Can't afford Dd's very expensive school trip

[Wario54]

My DD is 15 and in year 10 at the moment. We live a deprived part of the North of England. She goes to a local, state comprehensive

My DH has had his hours reduced at work in recent months. I work part time in retail (can't get anymore hours unfortunately - I have asked). Like a lot of families, we're financially struggling to keep our heads above water. But we get by (somehow) and I never take the little things for granted (that we have each other, food on the table and a roof over our heads). We've not told our kids about our financial worries - they know there isn't much spare money but not about the extent of our problems.

Dd has come home tonight with a letter and great excitement about another school trip. They had a guest speaker today (external travel company) in assembly today enthusing them about a trip to Borneo of all places. It's 4 weeks long and the cost is £6,500. Currently planned for June/July 2027 (just after her GCSE'S). They are expected to fundraise some of the cost themselves (bake sales, sponsored walks etc) but we will have to pay the majority if she's to go.

She said today that she'll get a Saturday job to cover some of the cost herself. But even with that, taken into account we just can't afford it. It breaks my heart, because I'd love to give her that opportunity but I know we simply can't.

She's full of excitement about trekking through the jungle and cuddling Orangutans. But how do I tell her when she's already set her heart on it? 😢

I just think the school are being completely ridiculous by offering such an expensive trip in a cost of living crisis.

One of mine signed up for a trip where they had to fundraise, nowhere near £6k but it was still a bloody nightmare. I found it embarrassing to ask people to donate to my kids jolly, although they worked bloody hard to raise the money, it took up so, so much time and we ended up having to sub with money we didn't really have.

£6.5k is insanity though. I can't see many signing up, we are in an affluent area and no school would put on that type of trip.

That’s astronomical! My son attends an Independent school & in a dozen years I’ve never seen a trip so expensive. There have been sports tours to South Africa & Dubai which have cost several thousands & each had a couple of years to raise funds. I suspect a few teachers fancied their chances on a free trip!

Because when our kids were at independent schools in the NW of England, the most expensive trips were just under 2K for ski-ing. (We declined) Our youngest was at a state sixth form and they went on a course specific trip to Los Angeles just 4 years ago, 9 nights, which was shockingly expensive to most families at £2.2K.
The schools were well aware of local economics. The idea that a state school in a deprived northern area would consider for a moment proposing a £6.5k trip just sounds completely implausible (even if offered by an outside agency).

No, no and no again, just in case you didn't hear the first time round!!!
WTAF do these schools think they're playing at?! It's almost like the 'hard sell' approach to the pupils who then go home all excited about this trip opportunity of a lifetime. Of course, the teachers get to go for free so there's your incentive......
We've had it in recent years and our children are always unnecessarily disappointed because there is absolutely no way on this earth we could ever afford to (or justify) spending 5yrs worth of family holiday money on one fucking school trip!!!
Even if you could afford it. I really don't think it teaches the children anything about the value of money which is so important at this stage in their lives.

I did not go to school in the UK and I'm absolutely shocked at what people are writing here about school trips. I thought the dress rules were over the top, but month long school trips? Ski trips? Thousands of pounds requested by school? While some schools are debating wether it is ok to take the kids to a museum.

That’s nothing you could spend your budget on one night in a hotel suite.

(this is relevant how exactly??)

This trip sounds absolutely ridiculous especially the cost. You need to explain why it’s impossible - do a chart of income/expenditure to help you. She’s year 10 so she’s old enough to understand.
I didn’t go on any residential trips at school, I was disappointed/gutted but understood it wasn’t my parents fault - they worked hard and full time in poorly paid jobs.

Teachers of Mumsnet.
Who decides on these trips?
Who in a state school setting decides to ask parents for £6,500 for a trip??

No doubt the teachers supervising don’t have to pay though.
It’s madness and frankly its nasty- smacks of champagne socialism.
God, it makes me sick that this is allowed in state schools.

I agree particularly as 5 star hotels in KL are really really compared to Singapore for example.

Dear Parent

The school is organising a trip on Elon Musk's rocket ship, for just £ 2 500 000 your child can experience a trip of lifetime, help build schools for alien orphans and learn Klingon.

She won't be able to 'cuddle orangutans'. Strictly hands-off! No Contact Policy For Orangutans | The Great Projects And this would be wherever these great creatures are.

Quite. Anyone saying £6.5k is “nothing” in the current climate is an idiot.

Bet your bloody life that the locals in Borneo won’t be benefiting from the excess £4.5k once the flights are paid for. They’ll be paid bugger all and anyone perpetuating this exploitation should be bloody ashamed of themselves.

School is ridiculous and short sighted when the cost of living crisis is talked about so much, I struggle to understand their idiocy with this. And no to the trip and expense, utterly ridiculous expectation, your dd will not be the only one told no, it’s a life lesson, she will recover from her disappointment. Be honest and say you simply cannot afford it x

This is not a school trip, it sounds like one of those sixth form 'let's do voluntary work and help poor people (or maybe animals in this case) in the third world'. She's had one talk from a marketing expert. Just tell her it is not realistic and the only people benefitting are the private company. I doubt if many pupils will be taking up the offer however enthusiastic they are, other parents will also be pointing out there are much better ways of spending £6k+. There will be other opportunities for travel in the future. You might email the school and point out how unfair it is to raise hopes of keen young people when the cost is so ridiculously high.

The school principal is at fault for allowing a travel company to do a sales pitch to children without their parents' prior consent. I've never heard of this happening in my life. Is he/she benefiting in some way from this?

I would not let your daughter go to Borneo even if it cost a fraction of this ridiculous amount of money. It's too far away and there many other places she could visit in Europe before heading to another continent. What happens if she gets sick or if some kind of conflict breaks out while she is there. Sabah has had issues with kidnappings recently.

I suspect a few teachers fancied their chances on a free trip!

This sort of comment makes my blood boil! The staff are on duty 24/7 in their own holidays, having to deal with all the problems that teenagers, by their very nature, bring. It's just not worth the angst to accompany groups, especially destinations like Borneo. How would you cope with an asthma attack especially during the night? Extreme homesickness? A child going missing? Personality clashes that affect the whole group? Bad behaviour, and having to send a kid home? A kid shoplifting? Getting drunk? It has all happened to me, while I missed my own children dreadfully.

None of my children have ever been on a trip costing that much. It’s an absolute luxury.

It's not really a school trip, it's run by a company and the students are supposed to fund raise to pay for it.
I still don't think it's a good idea, though.

Indeed. Because that could kill them.

Why would any 15 year old set their heart on a £6500 trip? Surely she must have some common sense?

Tell her to start saving so she can go in her year off.

She should be focussing on her GCSEs - not trying to work and find raise 6.5k

there are plenty of volunteering trips she can do when older and that will be cheaper and you can find ones that are less exploitative of the local communities (sea clear ups, dog rescues etc rather than building schools for example)

Dd did one of these trips this year. 10 went from a school of over 1200. It was 4k. We fundraised a lot but were lucky in that dh has a niche job people will pay to meet him / experience what he does.

Also there’s a lot of addditional costs like equipment , vaccinations etc etc etc

im glad dd did it but it’s not a normal thing - none of her friends did it for example.

I am genuinely surprised your dd thinks this is automatically feasible tbh.

Tell her most of her friends will go to a festival post GCSEs and she will miss that and enjoy it more.

I would complain to the school. Clearly the travel company is getting commission on this so the costs and charges should be transparent.

Just say no, explain it is a stupid amount of money. She will get over it as I doubt anyone else will go

Btw, a friend's son went on an expensive school trip to Africa and none of his friends went. He had the most awful time. It was only by the time the deposit was that he realised no one who he got on with was going. He spent the trip solo waiting to get home.

I think your daughter is old enough to understand that the costs are too high and that you just can’t do it. Some pupils will go and that’s fine but she can’t as that amount will pay for a very decent family holiday which everyone can enjoy.

I agree with this. One teacher went with my kids group and I feel like he deserves a knighthood!