Can't afford Dd's very expensive school trip

[Wario54]

My DD is 15 and in year 10 at the moment. We live a deprived part of the North of England. She goes to a local, state comprehensive

My DH has had his hours reduced at work in recent months. I work part time in retail (can't get anymore hours unfortunately - I have asked). Like a lot of families, we're financially struggling to keep our heads above water. But we get by (somehow) and I never take the little things for granted (that we have each other, food on the table and a roof over our heads). We've not told our kids about our financial worries - they know there isn't much spare money but not about the extent of our problems.

Dd has come home tonight with a letter and great excitement about another school trip. They had a guest speaker today (external travel company) in assembly today enthusing them about a trip to Borneo of all places. It's 4 weeks long and the cost is £6,500. Currently planned for June/July 2027 (just after her GCSE'S). They are expected to fundraise some of the cost themselves (bake sales, sponsored walks etc) but we will have to pay the majority if she's to go.

She said today that she'll get a Saturday job to cover some of the cost herself. But even with that, taken into account we just can't afford it. It breaks my heart, because I'd love to give her that opportunity but I know we simply can't.

She's full of excitement about trekking through the jungle and cuddling Orangutans. But how do I tell her when she's already set her heart on it? 😢

I just think the school are being completely ridiculous by offering such an expensive trip in a cost of living crisis.

What a bonkers idea, on many levels.

Hi @Wario54 Just echoing others here. I think this is a major error on the school’s part, is unrealistic, overpriced, and something that almost all parents will say no to. At £6500, I wouldn’t be surprised if every parent said no!

I think travel and voluntary work abroad is hugely valuable in principle, but in our school (sounds like a similar context), or in fact in any school, I would be extremely wary of promoting a trip like this, for these reasons:

1. I think it’s very overpriced for what it is - not good value at all and the school should’ve looked at similar options at a lower price if they wanted to offer something like this.
2. It’s stratospherically expensive and I think would have even pretty wealthy parents’ eyes watering. I think even most private schools would think twice about offering a trip of this cost.
3. It’s badly done - even if the school was offering, say, a £2000 trip along similar lines, they should’ve written to parents first to gauge interest and held a meeting/presentation outside of school time with optional attendance so that parents could approach this appropriately with their children.

Please don’t feel bad about saying no to this - but as others have said, maybe this is a great opportunity to have a conversation with your daughter about fundraising and budgeting for something similar, but more affordable, in the future. Would she like to start planning for her own trip at 16 or 18, maybe with a couple of friends?

YANBU.

However how has your daughter got to 15 and she doesn't realise that this would be impossible for your family? Do you not teach her about money?

There will be only a handful for whom this is a possibility.

Don’t go to the governors - they are there for when the schools own complaints process hasn’t worked for you. Go to the school and complain. Speak to other parents and gather opinions. At that price I would be surprised if anyone is able to go!

The child likely hasn’t clocked the price.. just that there is a school trip and it sounds amazing. Especially if she’s usually allowed to go on them.

The price is really high for what it is. I would be reluctant to say a flat no though - and just say if she can raise the money she can do it but we can only contribute £x amount. She's old enough to work and save money and think for herself if it's worth the cost or not. If she never gets to the amount, at least she'd have built up a nice pot of savings for herself.

The school should know who they are putting up in front of their pupils - totally irresponsible of them to use an excuse like we weren't aware of a hard sell. Is there a teacher around who hasn't heard of World Challenge and knows exactly what trips like this entail - it's been going on for a very long time?

That's outrageously expensive and ridiculously out of touch.
When l was about the same age, some of my friends were going on a school exchange to our twin town in Germany. I asked if l could go and was told yes, so l put my name down.
Come the time to pay (l can't remember if it was the deposit or the rest of it now, it was a very long time ago) my mother said I couldn't go. When l asked why, l was told "Because l say so." That was it. No other explanation.
I know now that they couldn't afford it. But at the time, having to go to school, and say to the teachers, in front of my friends, that l couldn't go, was mortifying.
And of course, my friends asked why l wasn't going and l felt so stupid saying 'because my mam says so'.
If she'd just been honest and said they didn't have the money, l'd have been pissed off and disappointed, but at least l'd have known why, rather than just thinking she was being nasty.

£6500 is a hell of a lot of money any time, but in the current financial situation, it's way out of reach for most people. I think all you can do is be honest and explain. She might not like it, but it's truthful.

My daughter was offered that at her state comprehensive. All the kids got excited but then reality sunk in and no-one in her year went. Crazy amount of money!

Well here’s a thought op. Your child is 15! Not a 6yo who won’t be able to understand financial difficulties. She is 15 fgs. A simple we can’t afford it should do. No need to indulge her with something so utterly ridiculous. We can easily afford this type of trip twice over and we wouldn’t even consider it for a non family trip. Why are you even wringing hands over it.

sit your 15yo very big child down and tell her it’s a NO. What on earth is she even thinking. If she can’t figure out your lifestyle and a 6.5k trip doesn’t go together, then you really need to have a good conversation with her.

Yes please do not bother the governors with this!!

They'll just bat it back anyway if it hasn't been through the school's complaints process first.

Your school trips are around the £6500 mark, really?

Both mine are at different London private schools which offer pretty pricey trips. I've never seen one at this level.

DS school has just launched a trip to Japan for next year, it's a ten day trip costing £3500. The ski trips which are to the US and Canada are usually around the £1200-1400 mark, the ones to Europe are less.

We haven't sent them on any of these trips as we ski as a family and we have other holidays, we can't afford to spend £1-3k on one child's trip. We have however sent them on other less expensive trips - language exchanges etc.

I think posters are mistaking by thinking it's the school organising the trip. I used to be a teacher and those trips are organised by private companies,they are basically CV fillers for well off pupils. Part of it is that you are meant to show initiative by raising the funds yourself but that is easier if your parents are well connected and you have opportunities to sell over priced muffins at a bake sell or such thing.
As for the school letting the speaker in,I assume that if they turn them down,the school could be accused to not giving their pupils the same opportunities as better off schools.

And I thought £650 just before Christmas was bad enough!

Just tell her no because you can't afford it, she'll get over it

what are you wanting the Daily Mail to do - stop companies from running the trips completely

At this ridiculous price - yes.

School trips that cost the same as a years salary?

Sickening really.

I still fail to see why you would complain about a school offering an exciting opportunity, completely optional for all and designed to be fundraiser by the students themselves. If the student can’t fund it they don’t go. Are the trips overpriced? Probably yes. Do those that go have an amazing experience? Probably also yes. Lots of things that schools do only get taken up by a few students and lots of things are overpriced- D of E gold for example costs a fortune.

Morally reprehensible. I'd be down at that school pulling the Heady over the desk for this exploitative, f#cking nonsense.

Bloody hell, if you can go to Borneo on the back of a cake sale I'm gonna take up baking!!

In all seriousness, this is insane, and yes, more than a bit cruel

I remember coming home with a letter (showing my age!) about a trip to Germany with school

2k for a week (plus passport and other bits)

My mother flat out said I wasn't going as she didnt have that sort of money

(she did have it,she just didnt want to spend it on me-for context,my brothers got to go and she has paid for them to go on holidays as adults)

I remember being so upset but soon got over it (made harder by all my friends going)

Fast forward to my own dcs coming home with the same letters-4k for 5 days somewhere (I cant remember)

I simply didnt have the money-single parent on benefits-that was more than 5 months rent

They got over it in the end

(my mother didnt help by telling them I 'was raking it in' and was 'just being tight' im now nc with her)

If it were the case that the school was not fully aware of what the speaker was there to speak about, that would be FAR more deeply concerning than allowing a World Challenge type organisation to give them a sales pitch (and I think World Challenge is terrible idea).

is it a religious organisation offering a missionary type trip?
like teen mania?
if so, don't touch with a bargepole. total rip off.
and I thought 500£ for 5 days skiing is expensive

I really don’t see the big deal about this. The kids join up with other schools on these global challenge trips anyway so it’s fine, even if only a handful take it up? There’s been plenty of trips offered to my kids over the years (bog standard comp) - some they fancied, some they didn’t; some we could afford and some we couldn’t. In fact I remember the same when I was at school in the dim and distant 80s - there was a Mediterranean cruise which a lot of the wealthier kids went on but most couldn’t afford. No problem. Why would you need to complain?