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AIBU?

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Original poster

Can't afford Dd's very expensive school trip

1000 replies

Wario54 · 03/12/2025 21:52

My DD is 15 and in year 10 at the moment. We live a deprived part of the North of England. She goes to a local, state comprehensive

My DH has had his hours reduced at work in recent months. I work part time in retail (can't get anymore hours unfortunately - I have asked). Like a lot of families, we're financially struggling to keep our heads above water. But we get by (somehow) and I never take the little things for granted (that we have each other, food on the table and a roof over our heads). We've not told our kids about our financial worries - they know there isn't much spare money but not about the extent of our problems.

Dd has come home tonight with a letter and great excitement about another school trip. They had a guest speaker today (external travel company) in assembly today enthusing them about a trip to Borneo of all places. It's 4 weeks long and the cost is £6,500. Currently planned for June/July 2027 (just after her GCSE'S). They are expected to fundraise some of the cost themselves (bake sales, sponsored walks etc) but we will have to pay the majority if she's to go.

She said today that she'll get a Saturday job to cover some of the cost herself. But even with that, taken into account we just can't afford it. It breaks my heart, because I'd love to give her that opportunity but I know we simply can't.

She's full of excitement about trekking through the jungle and cuddling Orangutans. But how do I tell her when she's already set her heart on it? 😢

I just think the school are being completely ridiculous by offering such an expensive trip in a cost of living crisis.

OP posts:
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5
IsntItDarkOut · 03/12/2025 22:57

I can’t believe it will go ahead. They have to have a certain number sign up to cover the costs. I’ve seen school trips cancelled because they haven’t.
I say as someone who could afford it (although DD would never go) I still wouldn’t pay that amount for a school trip.
I met someone who taught at a private school and she literally sat with a map, worked out where she fancied going, would plan a school trip there and her cost was covered.

whatcanthematterbe81 · 03/12/2025 22:57

IridiumSky · 03/12/2025 22:56

No it isn’t.
‘Rich’ people tend to be sensible: that’s often how they got rich.
They’d see this as the disgusting scam it is.

Show quote history

Yeah, but I said rich rich! They’re different 😜

soupyspoon · 03/12/2025 22:57

Is this real?

If so it's not just about the money surely it's also about the ethical issues of westerners swanning about in the 'jungle' what's left of it, to cuddle orangutans, what's left of them. I wouldn't support that anyway.

Another76543 · 03/12/2025 22:57

Zigazigarrr · 03/12/2025 22:53

£6,5000 for 4 weeks to Borneo is nothing. I am not saying it’s right for your school to offer it as a trip but as context I am planning a trip next year to Asia for about 4-5 weeks for the family and the cost will be about 13 times that (tho as I say that is a family). It’s just one of those things. Don’t be angry, just say no.

Slight thread derail, but I’m fairly sure it wouldn’t be hard for a family to travel in Asia for a month for a fair bit less than £85k, even allowing for business flights and luxury hotels,

DownThePubWithStevieNicks · 03/12/2025 22:58

OP can’t get extra hours in the retail job she already has, it doesn’t seem very likely that her 15 yo daughter is going to get taken on and paid £300+ a month

SockFluffInTheBath · 03/12/2025 22:58

Hello39 · 03/12/2025 22:56

That's unreal. In one way, it's good it's so outrageous, most parents will say no to that, compared to 600 for a ski trip for example.

She'll need to earn £85 a week for the next year and a half. And keep it all for the trip. Does she think that's doable.

£600 for a ski trip? 5 years ago our DC’s was £1500 each plus kit (got cancelled for Covid though).

zanahoria · 03/12/2025 22:59

We had a neighbouring kid who was doing some sponsored thing climbing somewhere in the Himalayas but it had to be scrapped due to covid. Money raised still went to charity - I thought that was an excellent result!

Titasaducksarse · 03/12/2025 22:59

Zigazigarrr · 03/12/2025 22:53

£6,5000 for 4 weeks to Borneo is nothing. I am not saying it’s right for your school to offer it as a trip but as context I am planning a trip next year to Asia for about 4-5 weeks for the family and the cost will be about 13 times that (tho as I say that is a family). It’s just one of those things. Don’t be angry, just say no.

£85000.....How is it costing you that much, that's insane! SEA is so economical. Food is cheap, great accommodation cheap, internal travel eg flights cheap. I'm stunned.

NotoBorneo · 03/12/2025 22:59

DS went on a very expensive school trip to Borneo ten years ago. Parts of it (climbing Mount Kinabalu, seeing orang-utans) were fantastic. But during it they "stayed with local families" for several days, and DS said that it wasn't the "get to know a local family" as advertised - this was how these families made their living, hosting kids from a different school trip each week. It was an entirely commercialised "family experience." And worse, they visited an orphanage, which DS said was basically run as a "destination" with the orphans being exhibited to a different school each week. He said the orphanage was also clearly being run as a commercial venture, with the orphans having a well-practised routine of singing a welcome song etc to their visitors. He said it was all very exploitative and made him feel uncomfortable.

Schoolchoicesucks · 03/12/2025 23:00

jetlag92 · 03/12/2025 22:40

But not with business flights - 2 weeks and luxury hotels you didn't

Show quote history

The daughter's not being enticed with a 2 week luxury hotel and business class flights though. Why is this relevant?

pollyglot · 03/12/2025 23:00

DH and I are planning a month in Malta, flying from NZ. All up, including Cisk, it is costing just slightly more than that- for TWO of us!
Please don't feel badly...that's a ludicrously expensive trip for kids.

OrangeAxolotyl · 03/12/2025 23:00

soupyspoon · 03/12/2025 22:57

Is this real?

If so it's not just about the money surely it's also about the ethical issues of westerners swanning about in the 'jungle' what's left of it, to cuddle orangutans, what's left of them. I wouldn't support that anyway.

They won't be allowed to get near the orangs, believe me. We only saw one from a distance.

TippityTappity2 · 03/12/2025 23:00

Actually is it £6500 each? Or for a group?

youalright · 03/12/2025 23:01

Hello39 · 03/12/2025 22:56

That's unreal. In one way, it's good it's so outrageous, most parents will say no to that, compared to 600 for a ski trip for example.

She'll need to earn £85 a week for the next year and a half. And keep it all for the trip. Does she think that's doable.

Considering she doesn't currently have a job and jobs are hard to get especially this time of year retail jobs will already have there Christmas temps and nobody will be hiring in January, February. I can't see how it is doable

blastfurnace · 03/12/2025 23:01

Violet00 · 03/12/2025 22:55

Op it’s probably the same company organising the trip that came to our school promoting it the other week, they had an information evening to pitch it. They come in every year and promote it, but I believe they approach the school rather than it being like a standard school organised trip to a museum or something like that. If it’s the same company organising the trip (same location and cost), only a few students go each year out of 300. They’re encouraged to fundraise as much as possible, I know of a parent who could afford to stump up the rest of the money for their dc to go, and they’re a well off family. Think he managed to fundraise £500 himself.

It’s way out of reach for most of the families at our school, as is the month long trip somewhere else that was recently pitched at school, students will build a local school and going scuba diving somewhere exotic, I can’t remember where! Dd said barely anyone took it seriously. It was definitely a business coming in and pitching, sold it as a great achievement to put on your ucas form. Dd wouldn’t want to go away for a month anyway, but if she did I’d just tell her unless she could fundraise most of the cost we simply can’t afford any kind of trip that costs that much!

It’s such a racket. These places don’t need a bunch of teenagers coming to “build schools”, it’s just an over-priced holiday dressed up in white-saviour nonsense.

MoodyMargaret11 · 03/12/2025 23:01

IridiumSky · 03/12/2025 22:50

Ridiculous, and almost certainly some kind of highly marked-up scam by a travel company.

I bet there’s some do-gooding ‘help save the orang-utans’ element or some other meaningless nonsense. It’s a standard marketing technique.

Tell your daughter to save up with a few friends, then do the trip herself once she’s finished school at 18. Plenty do that. A return air fare to Indonesia, say via Bangkok or KL, some cheap hotels/hostels and so on would not amount to over six grand. What a rip-off!

Yeah it must be one of them Do-Gooders initiatives 100% given the location and amount of time.
Only for a select few privileged to fart around acting like they can fix a system better than the local people. Money far better spent donated directly, but where's the fun and glam in that?

zanahoria · 03/12/2025 23:02

ThejoyofNC · 03/12/2025 21:57

I'd be making a furious complaint to the school over this. It's outrageous.

Be the Wild Woman of Borneo!

Florencesndzebedee · 03/12/2025 23:02

Yes, complain to the governors. It’s an unfair ‘opportunity’.

Catsbooks345 · 03/12/2025 23:02

IsntItDarkOut · 03/12/2025 22:57

I can’t believe it will go ahead. They have to have a certain number sign up to cover the costs. I’ve seen school trips cancelled because they haven’t.
I say as someone who could afford it (although DD would never go) I still wouldn’t pay that amount for a school trip.
I met someone who taught at a private school and she literally sat with a map, worked out where she fancied going, would plan a school trip there and her cost was covered.

Yes this. Who exactly is paying for the teachers' trip? I doubt it's themselves. Someone's having a laugh here.

Wintertime2025 · 03/12/2025 23:03

That is so unfair on the schools part. Also she could do the trip for wayyyyyy cheaper than that of self funded. £2k. Can’t a few friends plan for this when 18?

MoodyMargaret11 · 03/12/2025 23:03

Sorry I voted YABU by mistake, please discount my vote 😄
I'd be laughing hard (or raging) at the school.

CypressGrove · 03/12/2025 23:04

Your daughter is 15 not 5, old enough to realise a £6500 trip to Borneo to 'cuddle orangutans' isn't going to happen. If she wants to go to Borneo she can wait until she's finished school and can pay a fraction of that to go on her own or with friends (but clearly there won't be any cuddling of orangutans at any point).

Ponderingwindow · 03/12/2025 23:04

My DD’s school offers several of these trips each year. It is a state school with a generally wealthy student base. Only a very small fraction of the students choose to take one of the available trips. They are still very expensive, even for families of means.

i love that they are available because I am disabled. I have money, but taking my teen abroad is XH challenging. These trips are perfect for children like mine. They are so valuable for us that the price tag doesn’t even seem that large because the real value is being able to take the trip without a disabled parent holding you back.

AngelinaFibres · 03/12/2025 23:04

blastfurnace · 03/12/2025 23:01

It’s such a racket. These places don’t need a bunch of teenagers coming to “build schools”, it’s just an over-priced holiday dressed up in white-saviour nonsense.

Show quote history

Most of the buildings built on gap years are knocked down and rebuilt ready for the next lot of teenagers to fly in and rebuild them. They are never fit for purpose because they are built by people with absolutely no skills.

Okiedokie123 · 03/12/2025 23:05

jetlag92 · 03/12/2025 22:15

I'm taking my family to borneo in the summer for 2 weeks - 5 of us for £30,000 Business class flights, luxury accom, plus 3 night in KL.
They're taking the mickey.

So that’s £6k each for half the amount of time. Even worse imho.

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