Can't afford Dd's very expensive school trip

[Wario54]

My DD is 15 and in year 10 at the moment. We live a deprived part of the North of England. She goes to a local, state comprehensive

My DH has had his hours reduced at work in recent months. I work part time in retail (can't get anymore hours unfortunately - I have asked). Like a lot of families, we're financially struggling to keep our heads above water. But we get by (somehow) and I never take the little things for granted (that we have each other, food on the table and a roof over our heads). We've not told our kids about our financial worries - they know there isn't much spare money but not about the extent of our problems.

Dd has come home tonight with a letter and great excitement about another school trip. They had a guest speaker today (external travel company) in assembly today enthusing them about a trip to Borneo of all places. It's 4 weeks long and the cost is £6,500. Currently planned for June/July 2027 (just after her GCSE'S). They are expected to fundraise some of the cost themselves (bake sales, sponsored walks etc) but we will have to pay the majority if she's to go.

She said today that she'll get a Saturday job to cover some of the cost herself. But even with that, taken into account we just can't afford it. It breaks my heart, because I'd love to give her that opportunity but I know we simply can't.

She's full of excitement about trekking through the jungle and cuddling Orangutans. But how do I tell her when she's already set her heart on it? 😢

I just think the school are being completely ridiculous by offering such an expensive trip in a cost of living crisis.

That's what happened at our school a rugby trip to Canada twenty five years ago. £3k. They couldn't knock up a team. Had a big auction of promises and prizes plus many other fundraising events to bring the cost down. Was a painful and embarrassing situation.

But these kids who are likely to go - where are they getting the money from if they are in a deprived area. Even if they weren’t in a deprived area! It’s a hell of a lot of money and tbh if my dd worked and managed to get 6.5k I’d be a bit miffed that she didn’t consider a family holiday a worthwhile investment

That’s utterly ridiculous. We’re lucky enough to be fairly comfortably off (we didn’t have DC till we were older and by then established in our careers, and bought our house in 1999, not sure why I’m saying all this!) and there’s no way we’d have let our DC gone on a trip that cost so much.

DS is currently travelling around SE Asia for 3 months, including Borneo, and his entire budget isn’t much more than that. And I’m pretty sure they don’t let you cuddle orangutans and if they do, it’s not very ethical.

Just to add i know of two young people who went on such trips (not my DC) and the fundraising was exceptionally difficult, especially for one who came from a rural area with few well-off people. As a relative I got thoroughly fed up with being asked to give money for something i would never have agreed to for my own DC. The parents had to find most of the money in the end. I am fairly sure the parents in the other case also had to contribute a lot in the end.

Use this as an opportunity to welcome her to the real world.

I thought you were describing DD’s school except our meeting isn’t until Monday. I received this email tonight however I definitely haven’t registered so not sure how they’ve ended up up with my email. The idea is that it’s ‘voluntourism’ and they are supposed to fundraiser for the total cost of the trip themselves. Working in the voluntary sector I do have a BIG issue with this. I’ve agreed to go along to the meeting on Monday but warned DD that it’s very unlikely she’ll be able to go.

That price for Borneo is ridiculous. We went 2 years ago for 10 days all inclusive flights, jungle lodges, hotels, 3 meals a day, guide for the equivalent of 2000.00 pounds for 2. I’m in Australia so obviously the airfares are cheaper, but not to that extent.
also there will be no cuddling Orangutans, the sanctuary is very strict and although you may see them close up no touching allowed.

I’m wondering of the 13 times was typo and they meant 3 times that amount. That would make more sense for a 4 week holiday for a family.

£6,500 is a lot for a school trip and I doubt many parents could afford it. It doesn’t sit right with me that an outside travel agency has been brought in to talk at an assembly about a trip like this. Our children went skiing/to Auschwitz/a 3 week trip around Europe etc but we drew the line at the £4k trips to New York for 5 days! I completely understand why some parents would be happy to pay though if for one reason or another their children would never get the opportunities to travel other than with school.

I’m horrified this trip was pitched to “cuddle orangutans” tbh. We never seen anything like that in Borneo and I can only assume the travel company certainly aren’t ethical if they’re taking children to somewhere animals are abused like that. I’d be raising that with the school as well as the cost.

WTF? They won't refund if you can't go?? What a fucking scam!

That is crazy money.
I actually did book a borneo trip with a weeks guided treck and a 5 star hotel stay for three nights at the end and it didn't cost that much. Albeit that was 8 years ago now, costs probably have gone up a little but I think it was about 4500 total including flights. I actually didnt go in the end as I found out I was pregnant and they have zeka virus there.
It works out just under 400 a month she would need to earn and save between now and then. It's a huge commitment.

Lol I can imagine parents in the 70s. "Sarah the last thing Borneo needs is you and your inexperienced and entitled chums going over there to 'help'. If you want to do something useful go and tidy your bedroom" 😆😆😆

You’ve left your child’s name in the screenshot. Just thought I’d mention it in case you didn’t realise.

This is crazy money. We spend that on our summer holiday for all of us. Only a tiny minority of parents are going to be able to afford this. I could pay for it at a push but then I would feel guilty about paying out so much for one child to go on holidays. I just can’t imagine many parents have this laying around and have enough money to know the other kids will get something as well.

£6 and half k is a crazy amount of money - it much more than I spend on our annual holiday for a family of 4 including spending money. There is no way I would agree to a school trip that cost almost 20% of our annual family budget! Just no way on Earth. I’d complain to the school and explain to dd it’s not happening.

And i am not sure any teachers go on the trip (and why would they want to anyway as others have pointed out). In my relative's case the accompanying responsible adult had not even been to the country before.
PS I voted YABU because of your response to your DD wanting to go. Just learn to say no.

That's bonkers and completely rotten of the school to have a salesperson in selling the trip to kids who have no idea what the family finances are.

I'm sure you won't be the only people in that situation. I'm really sorry.

OP, this is a con, basically. There are commercial companies who go round schools offering extra-curricular 'educational' or 'volunteer' trips to exotic places. DS's school had one to Morocco, I think it was between 2 and 3 grand. It was sold to them on the basis that they'd be dossing in a mountain village for 3 days and whilst there, help build a health centre or something. (I'm assuming they then knock it down in time for the next trip out there...) The rest of the time they're travelling and I think there was a camel trek where they got to camp outside for one night. That's what DS was attracted by. I spent some gentle time explaining that this was a trip very few of his classmates would be able to go on, and that when he was older, he'd be able to travel out there himself and have proper adventures, with people he actually wanted to go with. The idea that these trips are sold to parents on the basis that students do valuable volunteer or charity work is frankly insulting - anyone with half a brain can see that the 'work' is stuck in to justify the massive costs and self-fundraising, and give it a veneer of worth. I mean, who is going to want to sponsor someone or pay for jobs like car washing, etc, to fund 3 days of 'volunteer' work and a jolly?

You should complain to the school about this. Let me guess: it's an academy? They're probably getting a cut from it. This is what happens when the government allows schools to be run like businesses. It's disgusting.

My DDs were at boarding school and the school didn’t offer world challenge or Camps International. The trips were cut down by a new head and expensive ones went as dc couldn’t have Saturday jobs!

This opportunity should never have been spoken about in school time. It should be a heads up to parents and an invitation to an evening meeting. The school has succumbed to marketing and its poor leadership. They needed to explain how it works and what’s expected and then informed parents can attend the evening meeting and make their feelings known! I would think this was a non starter at your school unless poverty is a ruse!

For our trip I might be over budgeting but it’s a good few places with really lovely hotels and flights as well as a lot assigned for spending money and trips. we do trips ‘well’ and don’t apologise for it.

Point is - it’s £242 a day including flights, accommodation, food, trips and spending money. Whether or not it’s in the budget of the OP or should he offered considering the school demographic I don’t know, but I dont get why people feel entitled to go somewhere for less than the going rate. Pay what is due if you are doing it. Or bow out.

This sounds familiar, a similar wheeze came up with an acquaintance's kid. Again, the school was in a deprived area so I have no clue what planet the Head was on when the firm's reps were given permission to speak to the kids.

There are other projects that could offer her real adventure at much less cost. Instead of letting some rep flog her a dream, she could take a look at all the various opportunities, figure out what she might be able to afford & aim for her own adventure (& there's nothing wrong with taking a good pitch to the local Rotarians & all the other sources of grants/ awards/ etc once she's shown willing & started her fundraising).

When I was a teen I did some voluntary work in Switzerland & it was only when I got there that I realised I'd never seen real mountains before, I wandered round with my neck cricked upwards for days. All I had to fund was travel costs & my walking around money, food & accom were provided & I even got ski pass & equipment to use on my days off.

There are lots of opportunities to be found but it does require a bit of google mojo.

Utterly bonkers. I wonder why the school let them through the door? Is there a financial incentive for them to do that, I wonder? Very poor judgement. If you're on good terms with the Head, I'd be tempted to email saying that.

Does seems illogical from the school. How are they expecting parents of children attending a school in a deprived area to find £6500 - surely that is likely going to be money better spent/ earmarked elsewhere. Most people with that level of disposable income might not like to remain in a deprived area for example.

Having said that though, it is 1.5 years away. It’s not going to be easy at all but maybe when she turns 16 she can pick up a part time job that would help offset parental contribution. But ultimately if it’s unrealistic you’re better off setting expectations now.

Surely she must know that it is not a given that she can go? It’s a really big cost even if you’re quite well off. My family never had money concerns when I was growing up but I wouldn’t have been on that trip and I wouldn’t have expected to… best tell her quickly that unfortunately it’s too expensive

With that money the whole family could go on holiday! Honestly the school are ridiculous and seem not to know where there pupils come from and show a bit of bloody empathy!
I feel your pain, forking out for a ski trip currently for DD2 while also paying my Dd1’s accommodation costs at uni 😬 I am a single parent on a good salary but struggling .