Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Can't afford Dd's very expensive school trip

1000 replies

Wario54 · 03/12/2025 21:52

My DD is 15 and in year 10 at the moment. We live a deprived part of the North of England. She goes to a local, state comprehensive

My DH has had his hours reduced at work in recent months. I work part time in retail (can't get anymore hours unfortunately - I have asked). Like a lot of families, we're financially struggling to keep our heads above water. But we get by (somehow) and I never take the little things for granted (that we have each other, food on the table and a roof over our heads). We've not told our kids about our financial worries - they know there isn't much spare money but not about the extent of our problems.

Dd has come home tonight with a letter and great excitement about another school trip. They had a guest speaker today (external travel company) in assembly today enthusing them about a trip to Borneo of all places. It's 4 weeks long and the cost is £6,500. Currently planned for June/July 2027 (just after her GCSE'S). They are expected to fundraise some of the cost themselves (bake sales, sponsored walks etc) but we will have to pay the majority if she's to go.

She said today that she'll get a Saturday job to cover some of the cost herself. But even with that, taken into account we just can't afford it. It breaks my heart, because I'd love to give her that opportunity but I know we simply can't.

She's full of excitement about trekking through the jungle and cuddling Orangutans. But how do I tell her when she's already set her heart on it? 😢

I just think the school are being completely ridiculous by offering such an expensive trip in a cost of living crisis.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
Bumblebee72 · 04/12/2025 16:46

KetchUpWithEverythingPls · 04/12/2025 14:39

what are you wanting the Daily Mail to do - stop companies from running the trips completely

At this ridiculous price - yes.

Show quote history

These companies make a 30% profit so it does seem wrong that kids are fundraising in the name of going to help a less developed country yet £2,000 goes into the shareholders pockets.

Kevinbaconsrealwife · 04/12/2025 16:47

God in heaven I’ve heard it all now….£6500 ???? Even if I won the lottery I’d rather take her myself and do some charity work over there….many years ago ( 12 years ago) my lovely DSD was talking breezily about a 5 day trip to Kenya in year 11 that was going to cost £1100….i said we would pay half if her mum paid half …but it never went ahead….was too expensive then….and had a zero uptake at the school……just when you think you’ve heard it all 🙄

pigsDOfly · 04/12/2025 17:01

DarkPassenger1 · 04/12/2025 13:20

If your DD is captivated by the idea of volunteering with animals, point her in the direction of your local shelter. As a teen I absolutely adored animals (still do of course) and did all sorts from 14yr onwards. Volunteered at the RSPCA, walking retired greyhounds, and at the cats protection league shelter. It was amazing, really hard and dirty work and so rewarding. I did it from 14-19 with a few breaks here and there.

It's a good less for your DD that yes, it's really important to volunteer and help others, let's look closer to home. What good can she do with her time that is more efficient and less resource heavy than travelling all that way to do nothing skilled? What can she do locally? :)

This above is a really good idea to suggest to your DD OP. It'll be far more hands on with cuddly animals than a ridiculously expensive trip to Borneo.

Nobody is going to be cuddling Orangutans on the trip, the idea of which, I suspect, is making it so attractive to her.

It's a simple fact that this trip is far too expensive for most people to afford. And attempting to fund raise it herself whilst studying for her exams is completely unrealistic.

Very unfair of the school.

HildegardP · 04/12/2025 17:18

GlomOfNit · 03/12/2025 23:48

This sort of thing really boils my piss, because they're trading on middle-class guilt and the compulsion to 'do good things'. There is nothing wrong with a teenager going on a wholly sybaritic trip for a lot less money, for heavens' sake! Grin But dress it up as a voluntourism enterprise and everyone feels they have to.

This is slightly different, but - I live in an affluent rural area where there's a charity active. It sends groups of teens (and parents sometimes - if they can pay their way) to a sub-Saharan African country for a fortnight most years. They've sponsored a small community which has an orphanage and church centre that they 'help', and the teens who go out build, I kid you not, mud huts. It's so bloody patronising! Yes, the teenagers play with and work with the children there, I'm sure there's some reciprocal good feels - but do impoverished children in Africa really need privileged white kids from the UK coming out, playing footy with them for two weeks and then buggering back beyond the veil, leaving them with some used shoes and second-hand toys, and presumably a sense of bewilderment and resentfulness? It really is the definition of White Saviourdom.

I've tried, over the years, to chat about this with friends whose teenage children have gone out, having fundraised 1000's in order to do so. (and that's another matter - imagine a small village where maybe 10 teenagers are all trying to raise a lot of money, each, in order to fund their way. How many bake sales, car washes, fashion swaps, babysitting etc need to happen, within the same small village , in order to send them there?) Anyway, you get shot down in flames. Don't I know that it's a Really Good Thing they're doing? That it's life-changing for their teenage child to see how children who have nothing live (because obviously these orphans are basically props and learning opportunities)? That the shoes I'd throw away because I wouldn't wish them on anyone else after my child's worn them to death for a year should be put in a suitcase and taken out there 'because those kids have nothing, they'd be grateful for these'? You can talk until you're blue in the face about alternative charitable models, dependence, White Saviour charity, and the economics of carting unwanted tat halfway around the world by plane rather than buying things out there in the local economy. You will be branded heartless and cold.

All the teenagers get a cool-looking thing to put on their CVs and uni applications and they're mostly pretty open about that being why they do it.

It would be instructive to compare what the cost of just one of these jollies could do if simply donated via a direct giving project. It's rather hard to go on justifying them when such comparisons are made.

Newmumatlast · 04/12/2025 17:24

SingleSexSpacesInSchools · 03/12/2025 21:54

Christ alive that’s mental. Six and a half GRAND?!?! What planet are these people on?!?!

sent my DD on one expensive trip. £1600 and I regret it, paid it in lumps over a year. (Also year ten. Not very deprived south coast)

that’s just cruel to dangle that in fro t of kids when only 1% can go I’d be writing a massive letter of complaint to the governors right now. Genuinely. Kick off. A £600 trip to Europe would’ve just as good.

Edited

100% agree

Northernladdette · 04/12/2025 17:38

My son came home wanting to go on a skiing trip. He’d never shown any interest in it before then. I said a firm no 😣

FreyaW · 04/12/2025 17:38

Wario54 · 03/12/2025 21:52

My DD is 15 and in year 10 at the moment. We live a deprived part of the North of England. She goes to a local, state comprehensive

My DH has had his hours reduced at work in recent months. I work part time in retail (can't get anymore hours unfortunately - I have asked). Like a lot of families, we're financially struggling to keep our heads above water. But we get by (somehow) and I never take the little things for granted (that we have each other, food on the table and a roof over our heads). We've not told our kids about our financial worries - they know there isn't much spare money but not about the extent of our problems.

Dd has come home tonight with a letter and great excitement about another school trip. They had a guest speaker today (external travel company) in assembly today enthusing them about a trip to Borneo of all places. It's 4 weeks long and the cost is £6,500. Currently planned for June/July 2027 (just after her GCSE'S). They are expected to fundraise some of the cost themselves (bake sales, sponsored walks etc) but we will have to pay the majority if she's to go.

She said today that she'll get a Saturday job to cover some of the cost herself. But even with that, taken into account we just can't afford it. It breaks my heart, because I'd love to give her that opportunity but I know we simply can't.

She's full of excitement about trekking through the jungle and cuddling Orangutans. But how do I tell her when she's already set her heart on it? 😢

I just think the school are being completely ridiculous by offering such an expensive trip in a cost of living crisis.

You'll just have to tell her the truth about your financial situation
She's 15..sit her down amd tell her it's just not possible. Show her if needs be.

Smoggy1 · 04/12/2025 17:38

Is it world challenge? They are meant to fundraise the vast majority of it themselves. Part of the point of it is learning that skill. They ran one to central America when I was at school in 2012 - parents barely contributed anything because the kids raised the money themselves.

Disenchantedone · 04/12/2025 17:39

Wow.... That is a shitload of bake sales! I have never heard of a school trip costing that!
Speak to the school to get the correct information, then as i suspect they might cancel it due to lack of numbers going. The insurance will be phenomenal...

BaileyHorse · 04/12/2025 17:39

Wow as others have said that is very very expensive and I don’t know many who would be able to afford that to be honest! That would pay for a few years of holidays in this house for all of us let alone 1 person. I am sure it will be a fabulous experience for her but I think the cost is very excessive.

Hollybobs1 · 04/12/2025 17:40

I'd be complaining too, that's a ridiculous amount of money!

lilacmamacat · 04/12/2025 17:41

On the one hand, schools should take parents' financial situations into account to enable as many children as possible to participate in an event/trip/etc by allowing longer payment terms or referring families to local charities who can support this kind of thing, but on the other hand, what planet is this school living on? This is the sort of thing I'd expect from a fee paying school perhaps but not a bog standard comprehensive. Complete joke, and I suspect totally unrealistic for loads of families.

Just tell her it's out of your budget even if she does get a job. Get her to work out how much she'd earn so that she understands that even with that it's a non starter. Might be a good time to start introducing her to financial planning and get her to understand how much money living in the real world requires.

RebeccaRedhat · 04/12/2025 17:42

I was emailed similar from out school this week. £5800 for 18 days in Zimbabwe. My eldest skied last year £1500, my middle is skiing in February £1800. No way on earth are either of them going on this trip.
The one you have been offered sounds way more fun than ours rhiugj, id love to cuddle.an orangutan, but the costs are shocking. I think its disgusting that they tell the kids all about it 1st and hype them up, without giving a toss that 90% of parents probably can't afford it! And rhe parents become the bad guy and feel they're letting their children down.
I would suggest getting in their fast and telling her she just can't go, it's too much, before she's made all the plans with her friends (who probably also are not going!). It'll be easier for her to hear it now than in 2 or 3 months time.

Cosyblankets · 04/12/2025 17:46

When I was a kid I didn't ask to go on any abroad trip because I knew we couldn't afford it. We were not exactly poor but we didn't have spare money. It was a non issue. I was not scarred for life by not going on a coach to France which is what it was then. As an adult I speak fluent French so it certainly didn't affect my education.

PermanentlyExhuastedPigeon · 04/12/2025 17:48

There are loads of options to do this kind of thing with organised providers - it's not a now or never situation.

My DDs school planned a similar trip when she was in Year 10 which was about half the price but way out of reach for us (ultimately it didn't go ahead because of Covid anyway).

She now at Uni and this summer was able to spend a month in South Africa working with women's charities - the cost was approx £2800 which included her flights and accommodation in a shared house, transfers to and from the airport, an orientation session and all the placement stuff. Because she qualifies for max student loan and a bursary all but £200 was funded by a scholarship scheme and she just covered her food and socialising costs.

So please let your DD know that although it's disappointing she will have other opportunities.

AmazingBouncingFerret · 04/12/2025 17:50

This sounds like Camps International. My daughter and a few of her friends are going to Borneo with them after their GCSE’s in 2026.
It’s weird that they had the assembly without you there though, usually they do the hard sell with parents present.

Lizchapman · 04/12/2025 17:52

Breaking it down that’s about £90 a week over 18 months. Can you work out a plan with her for how she can earn or make that amount? If you look at it like that she may realise she’s gonna have to work very hard but it is possible or may decide it’s not doable rather than you having to say no.

opencecilgee · 04/12/2025 17:55

I would write to the school and complain

why are they pushing such an extravagant trip?

Stompythedinosaur · 04/12/2025 17:55

I was ready to say that I support schools running a range of trips, but actually this is a ridiculous cost.

My dc's school runs a similar trip, though only for a fortnight and to Kenya. The cost is £2300 and for the past three years the kids have all managed to fundraise the full cost (with significant support from the teachers involved).

I can't see any excuse for not choosing a trip more within the realms of possibility!

Decorhate · 04/12/2025 17:56

I hate those sort of trips where kids end up almost begging off people they (or more likely their parents) know in order to raise the funds.

OP you need to have a tough conversation with your child. There is no way I'd be signing her up for this even if money was not tight. Just say no. She's a big girl now and needs a reality check about your family finances.

If she still thinks she can find it herself, get her to sit down and so the figures.

And definitely do not sign up thinking some miracle will happens and then expect the school to cover the inevitable shortfall.

Climbingrosexx · 04/12/2025 17:56

How irresponsible of the school, think I would be making a complaint there. Also I can't imagine she would be the only one not going. That's crazy money

Ambridgefan · 04/12/2025 17:56

Most secondary schools seems to offer these trips and have done for many years it was offered when my children were at school over 20 years ago. The idea was that the children should raise most of the money for the trip. I told my children they couldn't go as it was unlikely they would be able to raise enough and we couldn't afford it. Most parents said no a small group went.
I think you just have to say no.

Bumblebee72 · 04/12/2025 18:02

opencecilgee · 04/12/2025 17:55

I would write to the school and complain

why are they pushing such an extravagant trip?

Maybe they get commission!

Calliekins · 04/12/2025 18:04

That's an awful position to be put in as a parent and I imagine you won't be the only parent to tell their child they can't go. Just ridiculous to think people have a spare £6,500 to spend on one family member. Whilst naturally being super disappointed I'm sure your daughter will appreciate that's an awful lot of money to find.

Phonicshaskilledmeoff · 04/12/2025 18:04

Is it an actual school trip or an explorers one that’s nothing to do with the school. If it’s the latter then no, I don’t think it’s unreasonable for the school to show the kids the opportunities as these shouldn’t and aren’t just limited to rich kids and encourage hard work and entrepreneurial activities. the expectation is that this kids raise all the money themselves. My sister did it, though it was over a decade ago and about 4k.

The kids in our school worked hard and raised the money themselves - many worked on top of the fundraising. They did things like organise the prom for the year below.

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In
This thread is not accepting new messages.