Can't afford Dd's very expensive school trip

[Wario54]

My DD is 15 and in year 10 at the moment. We live a deprived part of the North of England. She goes to a local, state comprehensive

My DH has had his hours reduced at work in recent months. I work part time in retail (can't get anymore hours unfortunately - I have asked). Like a lot of families, we're financially struggling to keep our heads above water. But we get by (somehow) and I never take the little things for granted (that we have each other, food on the table and a roof over our heads). We've not told our kids about our financial worries - they know there isn't much spare money but not about the extent of our problems.

Dd has come home tonight with a letter and great excitement about another school trip. They had a guest speaker today (external travel company) in assembly today enthusing them about a trip to Borneo of all places. It's 4 weeks long and the cost is £6,500. Currently planned for June/July 2027 (just after her GCSE'S). They are expected to fundraise some of the cost themselves (bake sales, sponsored walks etc) but we will have to pay the majority if she's to go.

She said today that she'll get a Saturday job to cover some of the cost herself. But even with that, taken into account we just can't afford it. It breaks my heart, because I'd love to give her that opportunity but I know we simply can't.

She's full of excitement about trekking through the jungle and cuddling Orangutans. But how do I tell her when she's already set her heart on it? 😢

I just think the school are being completely ridiculous by offering such an expensive trip in a cost of living crisis.

Yep - I have the same letter! I think there’s a presentation on it for parents next week. There was one done this year too, the kids went to Kenya. Neither of mine even mentioned it - they know full well that I can’t afford that. University is going to be expensive enough and takes priority.

Completely tone deaf from the school! Who on earth has got £6k in the bank that they can give to their child for a trip?
I would definitely be contacting the school to complain - they are being so unrealistic about the trip. Fundraising may help but not if there are lots of kids trying to raise money within the same community.

That's ridiculous. Even if you weren't in a deprived part of the North. Even if you weren't struggling for money. £6,500 on a school trip is utterly bonkers.

I wouldn't feel even the slightest bit bad in telling her she can't go. However excited she is by orangutans. Because I have more spare cash than you by the sounds of it and absolutely no way would I spend the equivalent of 2 trips for three of us, on 1 trip for one of us.

Bollocks to that... I have a good income and DP not bad. We have had similar from both kids schools (one state and one private) and its a hard no for anything above £1000 (and even that was a stretch).

That is a WILD amount of money for a trip to Borneo!! The flights are expensive but once you’re there it’s very cheap.

DH and I went in 2019. 3 weeks, travelled through KK to Mount Kinabalu to Turtle Island, then on to Sepilok with the orangutans. Everything, all in, for two adults, was 3k. How on earth is costing more than double that for one teenager?!

Thats a crazy amount, totally unrealistic in this cost of living crisis. I’m always suspicious of these types of trips too, why soo expensive, private travel company-who's making money?
To advertise to the children first is very manipulative too, all that emotional pressure on the parents. They should send details to the parents first to see if families can afford it
Our DD school said about a trip to New York , approx £2000 for 4 nights-no thanks!
They were surprised not many families were interested, get with it!

The children i’ve known who manage to do these expensive trips are from very privileged families, it didnt make them pleasant people once they were adults.

That's trustafarian cost. Who else is going to allocate 6.5k (plus expenses of the trip) for a solo holiday? That's a chunk of uni money, a first car or a chunk towards a house deposit. All of which will need paying in the 5-10 year future.

Don’t worry, my school and that was back in the 1960s offered a ski trip which naturally my parents could not afford and I survived ok! I never held it against them!

I feel your pain. We have a similar situation except that it is for a GCSE trip for one of ds subjects. £3.5k, no fundraising or anything. I wrote a letter to the school and was fobbed off

Dd was going to Peru on the same sort of scheme, they were helping to build a school. The cost was about the same and they had to raise a good proportion themselves. We started looking at grant schemes and actually found a few viable options, although there was no guarantee of winning these grants..Anyhow, as others have said the trip was very quickly cancelled, ostensibly because the scheme leader was leaving Peru, although I suspect the uptake was poor.

That is an extraordinary amount of money for 1 person to go on a trip like that. It's very unfair of the school to be putting that on offer when the majority won't be able to go. That would be out of reach for most people at that stage of their lives. Complain about the whole thing, the school should be aware of the demographic of the catchment area, it just seems cruel.

I wouldn't complain to the school. It will be an elite few going on a trip like that. They couldn't take them all any how even of they wanted to due to logistics, staffing etc. so why should those who can afford it not get the chance? Learning that she can't afford it right now is a lesson in itself. Nothing to be gained from saying well 'we can't afford it so nobody should be allowed to go" It's selfish of you! There will be some families that can't afford even the trips you can afford- would you want no trips at all because of that?

Outrageous and other families will be thinking similarly. I would explain very calmly to her that it's out of the question. I'm retired and I still wouldn't spend such a ridiculous amount on a trip. Also the kids tickets have to subsidise the accompanying teachers, bet you didn't know that!

It's a good life lesson. start involving her in the household finances in a constructive way now so she can really see. it'll be a non issue as other kids won't be going either.
xxx

If you're DD still wants to help build a school there are more local that need upgrading!

You wont be the only one who cant afford it. Its insane amount of money. Id suggest you look up price of holiday to Boreno it will be a fraction of that as you paying for teachers etc. tell her to get a Saturday job and go when she 18 or maybe suggest other things when older like camp America. £6.5k is price if a 2 week holiday fir family abroad somewhere nice. Thailand cuddling elephants also nowhere near this price.
you cant raise that sort of money through vinted cake sales etc.
and do complain to governors as another poster said it be as much fun £600 in Europe.

could you not sell your clothes, car, furniture etc, OP? And then maybe get a loan? Or a second job? @Wario54

Oh here we go- the freeloading teachers! How dare they not pay for the privilege of supervising a bunch of teenagers night and day in a stressful environment away from home! The cheek!

This - they are a total con. Parents should complain to the Head. They seem more of a thing in private schools or affluent areas, the kids end up getting donations from various relatives etc. A month in Borneo !!! Ridiculous.

Wow 6.5k!!! I do wonder what planet these schools are on sometimes. It's like they aren't reading the room at all. I would be surprised if anyone goes. Not many people have that money at their disposal for a 1 person trip.

I am sorry, but that is a ridiculous amount of money in this day and age!! How the hell do they come up with such a ridiculously expensive trip? I would get parents together and speak to the parent council. At that cost per person, fundraising is hardly going to scratch the surface per person. Shocking 😲

I grew up in the cotswolds and my DF was earning 6 figures in the 90s, but I still never went on any of these trips, and never had any real expectation that I would. Your DD can dream, but you need to teach her to manage her own expectations.

A suggestion. DD will be 17 when this trip doesn't take takes place. Why don't you put it to her that if she waits until she finishes school, she has time to fundraise with a group of friends and organise THEMSELVES a similar experience, far far cheaper? She and her friends can have a lovely time planning it online and organising a personalised trip doing the things THEY want to do, and they will be adults by then so can do all this stuff they plan. Even the initial excited meeting with friends to do their research will show them how the school is being ripped off by this company.

(And I totally endorse all the comments about the fact this should have been run past parents before being sold to kids, BTW.)

My own prediction is that if the kids buy my idea, and save money, their priorities may well change by the time they are ready to consider university, budgeting for that, and all that entails. But maybe I am wrong and a group of happy excited 18 year olds might set off for a truly wonderful self-organised Borneo holiday.

(Another thought - what happens if the political situation there changes between now and any planned holiday, including the £6,500 one?)

What the hell!!! That is absolutely ridiculous! I can't imagine that many families would be able to afford this. Why didn't they choose something that's more manageable for most families? I'd be furious and make a complaint to the school!

Whaaaat!?!

Don't worry, I doubt many will.

The children in my family and extended family all go to expensive independents in affluent areas and never have I heard or seen a school trip suggested at that level.

Please don't feel bad. It was remiss of the school to suggest it, and your DD, much as I know you'd love to spoil her, is old enough to understand that is a hefty sum for a jaunt.

Maybe could you all start saving towards her doing something similar when she leaves school, now she's got the bug for it?

Why are you even giving this a second thought. Shut it down, now. I wouldn't have even entertained it. Ridiculous.