion of costs before this? It seems odd to go from “Would Johnny like to join us?” to “Here’s your bill” without discussion in between.

What sort of accommodation is it? Is it a chalet or hotel on half board or what?

As pp have said there are lots of extra costs associated with a skiing trip. Lunch on the slopes is a big one not to mention après ski drinks and entertainment. How are they going to calculate that?
It will be very expensive for the host family to pay for everything but a bit toe curling if they do the maths and demand contribution at each meal.

FWIW DD’s best friend’s parents invited her to go to the Seychelles with them for New Year a couple of years ago. They only asked for money for her flight. I sent DD with extra money and told her to pay for some meals but the hotel was all inclusive so she didn’t pay for any extras. Obviously I sent a big present. Friend has been on holiday with us…to Cornwall 😅 every year for about the last five years. Obviously I wouldn’t dream of asking for a contribution to cottage rental and I pay for all meals out and any other expenses eg tickets to Minack open air theatre. Now they drive they take themselves out sometimes or buy some extra wine. We’d probably eat out less if there were four extra hungry teens to pay for.

Bestfootforward11 · 05/12/2025 08:25

Their proposed cost makes little sense. The only thing I can think of re where the 5 might have come from is 5 households contributing ie theirs + the parents of the other 4 kids going. But this would be unfair as they are a family 4 who will be on the trip. Maybe there is something else to their reasoning, I don’t think it is unreasonable to ask so you can understand as if it includes things not obvious it would impact whatever else you might give your child to take. Maybe you could frame it like that? X

jellybellyready · 05/12/2025 08:26

4k / 8 = £500 + £300 = £800.

A few quid more for transfers etc and I would expect to send my own child with money for their food.

Although I do think if someone offers to take your child away then they should cover some of the costs such as lunch, drinks etc.
I personally wouldn't invite someone else's child away with us if I wasn't prepared to cover things like food for them when away.

fruitbrewhaha · 05/12/2025 08:32

Hi, I make that £500 for accommodation plus lift pass totals £800.

Send that. Are they adding lessons, ski hire? That could be another few hundred pounds. Food package at the accommodation? Is it a chalet or self catering?

jellybellyready · 05/12/2025 08:34

ShamedBySiri · 05/12/2025 08:21

Was there no discussion of costs before this? It seems odd to go from “Would Johnny like to join us?” to “Here’s your bill” without discussion in between.

What sort of accommodation is it? Is it a chalet or hotel on half board or what?

As pp have said there are lots of extra costs associated with a skiing trip. Lunch on the slopes is a big one not to mention après ski drinks and entertainment. How are they going to calculate that?
It will be very expensive for the host family to pay for everything but a bit toe curling if they do the maths and demand contribution at each meal.

FWIW DD’s best friend’s parents invited her to go to the Seychelles with them for New Year a couple of years ago. They only asked for money for her flight. I sent DD with extra money and told her to pay for some meals but the hotel was all inclusive so she didn’t pay for any extras. Obviously I sent a big present. Friend has been on holiday with us…to Cornwall 😅 every year for about the last five years. Obviously I wouldn’t dream of asking for a contribution to cottage rental and I pay for all meals out and any other expenses eg tickets to Minack open air theatre. Now they drive they take themselves out sometimes or buy some extra wine. We’d probably eat out less if there were four extra hungry teens to pay for.

Same has happened with us.
Our daughter went on holiday with her friend to their villa, we paid flights and they covered her food while there (didn't eat out every day and most lunches was a roll etc).
Instead of taking her friend away she always comes out on big days out with us, which her parents dont do. We cover all costs for theme park tickets, food, drink for the day and we do things like this multiple times a year so it works out.

fruitbrewhaha · 05/12/2025 08:35

Swiftie1878 · 05/12/2025 08:14

What about gear hire, ski school?, food (whilst travelling and in resort), hot chocolates on the slopes etc?
The tone of your post is vile. You’re accusing people/friends(?) of, basically, fraud, when they are offering to take your child on holiday and supervise them in a high risk sport.

Vile? Not really.

whitewinefriday · 05/12/2025 08:36

I think we, and the OP, need a lot more information before we can comment sensibly

Swiftie1878 · 05/12/2025 08:39

fruitbrewhaha · 05/12/2025 08:35

Vile? Not really.

Show quote history

I find it vile. If a friend cast aspersions on my character like that, they wouldn’t be a friend any longer, and I certainly wouldn’t be taking their child on a wonderful ski trip.

Vdlormp · 05/12/2025 08:45

I agree with pp that this struck me as pretty vile. Either you want to take them up on their offer and can afford it or you don’t/can’t. They don’t need to take your child and your child doesn’t have to go. If there is that level of distrust, they probably shouldn’t.

That said, I think it’s reasonable to clarify whether you should be budgeting extra for flights/transfers/food/ski hire etc and what spending money they recommend. If there is a significant extra cost for these and you don’t want to or can’t pay, then politely decline.

friskybivalves · 05/12/2025 08:46

Depending on the resort, £4k for accommodation for eight people in - I’m assuming - school holidays sounds very good value. Are you sure you’re not underestimating what your share of that would be for a start?

Needspaceforlego · 05/12/2025 08:46

ForPlumReader · 05/12/2025 08:09

Firstly, I think that it is very good of anyone to offer to take additional children on a ski holiday. I might do it for a beach holiday but definitely wouldn't want the responsibility of others on a ski holiday. I doubt anyone willing to do that is out to fleece you.

Secondly, ski holidays are really expensive so I would assume that there are things they have not included in the breakdown - ski hire, lessons, lunch, drinks, transport etc.

Edited

Actually I think a ski holiday is possibly less stressful than a beach holiday.
Beach holiday you always have a risk of kids going out too far, Loosing sight of heads in water.
There is always the risk of burning, missing bits with sunscreen.

Skiing there is more risk of injury but not death / drowning.

HelmholtzWatson · 05/12/2025 08:47

ThejoyofNC · 05/12/2025 08:00

"Hi, can you send me a breakdown of the cost please as it's significantly different to what I was expecting based on the quotes you gave for accommodation and ski lift?"

Or you could just stop here, so it sounds less accusatory.

"Hi, can you send me a breakdown of the cost please?"

Crazybigtoe · 05/12/2025 08:49

I would be thrilled if one of my children was invited on a ski holiday with another family 🙂

I'm guessing your child is an experienced skier as having 6 beginner / not confident / bravado laden teens would be too much for 1 adult to 'supervise' outside of lessons....

So this means you know how much this should cost. I'm guessing you are shocked at £2k price tag (when adding flights) as your family trip isn't that much. The accommodation and transfers for a large group are higher than a family of say 4. The family probably also don't want to be massively out of pocket and fuss around with 'you owe £6 for a hot chocolate '.

Ask them. I doubt they would be doing it for a profit or as a way of subsidising their own trip. You could couch it like:

'thanks for the this .. what does that include? Wondering how you were thinking of doing food etc evening meals for 8 will be something else- might get xXX to practise cooking for all of us one night in preparation 😁. Oh and transfers and ski hire? Please let me know how that works or if there is something I can look into. I really appreciate you taking them. Want to make sure you aren't out of pocket so keen to understand what is / isn't in the amount. '

Peclet · 05/12/2025 08:52

Your maths isn’t mathing there

also need mores information!