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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Ski trip cost- are we subsidizing “host “ family

384 replies

Moknicker · 05/12/2025 02:58

Wanted to get a sense check on how a family has asked us to split costs for an upcoming ski trip

  • One family (2 adults + 2 kids) is going on the trip.
  • Four additional children (each from separate families) were invited to join. Our child is one of these - is friends with younger child. Kids are 17 and 15 year olds
  • Total people on the trip: 8
  • 4 from the host family.
  • 4 individual children

Shared costs:

  • Accommodation: 4k total
  • Ski lift pass: 7 at 300 each = 2100 ( mum is not skiing)
  • Total cost: 6100

The host family just told us the cost is 1640 for our son. I asked for the breakdown( we were only given total figure). It looks like they have added up the costs and divided by 5

Aibu to say this is not fair and our cost is around 1050( accommodation divided by 8 and we pay 300 for ski lift ) and we and the other kids should not be subsidizing the “host” family? And if we are then they should have told us beforehand?

Travel costs and other costs are covered individually.

OP posts:
Bitzee · 05/12/2025 07:11

I don’t understand how they’ve worked that out at all. The maths make no sense.

But is it possible you’ve got the lift pass costs wrong though? I just did ours for the week after next and they were €450 for over 12s for a week and then another €3.50 per day for the carre neige insurance. Even if you’re at a cheaper resort could you be confusing euros and pounds or something which would explain the seemingly random number they’ve given you? And I know you say other costs paid for separately but are you sure there’s nothing else joint? Shared transfer, some communal snacks for the accommodation etc.?

I would ask them for a break down and go from there.

HelmholtzWatson · 05/12/2025 07:13

ProfessionalPirate · 05/12/2025 07:08

Yes but that doesn’t seem to be what’s happening here. The OP asked for a breakdown and no mention was made of additional food costs within the £1.6k. OP will be expecting to pay extra again for that.

Show quote history

We don't know what's happening here, hence the request for clarification from OP. However, there will need to be a food budget, it will be expensive and it I were organising I'd want the money up front.

MyDeftDuck · 05/12/2025 07:13

If all four individual children are paying the same as you’ve been quoted…….£1640 x 4 …..that equals £6560! In that scenario it looks like someone’s on the make!
I would want to see invoices, full breakdown of all costs and details of who is expected to pay for what!

TokyoSushi · 05/12/2025 07:15

If it’s literally just for ski passes and accommodation then it’s clearly wrong, does it include food maybe?

(Also the thought of taking 6 teenagers skiing 🫣🫣🫣)

oneinataxioneinacar · 05/12/2025 07:16

It does sound scammy! Am tempted to try it myself Grin

I wonder if they are calculating their costs should be covered as they are looking after all the kids? But they should have been up front about that.

Who is paying for all the meals? And who is cooking them? If the mum is cooking/cleaner etc for the week then I can see it is probably fair her costs are covered

What about ski hire?

oneinataxioneinacar · 05/12/2025 07:19

And how are they doing airport transfers? Hiring a car? Paying for taxis?

I think I would definitely question this but I would approach it carefully till I had the full picture

oneinataxioneinacar · 05/12/2025 07:21

Actually thinking about it if mum is basically a chalet girl for the week and dad is basically in charge of 6 children then I don't think it's unreasonable some of their costs are covered - but I do think it's unreasonable they aren't being transparent about that

Are you sure the chalet is only £4k though? That sounds v cheap!

olympicsrock · 05/12/2025 07:22

Can OP confirm the arrangements for food and drink , travel , taxis etc ?

Flowerlovinglady · 05/12/2025 07:24

I would check this out with them gently before jumping to any conclusions. I think they should have given you a breakdown of the costs - I certainly would have to avoid this sort of issue.

chunkyBoo · 05/12/2025 07:25

What about travel and food?

Mayflower282 · 05/12/2025 07:26

You haven’t included flights, ski hire, food, transfers, apres activities. I think it’s okay to check what’s included in the price with your friend, but be careful how you go about it and come from a place of “just want to check” rather than “why are you charging me this”.

Duechristmas · 05/12/2025 07:28

It wouldn't be unreasonable to ask them for a breakdown. I expect food and other expenditures are included there.

Ultravox · 05/12/2025 07:33

I’m organising a similar trip and have provided a complete breakdown of costs to the parents of the teens we are taking for flights, accommodation, transfers, lift pass & ski hire. It’s all worked out pp so we as a family of 4 are paying 4/6 and the 2 teens are paying 1/6 each.

It’s an awkward situation that these parents haven’t provided that! Id definitely ask where the additional costs are coming from.

Squishedpassenger · 05/12/2025 07:35

Maybe pocket money too. One mum in kid's school took another kid on a package holiday summer just gone. She actually paid for the flights and accommodation as the deal meant that another child could come extremely cheaply. That child didnt bring a penny for pocket money so the mum had to completely cover everything they did outside of the hotel. She just assumed the mum would send some money and was expecting her to speak about it on the day they left for the flight. By the time they landed, she was aware that the child didn't have a single penny.

Highlighta · 05/12/2025 07:44

No the maths does not work out, so you will need to get a breakdown.

My thoughts are:
800 for the accommodation and lift costs
860 for child care

It also depends on your relationship with the parents, and your dc relationship with their dc, as to whether you just suck it up and pay them what they ask.

PluckyChancer · 05/12/2025 07:47

I don’t see the problem with them asking you to subsidise their holiday as they’re taking responsibility for your child as well as theirs, plus the added travel costs, food, extras…?

You’d have to pay all of that yourself if you were taking your own kids on holiday. 🤷🏻‍♀️

ISpyNoPlumPie · 05/12/2025 07:49

Do people really invite their kid’s friends on holiday and charge for childcare??? As for the mum being the “chalet girl”…well that’s pretty unquantifiable. Wouldn’t the adults be doing that stuff anyway for their own children? Are they hosting or running a business? I wouldn’t be happy with this at all. Hope you haven’t paid them any money yet OP. I’d definitely need more information.

Fends · 05/12/2025 07:51

Looociee · 05/12/2025 03:13

I would question this but very very gently. Agree with pp - what about travel?

Why “very very gently”? I would be less of a wet wipe and tell them I’m not paying for their ski trip the cheeky fuckers 😆

RendeersDancingTowardsChristmas · 05/12/2025 07:51

Are Travel & Food costs separate?

I think OP has every right to ask for a breakdown.

WhatWouldTheDoctorDo · 05/12/2025 07:52

is the £4K accomodation cost definitely for 8 of them? When DS and friends were taken away by his friend’s parents they were in two different apartments. Funnily enough, the cost aside, it was an almost identical situation, including the ages and non-skiing mum!

I’d politely ask for a bit more of a break down of costs and what the amount includes, explain that it’s a bit more than you thought it’d be based on info shared but maybe it’s covering some costs you hadn’t included.

ISpyNoPlumPie · 05/12/2025 07:52

PluckyChancer · 05/12/2025 07:47

I don’t see the problem with them asking you to subsidise their holiday as they’re taking responsibility for your child as well as theirs, plus the added travel costs, food, extras…?

You’d have to pay all of that yourself if you were taking your own kids on holiday. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Do you charge for play dates, sleepovers, birthday parties?

blastfurnace · 05/12/2025 07:54

There’s no reasonable way that a split of £4000 accommodation + a lift pass cost £1640

Even if the host family are paying nothing at all and they are offloading it all onto the guests (which would be mad) it adds up to significantly less.

Either they are:

a) factoring in some of the additional costs like travel, ski hire, lessons, food (which you are assuming aren’t included in their calculations)
b) their maths is very wrong or
c) they are elite-level CFers.

Probably option A but you never know.

oneinataxioneinacar · 05/12/2025 07:55

Fends · 05/12/2025 07:51

Why “very very gently”? I would be less of a wet wipe and tell them I’m not paying for their ski trip the cheeky fuckers 😆

Show quote history

Because its possible there are elements of costs op hasnt factored in!

amber763 · 05/12/2025 07:56

PluckyChancer · 05/12/2025 07:47

I don’t see the problem with them asking you to subsidise their holiday as they’re taking responsibility for your child as well as theirs, plus the added travel costs, food, extras…?

You’d have to pay all of that yourself if you were taking your own kids on holiday. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Whaaaat? Don't be daft. Who would even dream of doing this??

Sunshineandgrapefruit · 05/12/2025 07:56

What about food drinks etc are you giving separate money for that? Ask for a breakdown to show how much for accomodation, ski pass food/ extras etc