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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Ski trip cost- are we subsidizing “host “ family

384 replies

Moknicker · 05/12/2025 02:58

Wanted to get a sense check on how a family has asked us to split costs for an upcoming ski trip

  • One family (2 adults + 2 kids) is going on the trip.
  • Four additional children (each from separate families) were invited to join. Our child is one of these - is friends with younger child. Kids are 17 and 15 year olds
  • Total people on the trip: 8
  • 4 from the host family.
  • 4 individual children

Shared costs:

  • Accommodation: 4k total
  • Ski lift pass: 7 at 300 each = 2100 ( mum is not skiing)
  • Total cost: 6100

The host family just told us the cost is 1640 for our son. I asked for the breakdown( we were only given total figure). It looks like they have added up the costs and divided by 5

Aibu to say this is not fair and our cost is around 1050( accommodation divided by 8 and we pay 300 for ski lift ) and we and the other kids should not be subsidizing the “host” family? And if we are then they should have told us beforehand?

Travel costs and other costs are covered individually.

OP posts:
SexyFrenchDepression · 06/12/2025 13:46

Wow, that is awful. When we have taken kids on holiday with us we have only ever charged them the amount it cost us on top of what we would have paid if just us, never even split costs that we would have paid anyway.

I would pull out also, would rather use it for a family trip instead of subsidising their holiday!!

ApolloandDaphne · 06/12/2025 13:47

That is a mad way to split things. No wonder they offer to take other DC with them!

amber763 · 06/12/2025 13:48

Thanks for coming back to update, op. I think you've done the right thing pulling out.

BillieWiper · 06/12/2025 13:50

So each of the four kids is paying for both themselves and for the whole other family? Who will all pay nothing? That's outrageous.

Yeah what a load of tosh. If your kid desperately wants to go offer the amount it should be, which is the cost divided by 8.

You certainly shouldn't be paying for their whole holiday!

HelmholtzWatson · 06/12/2025 13:50

The more I thought about this, the more i felt it was a scam - who on earth invites 4 extra teenagers to go on holiday with them if there is nothing in it for them?

Hankunamatata · 06/12/2025 13:50

I think splitting by 5 is taking the mick. I could understand splitting accomdation and car hire and food say by 7 (making couple one) but everyone should pay their own lift pass

FastTurtle · 06/12/2025 13:54

Moknicker · 06/12/2025 13:37

I texted the mum and she confirmed that the costs for acco and ski passes are split by 5 "families". When I asked how that was fair she replied it was "morally fair" and used some of the arguments in the thread that they were looking after our kids and it was a lot of risk etc.

I then called up my friend Rachel. For context Rachel's DH - Richard and host dad went to school together so go way back. Rachel's son Oliver is very good friends with the host son. Oliver is not going on the trip and i remember being a little surprised by that.

It turns out that host family pulled a similar thing on a summer camping trip with Oliver and another kid in the friend group. Rachel didn't realise what was going on just that the costs seemed to be really high - not as high as this obviously but enough to make them uncomfortable. Oliver was invited on the ski trip but they declined. Richard then called to apologise for not raising this with me when they knew my son was going on the trip. He's advised me to pull out of the trip and I have.

The host family has not responded as yet.

Edited

Wow!
Good for you for pulling out.

Thanksforyourlackofthought · 06/12/2025 13:55

I’ve taken other people’s children away twice. On both occasions we’ve paid for everything but just ask they bring spending money. On the 2nd occasion, the child’s parent insisted on giving me £100 towards their food/activities and had told their child that they were doing that. Spent the entire week with the other child insisting on the most expensive thing on each restaurant menu (despite quite often not eating it) whilst loudly telling us that their mum had paid for it. That was the last time.
How was your DC taking it about not going OP? Good for you for pulling out. It probably wasn’t a comfortable decision to make.

FastTurtle · 06/12/2025 14:01

Even with the dodgy dividing it by 5 calculation there’s an extra £400 been added on.

I bet they’ve been doing this scam for a while and got really greedy this time.

NoSoapJustUseShowerGel · 06/12/2025 14:04

Moknicker · 06/12/2025 13:37

I texted the mum and she confirmed that the costs for acco and ski passes are split by 5 "families". When I asked how that was fair she replied it was "morally fair" and used some of the arguments in the thread that they were looking after our kids and it was a lot of risk etc.

I then called up my friend Rachel. For context Rachel's DH - Richard and host dad went to school together so go way back. Rachel's son Oliver is very good friends with the host son. Oliver is not going on the trip and i remember being a little surprised by that.

It turns out that host family pulled a similar thing on a summer camping trip with Oliver and another kid in the friend group. Rachel didn't realise what was going on just that the costs seemed to be really high - not as high as this obviously but enough to make them uncomfortable. Oliver was invited on the ski trip but they declined. Richard then called to apologise for not raising this with me when they knew my son was going on the trip. He's advised me to pull out of the trip and I have.

The host family has not responded as yet.

Edited

Wow this is outrageous! So they are very much inviting lots of kids friends in order to subsidise their holiday. Good for you for pulling out, they shouldn’t get away with trying this on.

MathsMum3 · 06/12/2025 14:08

Moknicker · 06/12/2025 13:37

I texted the mum and she confirmed that the costs for acco and ski passes are split by 5 "families". When I asked how that was fair she replied it was "morally fair" and used some of the arguments in the thread that they were looking after our kids and it was a lot of risk etc.

I then called up my friend Rachel. For context Rachel's DH - Richard and host dad went to school together so go way back. Rachel's son Oliver is very good friends with the host son. Oliver is not going on the trip and i remember being a little surprised by that.

It turns out that host family pulled a similar thing on a summer camping trip with Oliver and another kid in the friend group. Rachel didn't realise what was going on just that the costs seemed to be really high - not as high as this obviously but enough to make them uncomfortable. Oliver was invited on the ski trip but they declined. Richard then called to apologise for not raising this with me when they knew my son was going on the trip. He's advised me to pull out of the trip and I have.

The host family has not responded as yet.

Edited

I'm still perplexed, because the cost of acco and passes is 6100, and 6100 shred by 5 is 1220, not 1640, so her proposed "morally fair" calculation is still incorrect! Did you ask about that?

Fdsew · 06/12/2025 14:14

What a shabby bunch.
I would absolutely be putting distance between you and them.
You do know it is not normal to use your children's friends like this.
Appalling behaviour.

I would 100% passing this on to others parents, definitely wouldn't allow others get caught out.

rookiemere · 06/12/2025 14:21

Wow I don’t blame you for pulling out, but you could have had some fun with it.

”Ah ok well as we took your DC away last summer if we rework the invite based on your logic, you actually owe us £550. How about we pay actual costs instead- 1/8 accommodation, car hire & petrol, plus lift pass which comes to £1050?”

Its their DC I feel sorry for, no-one is going to want to go away with them. I felt bad enough even asking other DP to pay their share when we took DS friends away, never mind getting them to subsidise our holiday!

Blondeshavemorefun · 06/12/2025 14:29

Thanks for update. They ar cheeky dividing between 5
and then adding even more on top

columnatedruinsdomino · 06/12/2025 14:40

So each of the 4 kids instead of a £300 ski pass is paying over £400? These are personal though and should be added after the split. This is without each child only having a third of a bedroom but paying a fifth of the total cost! What cheeky fuckers! Get in touch with the other parents and let them know.

Needspaceforlego · 06/12/2025 14:44

Op I'd pull out too. Hope your son is ok about it.

Your suspicions were right they were using others to subsidise their holiday.
I'd much rather pay for a school trip than send my kid with these chancers

wfhwfh · 06/12/2025 14:49

This is shameless and im so glad youve pulled out. The only thing i’d add is i feel very sorry for the hosts DC as they are old enough to understand their parents are behaving badly. So i do hope it doesnt affect their friendships with the other children as its not their doing

blastfurnace · 06/12/2025 15:02

MathsMum3 · 06/12/2025 14:08

I'm still perplexed, because the cost of acco and passes is 6100, and 6100 shred by 5 is 1220, not 1640, so her proposed "morally fair" calculation is still incorrect! Did you ask about that?

Show quote history

Yes I am questioning this too - I can’t fathom how OP originally assumed the costs had been split by 5, when it’s nothing like a division by 5. Then the hosts apparently confess to splitting by 5, but still that doesn’t make the numbers work.

Something doesn’t add up (literally!)

nomas · 06/12/2025 15:07

Tiswa · 06/12/2025 13:41

Have you spoken to the other friend as well

pulling out seems the right choice

Yes, I would be warning the other children’s parents asap.

Don’t let host family get away with fleecing people

Morally fair my arse.

nomas · 06/12/2025 15:10

They’ve probably added on extortionate rates for food, as OP said the host said they would provide any meals eaten in the accommodation, but not any meals eaten out.

FastTurtle · 06/12/2025 15:14

I hope all 4 DC pull out and they are left with the 4k accommodation and the 7 seater that fits 8 (even the car size is them being cheap).

Chocja · 06/12/2025 15:49

I am guessing the extra will be car hire for the 7 seater, admin costs for them and food for eating in the cabin?

Scottishskifun · 06/12/2025 16:06

That's a high amount of CF going on there OP following your update!
Definitely the right thing to pull out I could maybe understand a bit more for the hire car or pooling a supermarket shop but that takes the piss!

I would also message the other families if I were you to make them aware of it if you are friends with them

rookiemere · 06/12/2025 16:14

columnatedruinsdomino · 06/12/2025 14:40

So each of the 4 kids instead of a £300 ski pass is paying over £400? These are personal though and should be added after the split. This is without each child only having a third of a bedroom but paying a fifth of the total cost! What cheeky fuckers! Get in touch with the other parents and let them know.

This is a good point and in ski apartments the “children’s “ rooms are often tiny corners in the hall or in one we rented it was a three level bunk bed in a windowless tiny room. Unfair to expect those people to pay the same share as the lead couple in the en suite double, never mind subsidise their leeching lifestyle.

Notonthestairs · 06/12/2025 16:40

Wow. Must hold up my hands and say I called that wrong.
I was fully expecting that total to cover everything and they had just failed to explain that it was a grand total of food/transport/ski hire etc, not just accomodation and ski passes.
Genuinely hadn't occurred to me that the host family would try to pass on additional costs to the boys accompanying them.