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AIBU?

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Original poster

Can't afford Dd's very expensive school trip

1000 replies

Wario54 · 03/12/2025 21:52

My DD is 15 and in year 10 at the moment. We live a deprived part of the North of England. She goes to a local, state comprehensive

My DH has had his hours reduced at work in recent months. I work part time in retail (can't get anymore hours unfortunately - I have asked). Like a lot of families, we're financially struggling to keep our heads above water. But we get by (somehow) and I never take the little things for granted (that we have each other, food on the table and a roof over our heads). We've not told our kids about our financial worries - they know there isn't much spare money but not about the extent of our problems.

Dd has come home tonight with a letter and great excitement about another school trip. They had a guest speaker today (external travel company) in assembly today enthusing them about a trip to Borneo of all places. It's 4 weeks long and the cost is £6,500. Currently planned for June/July 2027 (just after her GCSE'S). They are expected to fundraise some of the cost themselves (bake sales, sponsored walks etc) but we will have to pay the majority if she's to go.

She said today that she'll get a Saturday job to cover some of the cost herself. But even with that, taken into account we just can't afford it. It breaks my heart, because I'd love to give her that opportunity but I know we simply can't.

She's full of excitement about trekking through the jungle and cuddling Orangutans. But how do I tell her when she's already set her heart on it? 😢

I just think the school are being completely ridiculous by offering such an expensive trip in a cost of living crisis.

OP posts:
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5
Monty34 · 04/12/2025 09:05

If you child was at an exclusive public school I might understand it. Multiple trips abroad.
These smack of some sort of payback to a teacher in reduced holiday rates or a free trip for themselves. On the basis it is 'educational'.
What it actually is, is outrageous to put children and parents in such a position.
I cannot believe what I am reading.

LittleBitofBread · 04/12/2025 09:07

The school obviously haven't spent even a minute thinking about this.
Totally agree with you writing to the governors, OP.
Do schools get a bung of some kind for letting these companies come in?

CautiousLurker2 · 04/12/2025 09:10

GlomOfNit · 04/12/2025 09:03

Actually, the collection and sending of clothes to developing world countries is itself a potentially damaging practice. We used to be plagued with those 'Bags 4 School' collections in primary - you got given a bin bag, filled it with unwanted clothing, took it to school, who got a small amount per kilo BUT the premise was that the clothing then went on to benefit 'people in need'. In fact, Bags 4 School is not a charity, it's a business. It, and other companies like it, will collect donations of clothing using all the twisty weasel-words possible to imply it's all going to be distributed for free at the other end. The clothing then gets sorted. Any junk I hope gets disposed of responsibly. The rest is baled up and sold on to used clothing dealers in places like Ghana. Then it's auctioned off to smaller traders in the big markets there. The traders complain that the quality of imported second hand clothing has really deteriorated (think about all the plastic, disposable fashion people buy from Primark or Temu and wear a few times before getting rid) and they can't sell a lot of it. Unwanted clothing, most of it donated in good faith in the UK to what donors thought was a charity collection, gets incinerated (not nice for local people who have to breathe the particulates of OUR junk clothing!) or illegally dumped on riverbanks and beaches. It's a massive polluting issue and one I'm sure that will come to be looked on with dropped jaws - what on earth were we thinking? And a secondary problem this causes is that it undermines the traditional manufacture of traditional clothing and fabric in these countries, leading to lost culture and lost jobs.

So - DON'T buy fast fashion, make sure it's disposed of properly, and research how best to give to charities that work responsibly with people in the destination countries for donations, and make use of local economy and infrastructure! I'd like to see Bags 4 Schools collections outlawed for a start.

Show quote history

It wasn’t a bags for school. It was personally curated collection by the staff who took the items out with them each summer in their own suitcases.

… but thanks for the TedTalk.

Spanador · 04/12/2025 09:12

thenightsky · 03/12/2025 23:42

Oh God, I bet it is. OP hasn't been back. Hmm

Show quote history

You posted this less than 2 hours after OPs post. Is there a specific time frame for people to have to come back and respond?

Joeydoesntsharefood25 · 04/12/2025 09:14

Also there will be a lot of added costs, backpack, clothing, vaccinations, visas etc. Its not just the cost of the trip. It is a ludicrous amount of money. I would complain to the school. Unfortunately you will need to sit down and explain to your daughter, shes old enough to understand. She's allowed to be disappointed about it but that doesnt change things. I imagine most of her friends wont be going either.

surreygirly · 04/12/2025 09:14

I would tell her it is a no
I am not a complainer but I would message the school and register my disgust
I doubt that many of the kids will be able to go
it sounds like a sales event for a travel company

Franpie · 04/12/2025 09:15

Absolutely shocking and morally abhorrent for the school to allow direct marketing to young teenagers. Even worse that this is a state school in a deprived area.

My kids go to private school in a privileged area and there’s no way the school would do this. There would be outrage. We have recently been sent the details of the trips offered for next year. We, as in the parents. They are sent to us for us to discuss with our children if we want to. Never directly to the children. My DD is going on the Asia trip that is less than half the cost of your DD’s trip and DH and I were able to read up about it and discuss it between ourselves before talking to DD as it is an awful lot of money.

I would definitely not pay over £6k for a school trip. Absolutely not. And we could afford it if we wanted. To be honest, you could take a family of 4 to Borneo for roughly the same amount.

I would also be raising hell with the school. What the fuck were they thinking.

Monty34 · 04/12/2025 09:17

I wonder what the mark up for the company is on this trip ? How much profit do they intend or expect to make from each child ?

CheekyChickenFucker · 04/12/2025 09:17

If I had all the money in the world I still wouldn't give these cowboys that amount of money.

VickyEadieofThigh · 04/12/2025 09:18

Wario54 · 04/12/2025 00:09

My original post wasn't written by AI, so I'm not sure why some of you think it was? Confused

Thanks for all your comments. I'm going to sit down with her tomorrow and spell it out - that me and DH can't afford to help with the cost. Explaining our financial situation if necessary. That we want her to focus on her GCSE's without distractions like fundraising. If she's still adamant that she wants to go then I'll use pp's suggestion of helping her plan a similar trip (with friends) for when she's older

I don't know what the school were thinking... I'm going to write to the governors because it's just not fair on the kids to be pitching so an unrealistic dream

I think you need to be more open with her about how hard things are for you as a family at the moment. I always knew we were poor and not to ask for things which I understood were just beyond my parents' reach.

Fdsew · 04/12/2025 09:19

Is it one of those charity trips?
The trip company make money on these.
My daughter has had a few friends go to India on them. They had to fundraise 6k to go.
All a bit of a gimmick I think, but each to their own.
My daughter is just back from a lovely trip to Iceland which at 2.5k was enough IMO and she is at a private school.
6.5k would not have been entertained.

Vartden · 04/12/2025 09:19

These trips are regularly offered but only a tiny amount of children go on them . Its not like her whole class will be going. Id just be honest from the start. Say its unafordable and really thats the finish of the conversation. Most children really dont need to be even told this!

Dianaofthelakeofshiningwaters · 04/12/2025 09:21

We had these grifters "Camps International" come to my DDs school and few years ago - it was Costa Rica and £4.5k. I wish I had complained to the school at the time tbh because from memory they had a presentation to the kids before the parents were informed.

My DD was v keen because a couple of her friends signed up but we said no even though she was quite annoyed by us at the time.

Her friends spent a year trying to save via Saturday jobs and bake sales and still had to rely on their parents and grandparents paying for the majority of the fees.

My DD was also v young - still 15 in July after GCSEs (when the trip took place) and it was 4 weeks with no contact with home during that time. Having brought up our daughter we knew that this was not realistic for her as well.

The two girls who went had also fallen out with each other by the time the trip came around.

We are also in quite a deprived area and now it makes me quite angry that schools are allowing the companies in to sell these "trips of a lifetime" to these kids. The majority of them don't get a holiday in the UK on a regular basis, of course they're going to fall for the shiny excitement of going so far away and "building a school" in the process.

Most of the kids round here have weekend jobs just to pay for their clothes, going to the cinema or out for a McDonald's so they can't afford to ring fence that money for an overpriced trip which lines the pockets of some F**ing rich twat.

KittyFinlay · 04/12/2025 09:22

Funnily enough, there's been a heated discussion on the class WhatsApp today after we were asked to attend a bake sale to fundraise for this exact trip. One Mum in particular was annoyed to be "asked for more money" in December. My response to both the cakes and the trip in future (DD is too young right now) will be the same. "No."

Double no to being expected to harass family and friends for money for a holiday.

I don't agree with voluntourism anyway.

VickyEadieofThigh · 04/12/2025 09:23

crumpet · 04/12/2025 08:24

Speak to the school first. It is highly unlikely that there are spaces for the entire year group. Find out how many spaces are available vs the size of the year group. Is there space just for the minority of students? If so, most won’t be going anyway

To be honest, that information is irrelevant to the OP. The fact is that it's extremely irresponsible of the school to allow this sales pitch to children.

Luckyingame · 04/12/2025 09:25

For a school trip? I don't think so.

JFDIYOLO · 04/12/2025 09:27

Complain to the school. This is insane, in this current economic climate.

Absolutely demand financial transparency - how much have the company promised / given the school to supply pupils' labour and your money?

Do you have a friends' parents group you can speak with, to gauge support?

Your daughter is 15 - in one year she'll be considered old enough to join the army.

So sit her down with the bank statements and the regular bills, and have a young adult conversation with her. Tell her exactly how much - if any - you could realistically contribute from the family funds to send one family member on a jolly (which would not be fair or equitable in itself.)

You'll have to deal with her not so adult disappointment and reaction.

She'll make utterly unrealistic statements about how she'll raise it all herself.

So work with her on planning fundraising and saving activities - reminding her that so much of what she spends her money on now will have to stop if she's to stand a chance of making enough. How much time she'll have to spend working on fundraising activities instead of going out, socialising, having fun.

No doubt it will all fizzle out when she realises how much not fun it is - especially if her friends aren't doing it.

Crushed23 · 04/12/2025 09:29

If she worked 8 hours every Saturday for the next 18 months, and picked up extra hours in the summer holidays, she’d be able to fund this? Or am I missing something?

8hrs x £8 x 78 weeks = ~£5,000

LoyalMember · 04/12/2025 09:30

How can the school be so f#cking stupid and insensitive, especially in these times with the cost of living crisis affecting everyone? £6,500? Jesus F#cking Christ..🙄

Volumeindrive · 04/12/2025 09:32

Crushed23 · 04/12/2025 09:29

If she worked 8 hours every Saturday for the next 18 months, and picked up extra hours in the summer holidays, she’d be able to fund this? Or am I missing something?

8hrs x £8 x 78 weeks = ~£5,000

You're missing £1500 - the school trip costs £6500

Movinginthesunlight · 04/12/2025 09:34

RampantIvy · 03/12/2025 22:43

I agree. Schools shouldn't be doing these trips.

World Challenge claims that these trips enrich the communities the kids visit. They don't. It's poverty tourism at its worst. They kids might paint a school (vadly), dig a well (that colleapses) or construct something "useful" which needs to be rebuilt. It's expensive virtue signalling.

Edited
Show quote history

Yes I am inclined to agree. My nephew recently went on what sounds like the exact same trip to Borneo. It was essentially poverty tourism.

He and the other kids raised very little fundraising, I think a couple of hundred each, so the vast vast majority of it was paid for my parents and grandparents.

I remember this being touted at my school and only a small handful went, even though I lived in a very affluent area, I imagine most parents saw it as the con it is. I quite sure it was to Borneo as well. So it looks like this has been a successful business venture for the company!

Please do write to the governors to complain. I will do the same if I ever get similar!

Needspaceforlego · 04/12/2025 09:35

Crazybigtoe · 04/12/2025 08:33

There is no way in hell that I think that this trip is 'good value for money'....

But surely the message should be ' how would you raise that money'... Because I think its good practise for life to have a financial goal and see how you can achieve that goal... through saving, investing and a solid work ethic. And make an assessment about the trade-offs to reach that goal (in this case loss of study time for GCSE)..I really do think that the vast majority of kids if they had to work for every penny would think that that trip for that money is not a good thing but telling them 'no because I can't afford it' I think is the wrong message. Loads of people on here could, and would still choose not too because it's a ridiculous amount of money for that type of trip and they would rather spend their money on other things- be it essentials or luxuries.

Having high financial aspiration and working out how you can achieve a financial goal is a good thing for kids. That doesn't mean 'fundraising' for jolly which I abhor.

If it was an achieveable goal maybe. But its a huge amount of money for a child to raise.

Saturday jobs aren't that easy to come by. Shops seem to want flexible full time staff, or students with more flexibily rather than supplimenting with Saturday school kids.

Volumeindrive · 04/12/2025 09:37

KittyFinlay · 04/12/2025 09:22

Funnily enough, there's been a heated discussion on the class WhatsApp today after we were asked to attend a bake sale to fundraise for this exact trip. One Mum in particular was annoyed to be "asked for more money" in December. My response to both the cakes and the trip in future (DD is too young right now) will be the same. "No."

Double no to being expected to harass family and friends for money for a holiday.

I don't agree with voluntourism anyway.

We've had annoyances where fund raising for the holiday was deliberately conflated with charitable donations. This is not charity. These children are not the people to go to developing countries to build or paint houses. Anyone here happy to pay £6500 for a teenager to build or paint their house for a few weeks?

LeastOfMyWorries · 04/12/2025 09:37

Wario54 · 04/12/2025 00:09

My original post wasn't written by AI, so I'm not sure why some of you think it was? Confused

Thanks for all your comments. I'm going to sit down with her tomorrow and spell it out - that me and DH can't afford to help with the cost. Explaining our financial situation if necessary. That we want her to focus on her GCSE's without distractions like fundraising. If she's still adamant that she wants to go then I'll use pp's suggestion of helping her plan a similar trip (with friends) for when she's older

I don't know what the school were thinking... I'm going to write to the governors because it's just not fair on the kids to be pitching so an unrealistic dream

To be fair, this isn't a "school trip". I send my children to school partly to have the world opened up to them in ways that I can't do at home due to our particular circumstances. I would be more annoyed that a whole school was written off from an opportunity.

The whole idea of these trips, organised by outside agencies, is that the children learn teamwork and fundraising over an extended period of time.

There are threads on here that may well put her off, volun-tourism isn't all its made out to be. FWIW a close family member recently went on one, the family sacrificed a lot for it and i think they are bonkers. It was supposed to be life changing all its changed is that he can't afford a car now which is affecting his employment opportunities because he put his life savings into a holiday

Sartre · 04/12/2025 09:38

Haven’t RTFT but schools know these trips will have low uptake and that it will only be the very wealthiest who go. I would have loved to send my DC on the GCSE history/geography trips but I cannot afford it. I’m a ‘middle earner’ so not poor but 3k for literally 3 days in New York or Iceland is not worth it. We spend about that on a family holiday abroad for a week for 7 of us. I felt bad but I know it’s just a rip off tbh and insane to set these trips in deprived areas.

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