Can't afford Dd's very expensive school trip

[Wario54]

My DD is 15 and in year 10 at the moment. We live a deprived part of the North of England. She goes to a local, state comprehensive

My DH has had his hours reduced at work in recent months. I work part time in retail (can't get anymore hours unfortunately - I have asked). Like a lot of families, we're financially struggling to keep our heads above water. But we get by (somehow) and I never take the little things for granted (that we have each other, food on the table and a roof over our heads). We've not told our kids about our financial worries - they know there isn't much spare money but not about the extent of our problems.

Dd has come home tonight with a letter and great excitement about another school trip. They had a guest speaker today (external travel company) in assembly today enthusing them about a trip to Borneo of all places. It's 4 weeks long and the cost is £6,500. Currently planned for June/July 2027 (just after her GCSE'S). They are expected to fundraise some of the cost themselves (bake sales, sponsored walks etc) but we will have to pay the majority if she's to go.

She said today that she'll get a Saturday job to cover some of the cost herself. But even with that, taken into account we just can't afford it. It breaks my heart, because I'd love to give her that opportunity but I know we simply can't.

She's full of excitement about trekking through the jungle and cuddling Orangutans. But how do I tell her when she's already set her heart on it? 😢

I just think the school are being completely ridiculous by offering such an expensive trip in a cost of living crisis.

I think there are relatively few parents who could comfortably shell out £6500 for one child, even with a couple of years' notice. Realistically there is no possibility that a few cake sales etc would raise anything close to this sum; your child would have to be doing something like a Saturday job and a paper round (if such things exist any more) on top of all their school work, which isn't necessarily desirable particularly if they are preparing for GCSEs or A levels. DH and I are reasonably comfortably off, but would still struggle to find £6,500 on demand.

Then there's the factor that if you spend all this on one child you would feel morally bound to do the same for a second and any subsequent children, which gets really expensive. And God help any parents of twins or triplets.

OP, I suspect your daughter has already discovered that most of her schoolfriends have been told it's not possible, so you may find this isn't as disappointing as you think.

That is really twattish of the school - I’d be wondering if the company is some connection of a teacher or governor tbh because what is the idea there? I’m all for expanding people’s horizons but this kind of trip isn’t doing anything much for either the kids or the place they’re visiting is it?

We’re West Yorkshire pretty affluent area and our extra school trips are also around this mark.

We told our DD when she had the chance of a ski trip in Yr8 that it was too much as meant we couldn’t then go away as a family. She had FOMO for a few days and then got it, we have paid for her end of year trips and for a trip to Paris as part of her course next year.

I personally think that it doesn’t do your DCs any harm talking about money and how much things cost and this is all relative to life in general.

Yes Ds private school runs similar. I tried to keep my mouth zipped shut about it but thankfully DS was picked for the South Africa rugby trip instead where they did a modicum of charity work by bringing over old kit items requested by a local school.
There are deprived areas local to us and any number of worthy charities that the DCs could support. Still better I guess than my grown nephew going over with bis church to Mexico to build houses - considering his usual daily activity consists of wfh on the bed and ordering deliveroo, I would seriously worry about the structural integrity of any shack he was involved in constructing.

Have just realised that is almost double in real terms what my entire gap year placement cost me and that was 6 months and I actually was living with local people, working, and learning about the world. Maybe have a look at what she could at 18 which would be a real adventure and do her CV some good, not a glorified school trip. Something for her to aim for and look forward to - and cheaper.

I agree that this is a ridiculous amount of money for a trip - even if there is 18 months in which to raise the money.

I would also be having words with the head. I think it’s cruel to dangle this in front of children who have no chance of being able to go.

I would feel guilty if I wasn’t able to afford £100 on a trip to Europe for my child, but this is very different. Mine had the option of a similar trip when they were at school a few years ago (Costa Rica if I remember rightly, at the cost of about £3,500). I felt absolutely no guilt at all about saying no, and we were in a much more financially secure position than you are.

Deeply problematic and ethically questionnable, are the school not able to read the room? It reminds me of the episode of This Country where the MLM woman gives a speech about joining the juice pyramid scheme, dangles a carrot but throws in the caveat that they will be required to pay a hefty upfront deposit to join. I would make a complaint, the amount of money they are expecting would be ridiculous coming from a private school in the South East.

this exactly. Its morally wrong.

Lol that's insane. I wouldn't worry OP, nobody will be able to afford it and it'll be cancelled as even if a couple kids can go, it won't be enough to justify it. I have to query what they're thinking even offering this.

I remember at secondary school them offering a trip to China which was a couple grand, we all went along to the session where it was floated and I remember my parents laughing on the way home in the car about the cost very much with a 'of course you can't go lol, nobody will be able to' attitude. I didn't feel hard done by or frustrated or upset, it taught me a bit about money and realistic expectations!

This could be a good lesson for your DD. Calculate how much she'd have to save each week/month to have 6500 by the time of the trip and she'll soon click that it's literally not possible. Don't be ashamed of saying no, it's unaffordable. It's a crucial lesson for kids to learn, that money doesn't grow on trees, is a finite resources, and priorities have to take place first, like rent and food. Don't go into it acting like you've somehow let her down, because you haven't. If you've done a good job raising her so far she might be disappointed but she'll understand.

Say no and explain that the cost for one to go on the school trip could take the whole family to not just one but perhaps two or three holidays. Maybe suggest saving for a family holiday instead

I hit the wrong button but YANBU. That would be saving / fundraising £360 per month for 18 months. And the saved part of that money could go towards a house deposit.

Sounds like an unscrupulous company exploiting communities tbh. Cruel of them.

The ski trips at my school were only for the ultra wealthy kids. They were few and far between at my deprived school in Yorkshire. Most were only children and the majority were the sort who went skiing at the indoor slopes as a hobby anyway.

I was fortunate to go on my GCSE history trip to Poland and Germany. I think it was about 2k for 5 days and my separated parents split the monthly instalments to afford it. As I mentioned earlier on the thread, I couldn’t justify the similar trips for my DC. For starters, they were born in 3 consecutive years so I’d have to find 9k over 3 years for the trips. Secondly just think 3 days in New York or Iceland for 3k is a rip off. It didn’t include food either so it’d be closer to 4K once you factored in spending money.

You shouldn’t feel guilty OP. I honestly think the majority of kids can’t afford it and it’s actually a bit unfair.

She's old enough to learn about some things being too expensive to do. Life lesson

Bloody ridiculous cost of a trip btw. The whole family could have an amazing holiday for considerably less!

i didn’t do these when young (not wealthy) but it sounds as if some of these world challenge things are very poorly thought through, even aside from the white saviour stuff. Some of my friends who did them back in the day have some very comic stories. The best one is my husband’s group, who had to raise £2k (but in reality parents paid a lot as his fundraising activities definitely did not get near that), they had to plan a trek in Peru (and got lost and ran out of food because no one provided any guidance on it and a bunch of teenage boys have no idea how much they actually eat) and then arrived at the remote playground they were supposed to “build” with equipment to find that a brand new one had already been built and the local villagers were very bemused and laughing at these mad bedraggled teenagers!! Honestly, those skills could have been achieved via the DofE and some travelling at university or later on.

That's crazy, and it's not a school trip it's a private company making money out of parents.

Will there not be any school trips she can go on which are more reasonable? I mean they are never cheap but they usually give you at least six months to save up and they won't be six grand.

Quite apart from anything else she won't be allowed anywhere near an orangutan. They are very susceptible to human diseases. At any ethical sanctuary the public are kept well away from them.

Tell her to wait until she is 18 and do International Citizens service. It costs a fraction of what these trips do and is genuine volunteering. My daughter spent three months in Nepal with restless development. She stayed with the local headmaster and along with other volunteers worked locally on projects. It was an incredible experience. She then came back and did Camp America. OK it means taking a gap year but the financial costs are much lower

Yes that's along the lines of what I would expect, £1000- £1500 for a trip to somewhere in Europe and at least six months, preferably 12 month's notice.

Is this a world challenge trip ? Read up on them , they are not only mega expensive but children have died in them

A friend’s teacher dd, before she had her own dcs, used to accompany some of these foreign trips - usually only because nobody else could be persuaded to do it! On one occasion they were at the airport shortly before the return flight, when one of the teen boys (from an expensive London independent school) was arrested for shoplifting something. Talk about a drama!

They did eventually let him go in time for the flight, but as she said, ‘Never again!’

I work in an independent school and if a trip of that cost was offered I would expect no more than a couple (if that) would sign up. It’s ridiculous of the school to even offer it.

£1000-£1500 is do-able with 18mths notice and possible for kids to earn a chunk of money towards it.

This is ridiculous. We
are financially comfortable and i’d
never dream of paying this much.

Gutted for you and DD, trip sounds amazing but I work in a decent job and can't afford that sort of money for all of us.

School needs a head wobble and I dont say that often.

@freakingscared- come on, children have died in schools, in traffic accidents, on holidays world wide. You can’t say don’t send your child on a trip in case they die fgs.