Can't afford Dd's very expensive school trip

[Wario54]

My DD is 15 and in year 10 at the moment. We live a deprived part of the North of England. She goes to a local, state comprehensive

My DH has had his hours reduced at work in recent months. I work part time in retail (can't get anymore hours unfortunately - I have asked). Like a lot of families, we're financially struggling to keep our heads above water. But we get by (somehow) and I never take the little things for granted (that we have each other, food on the table and a roof over our heads). We've not told our kids about our financial worries - they know there isn't much spare money but not about the extent of our problems.

Dd has come home tonight with a letter and great excitement about another school trip. They had a guest speaker today (external travel company) in assembly today enthusing them about a trip to Borneo of all places. It's 4 weeks long and the cost is £6,500. Currently planned for June/July 2027 (just after her GCSE'S). They are expected to fundraise some of the cost themselves (bake sales, sponsored walks etc) but we will have to pay the majority if she's to go.

She said today that she'll get a Saturday job to cover some of the cost herself. But even with that, taken into account we just can't afford it. It breaks my heart, because I'd love to give her that opportunity but I know we simply can't.

She's full of excitement about trekking through the jungle and cuddling Orangutans. But how do I tell her when she's already set her heart on it? 😢

I just think the school are being completely ridiculous by offering such an expensive trip in a cost of living crisis.

That’s

Bloody hell! That's a bit extortionate! The fact that it was an external speaker basically "promoting" such a trip is a bit cheeky IMO. The furthest I went on school trips was to France/Germany/Switzerland for experiences related to our subjects - war memorials and battlegrounds for history, glaciers for geography and an exchange trip. I went on a few of them in separate years, but, even then, I'm sure the total cost wouldn't even add up to that. I get that it's 4 weeks, but for 1 trip....

Also to add, I was fortunate enough that my parents were able to afford to send me on these trips.

OP, please don't worry. Hardly anyone can afford these trips, even in affluent areas. Get your DD to work out how much she could earn and save and she will realise it's a lovely dream but better saved for a gap year or volunteering.

It’s astonishing how people think that teachers are looking for the next swizz.

We have to beg for staff to go on trips and pay on-costs to facilitate it sometimes.

I don’t know of a single teacher where I work who’d want to go on a 4 week trip with their students in their own time.

That’s ridiculous. I know it’s easy to say but please don’t feel bad. We wouldn’t even spend that amount on a family holiday. Our summer holiday cost £750 and I work in the City.

Unfortunately, this kind of thing is usually down to the HT being an idiot.

I worked in a school where the catchment had Multiple Indicators of Deprivation. The heidie was a prominent member of a certain church and was loud about proclaiming his Christian Values, but seemed more interest in glorifyng himself via the local media than glorifying the deity.

I recall him castigating the children at an assembly for not bringing in enough contributions for hampers for the deprived. We had to try to explain to the eejit that his pupils were the deprived.

Ditto the time he tried to get the kids to do a sponsored static row (on rowing machines he'd borrowed) and then lambasted the bairns for not getting enough sponsors.

He's no longer an HT.

There were no trips to Borneo, but there were a few trips to expensive destinations that only a handful could afford. Said trips also left us short-staffed.

We're lucky to be pretty comfortable financially, and we prioritise travel for a big chunk of our disposable income. I'm all for school trips and we've funded whatever trips our kids have wanted to go on (they lost a few key years to covid), including a couple of high-ticket ones to New York and South Africa. We would absolutely not be considering this - it's just too much money.

I'm sorry for your daughter about it and I can't imagine what the school were thinking!

I am actually surprised that this is allowed to happen in state schools. Call me cynical but I wonder if they are doing this to generate sales for the travel company.

This needs to be investigated thoroughly by the local education authority and governers. How did this get agreed by the schools leadership team? do the leadership team know anybody who owns or works in the travel company.

I am very angry on your behalf!

I don’t know if this is helpful but I thought I’d say as someone who is doing this similar trip.

DD is going to Borneo for ten days - cost of just over 4k so probably works out even more expensive than yours. TBH it is well beyond our reasonable means but the opportunity seemed so incredible - not to mention, I’ll never afford to take us all as a family, that we’ve gone for it. And have two years to pay it off.

The hard sell in the presentation was extraordinary- it felt very pressurised to immediately put down the deposit (which I borrowed) it would be really hard to listen to it, wanting to go and to know it’s out of reach so you have my sympathises it’s very unfair on the majority of the students who won’t be able to afford it.

I had no expectations of fundraising realistically raising much but to be fair the school have really gone with this and there’s some momentum and organisation of fundraising ideas. But I said to DD realistically every child going has parents who are going to pay for it ultimately.

Its been a good experience for us as DD is hugely motivated and has got her first job - she’s only doing a couple of hours and isn’t making loads but I’ve been surprised at how she has been reliable and committed to doing this and is putting every penny in the Borneo pot.

Trips like these are such a luxury but also quite a unique experience I think, so I’m really excited for DD. Just adding this to be honest as a perspective from someone who is going for it.

Please don't feel bad about this. Its an unfortunate fact of life that were money no object we'd all be able to provide our DC with amazing experiences.
However for the vast majority of us, we simply can't afford to, and have to cut our coats to our cloth. This is something children of all but the very wealthy have to learn and accept.
Your DD is 15 with her whole life ahead of her to have experiences. Borneo isnt going anywhere, and your DD can do this trip (far more cheaply!) if she chooses at some future point. She can set it as a goal for herself if she is very keen.
As far as the school presenting this to students, I'd be inclined to raise my concerns. It's highly unfair to get children so excited about an opportunity that will be beyond the means of the majority of people.

As sad as it might be for the DD, it's a no, period. It's crazy expensive and while she might really look forward to it, sometimes we just don't get what we want because the price is unreasonable. The school is totally ridiculous for suggesting it, I don't think many parents would be able to afford a trip like that.

I lived in Borneo and love when people discussing visiting but I am always astounded on the rare occasion I hear of school trips there. Who thought this was a realistic trip to even introduce to the kids?! I’d write a letter to the school because they probably underestimate the disappointment students feel over this.
Yes, kids should be offered all sorts of opportunities but this kind of shit is unfair. In the meantime I’d discuss planning with your DD this or similar for further along in the future, researching volunteer opportunities that she could do after final exams at 18 etc. Don’t rule it out as something that could never happen. My niece did part time work that paid for ‘cheap’ flights out to SE Asia then did a series of volunteer placements in different countries that covered room and meals.

6.5k? Great British pounds?
So in Euros, to me, thats what, not far off 8k?
That is beyond outrageous for any school to even suggest. Id be getting onto to them too and making a complaint. Heck id probably ring my local radio station.

I didnt say no to a lot for my lot when they were growing up, thankfully we could afford most stuff, but bloody hell, even if I could afford it I wouldn't pay that.
I think I paid 2k for her to go to China on an exchange for 2 weeks and that was a lot but she got a lot out of it, trips and Chinese culture classes, basically Chinese school for 2 weeks.
6k would pay for holidays for the whole family. Or feed them for a few month. Or a few months mortgage.
Tbh I wouldn't even be saying I couldn't afford it. I would be saying sorry that is a rediculius amount for one school trip and very wasteful so no, sit this one out.

@Merryoldgoat The leadership in this school, along with teachers, let the travel company into the school. They did not have to. It’s not a curriculum trip so not something that is important for learning.

These trips take place usually at the end of y12 and dc are approaching adulthood. The teachers wanted to float this trip knowing full well their places would be paid for. All school trips work like this and the teachers don’t see such a small group of decent young people as onerous. I’ve known teachers love these trips with older dc. Yes, teachers have responsibilities but they probably won’t have behaviour issues, any teaching to do and can build a rapport with pleasant cooperative and interested pupils. At the same time they see and do things that interest them. However, if the staff were not interested, then this company would not have been in school. It’s that black and white.

You.could all.go to Borneo for that!

Some threads I would LOVE the Daily Mail to take up and investigate.

The school should outed and shamed for its utter stupidity

So why are these promoted in schools then if nobody in the staff wants to go to these and it is a struggle to find teachers to supervise? I'm genuinely wondering if nobody except the travel agency benefit from these, why are these companies even allowed to speak to students at schools.

This sort of money should probably be saved up for university and not squandered on one trip to "cuddle monkeys".

If she doesn't get the reality of finances in your house maybe now is a good time to start teaching because it is going to become all too apparent over the next few years.

A couple of thoughts -

1. there's no way by the sound of it you as a family will be able to pay this amount of money. It won't be 'just' £6.5k - there'll be kit to buy & spending money, passports, visa etc. Even if your whole family pooled birthdays and Christmas presents.
2. So you will need to sit your DD down and explain it's simply out of your price range by several thousand. If she's interested in environmental issues, there will be local groups she can join, have a Keeper day at a local Zoo that sort of thing. Speak to her soon so she knows it's not even a vague possibility. Be matter of fact - and hold the line
3. Then get on to the school and ask them what the hell they were thinking in booking a speaker pitching a holiday for £6.5k in a deprived area.

I'm glad this thread has come up.

We are paying for a school skiing trip for our child in 2027, that's coming in at £1500 but is well worth it when you see the itinerary.

However, later on in the school lifecycle there is one of these voluntourism trips to an African country to help build school or whatever. I laugh at the thought of an African country doing quite well for itself accepting help from the car crash that is our country.

Anyway, the consequence of this trip that costs about £5k, is that students are ' fundraising' round our village, so we have to put up with go fund me requests in every shop, rubbish bake sales, and general never ending begging on social media.

Whilst I don't think these trips are in any way a holiday for teachers that have to accompany a bunch of clueless, entitled school pupils in a foreign country I DO think schools must get some kind of kick back, as the cost is clearly well out of reach of nearly every family, the rationale is crass and it all stinks of ' white saviour' anyway.

They should be stopped.

Honestly our “set” is decent earning professionals and literally none of our teens even wanted to go on these trips. I don’t know who is actually going on them.

Sit the family down and explain how that money is 2 or even 3 holidays for all the family. Look at cars, point out which car they could buy. If you feel like giving the information about how many hours you have to work to earn that amount,
If you present it DD will understand with you.

No one will go and it will be cancelled.

My two nearest state schools both do this trip, one school more affluent than the other. I don't know if it's rare, but what are you wanting the Daily Mail to do - stop companies from running the trips completely (maybe not a bad thing)?

Out of 900 or so students in the 3 year groups this was pitched at, around 15 people went. My kids were simply shocked at the price, didn't know anyone going and never asked to go (saving my giving them a lecture on voluntourism and how you shouldn't do it!)

There is another aspect to this. Any other children in the family. And other half.
If the child has saved a proportion of the money but not all, the family will feel pressured to find the necessary top up. Which may well be beyond their means. But find it they must. Which would impact other children ( and spouse) in the family. Especially if it means no or much less of a holiday for them.
Thoughtless doesn't describe it.