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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Ski trip cost- are we subsidizing “host “ family

384 replies

Moknicker · 05/12/2025 02:58

Wanted to get a sense check on how a family has asked us to split costs for an upcoming ski trip

  • One family (2 adults + 2 kids) is going on the trip.
  • Four additional children (each from separate families) were invited to join. Our child is one of these - is friends with younger child. Kids are 17 and 15 year olds
  • Total people on the trip: 8
  • 4 from the host family.
  • 4 individual children

Shared costs:

  • Accommodation: 4k total
  • Ski lift pass: 7 at 300 each = 2100 ( mum is not skiing)
  • Total cost: 6100

The host family just told us the cost is 1640 for our son. I asked for the breakdown( we were only given total figure). It looks like they have added up the costs and divided by 5

Aibu to say this is not fair and our cost is around 1050( accommodation divided by 8 and we pay 300 for ski lift ) and we and the other kids should not be subsidizing the “host” family? And if we are then they should have told us beforehand?

Travel costs and other costs are covered individually.

OP posts:
CharlieUniformNovemberTangoYankee · 06/12/2025 18:08

Morally fair my arse. They weren't so keen on this 'moral fairness' when it was you taking their child on holiday, were they?

I do feel a bit sorry for your son missing out on the trip (and also for their son who is missing out on his friend being there).

However you've 100% done the right thing by not letting them get away with their unbelievable cheeky fuckery.

Calliopespa · 06/12/2025 18:19

HelmholtzWatson · 06/12/2025 13:50

The more I thought about this, the more i felt it was a scam - who on earth invites 4 extra teenagers to go on holiday with them if there is nothing in it for them?

That's what I was thinking - I couldn't think of anything worse. When everyone was discussing the 7 seater that takes 8 I was thinking just imagine all those seats full of teens that aren't even yours!

Calliopespa · 06/12/2025 18:21

MathsMum3 · 06/12/2025 14:08

I'm still perplexed, because the cost of acco and passes is 6100, and 6100 shred by 5 is 1220, not 1640, so her proposed "morally fair" calculation is still incorrect! Did you ask about that?

Show quote history

It seems as though the figure was "what we think we can get away with."

Mind you, I have had tradesmen quotes based on that so I shouldn't be so surprised.

nomas · 06/12/2025 18:52

Chocja · 06/12/2025 15:49

I am guessing the extra will be car hire for the 7 seater, admin costs for them and food for eating in the cabin?

What admin costs?

nomas · 06/12/2025 19:01

CharlieUniformNovemberTangoYankee · 06/12/2025 18:08

Morally fair my arse. They weren't so keen on this 'moral fairness' when it was you taking their child on holiday, were they?

I do feel a bit sorry for your son missing out on the trip (and also for their son who is missing out on his friend being there).

However you've 100% done the right thing by not letting them get away with their unbelievable cheeky fuckery.

I’d be sending them an invoice for the accommodation and food costs for their child from that holiday, as a wake up call.

replay2025 · 06/12/2025 19:05

You are subbing their family holiday- decline!!!

YellowCherry · 06/12/2025 19:11

1640 x the 4 invited kids = 6540 which is MORE than 6100 so the hosts are getting a family skiing holiday for free!!

Daleksatemyshed · 06/12/2025 19:16

If you know the parents of any of the other teens going on this holiday then contact them, this woman uses the word morally but has no idea what the word means. How can anyone think it's fair for four teens to each pay the same as a family of four. Out her Op, out her to anyone who might want to take up their "generous" offer

AnnaFrith · 06/12/2025 19:18

Wow what Cheeky Fuckers!
Glad you are pulling out OP.
I can't imagine the thought process of someone who invites their children's friends along with the intention of getting them to pay for the holiday!

Franpie · 06/12/2025 19:25

Wow, just wow. I cannot believe your update. I’m flabbergasted.

Trueloveneverdies · 06/12/2025 21:38

Outrageous behaviour - i’m so glad you challenged them. Hope they don’t try to re-invoice the other children!

mummybearSW19 · 06/12/2025 22:01

Moknicker · 06/12/2025 13:37

I texted the mum and she confirmed that the costs for acco and ski passes are split by 5 "families". When I asked how that was fair she replied it was "morally fair" and used some of the arguments in the thread that they were looking after our kids and it was a lot of risk etc.

I then called up my friend Rachel. For context Rachel's DH - Richard and host dad went to school together so go way back. Rachel's son Oliver is very good friends with the host son. Oliver is not going on the trip and i remember being a little surprised by that.

It turns out that host family pulled a similar thing on a summer camping trip with Oliver and another kid in the friend group. Rachel didn't realise what was going on just that the costs seemed to be really high - not as high as this obviously but enough to make them uncomfortable. Oliver was invited on the ski trip but they declined. Richard then called to apologise for not raising this with me when they knew my son was going on the trip. He's advised me to pull out of the trip and I have.

The host family has not responded as yet.

Edited

Wow

cgpcbtm · 06/12/2025 22:26

That's really cheeky.
I'd have pulled out as well.
Also 6100/5 is 1220. I think they've divided by 4 and only the non-family members are paying.
So that means they are getting a free holiday.

Chocja · 06/12/2025 23:40

nomas · 06/12/2025 18:52

What admin costs?

Show quote history

With the sort of logic that this takes to split the finances as they have, I’m sure they can justify (to themselves anyway) some sort of admin costs. Like £20 an hour to book things or research a hire care. I would guess that they will have their own unique way of looking at finances, depending on whether it’s them being paid or doing the paying.

Lougle · 06/12/2025 23:52

I wonder if this would feature on 'best life hacks' threads.

"I plan a holiday, invite 4 friends of the kids along, all from separate families divide and conquer. Then I divide the cost of the holiday between the kids and add a bit on. We come out in profit and the parents are grateful their kids have had a holiday, so they don't question it!"

Calliopespa · 07/12/2025 00:08

It's a business it would seem! 😂

Sofita90 · 07/12/2025 00:19

Is it a case where the kids are a group of friends who wanted to do this trip together and the parents just go to keep an eye on them ? If yes maybe they don’t see this as a holiday but as a duty they do on behalf of the other parents as well and they don’t want to pay for hotel on top of that . If they kids were going alone would divide by 5. We don’t even know if they wlll have their own room or just sleep on the sofa

nomas · 07/12/2025 00:45

Chocja · 06/12/2025 23:40

With the sort of logic that this takes to split the finances as they have, I’m sure they can justify (to themselves anyway) some sort of admin costs. Like £20 an hour to book things or research a hire care. I would guess that they will have their own unique way of looking at finances, depending on whether it’s them being paid or doing the paying.

Show quote history

Oh I see! Yes, I can see that.

GarlicRound · 07/12/2025 00:56

Well done, @Moknicker. Sorry for your son's disappointment but what a pair of graspers! I'm so glad you had your mutual friends to check with.

caringcarer · 07/12/2025 00:57

When we took foster sons best friend on holiday we said cost was £197 for 10 days in France. That covered his ferry fare, 2 meals in restaurant, Go Ape day, kayaking and pedalos. We paid for his general food. We own holiday home so no cost. He brought his own spending money for ice creams etc. You don't invite people on holiday to make a profit from them. We didn't actually charge FS friend anything but his parents kept insisting they pay for him so we worked out cost.

GarlicRound · 07/12/2025 00:57

Daleksatemyshed · 06/12/2025 19:16

If you know the parents of any of the other teens going on this holiday then contact them, this woman uses the word morally but has no idea what the word means. How can anyone think it's fair for four teens to each pay the same as a family of four. Out her Op, out her to anyone who might want to take up their "generous" offer

Yes, fully agree.

HisNibs · 07/12/2025 02:45

Morally fair? That's straight from the CF playbook isn't it. £6100 divided by the 4 extra children is £1525 each (less than the quoted £1640) - they're trying to make a profit out of the extra children... CF arseholes

WiddlinDiddlin · 07/12/2025 05:03

Wow, are they wanting to be nominated for CF of the year?!

Not just having the 'guests' subsidize the holiday but actually looking to profit on them it seems!

Definitely let the parents of the other kids know WHY you've pulled out if you possibly can and boy would I love to know what they say about it!

DizzyDucklings · 07/12/2025 05:12

OP that is cheeky as hell.

But please share the maths so we can all sleep tonight!

What do they do now that you’ve pulled out? Divide by 4?

TidyDancer · 07/12/2025 06:55

Your update is awful! They are so brazen about it! You take extra kids on holiday to keep your children company or just to be kind, not to make money from!