Can't afford Dd's very expensive school trip

[Wario54]

My DD is 15 and in year 10 at the moment. We live a deprived part of the North of England. She goes to a local, state comprehensive

My DH has had his hours reduced at work in recent months. I work part time in retail (can't get anymore hours unfortunately - I have asked). Like a lot of families, we're financially struggling to keep our heads above water. But we get by (somehow) and I never take the little things for granted (that we have each other, food on the table and a roof over our heads). We've not told our kids about our financial worries - they know there isn't much spare money but not about the extent of our problems.

Dd has come home tonight with a letter and great excitement about another school trip. They had a guest speaker today (external travel company) in assembly today enthusing them about a trip to Borneo of all places. It's 4 weeks long and the cost is £6,500. Currently planned for June/July 2027 (just after her GCSE'S). They are expected to fundraise some of the cost themselves (bake sales, sponsored walks etc) but we will have to pay the majority if she's to go.

She said today that she'll get a Saturday job to cover some of the cost herself. But even with that, taken into account we just can't afford it. It breaks my heart, because I'd love to give her that opportunity but I know we simply can't.

She's full of excitement about trekking through the jungle and cuddling Orangutans. But how do I tell her when she's already set her heart on it? 😢

I just think the school are being completely ridiculous by offering such an expensive trip in a cost of living crisis.

There is no way in hell that I think that this trip is 'good value for money'....

But surely the message should be ' how would you raise that money'... Because I think its good practise for life to have a financial goal and see how you can achieve that goal... through saving, investing and a solid work ethic. And make an assessment about the trade-offs to reach that goal (in this case loss of study time for GCSE)..I really do think that the vast majority of kids if they had to work for every penny would think that that trip for that money is not a good thing but telling them 'no because I can't afford it' I think is the wrong message. Loads of people on here could, and would still choose not too because it's a ridiculous amount of money for that type of trip and they would rather spend their money on other things- be it essentials or luxuries.

Having high financial aspiration and working out how you can achieve a financial goal is a good thing for kids. That doesn't mean 'fundraising' for jolly which I abhor.

It's not though, is it? Only a tiny handful will be going, it's not like anyone is going to feel left out. So no more unfair than advertising luxury cars or holidays on the TV or million pound houses on Rightmove. A lot of life is about seeing things you can't have.

Yes I agree with this. When my daughter was at school they had one of these trips and out of a year group of 150 only 2 pupils went.

That isn’t the case actually or these companies wouldn’t still be operating. The trip to Borneo last summer was £5,500 and I think between 15-20 kids from our school went (neither of my two did). They need to be motivated to raise a lot of money and have a plan to do it, otherwise the answer should be no. I think it was a unanimous decision by the kids that it was a fantastic trip and experience for them.

That's very sad (re your daughter). I'd rather raise kids who dream a little and aspire to things they can't necessarily have - and then work out how to get them than a child who just writes themselves off from the get go.

Very few pupils will actually go on the trip as it's so expensive. They seem to do this at most high schools and the hard sell is very unfair as they make out it's easy to get sponsorship and earn the money to go.

Tell your DD/the school what percentage of this you’re expecting to be fundraised- for example 50%. Also explain how much you would expect DD to earn? Be honest about what you/other family members can contribute for sponsorship etc. Then leave DD to it. Surely you wont be the only one to find this unaffordable, you need a strategy. I would lay out early on that you can contribute x or y as birthday/christmas money and encourage other family members to do the same.

OP, I can afford to pay that for my DS, but it would be a no from me. Absolutely ridiculous. The idea is for the children to raise the cash, but it's a ridiculous amount. IMO schools should not be offering these trips. I think I'd write to the governers with all the reasons why not.
Your daughter is old enough to understand your reasons for saying no.

That is ridiculous and way beyond what a lot of people pay for a family holiday.

I would just say you can't afford it and explain that to her and say it's not really feasible for her to save up that much.

Who will be paying for the teachers to go ? If they are. That is what I would want to know. And whose idea was it in the first place to invite a private travel company in to basically advertise if it is not a 'school trip'. Using school premises and time to seek to persuade very young people to spend lots of money with their company. And by doing so giving themselves and the trip a sort of legitimate authority.
I would actually complain to your MP. And to the Education Secretary.
This is beyond reasonable.
They shouldn't be anywhere near the school or the assembly selling their holidays.

Well if that's the case then it should be being pitched in a school!

I agree I would not be getting involved with any of these companies. £6500 is outrageous.
My friend's DD is the same age and has been fundraising for over a year for a similar trip - I think it's to the Himalayas.
To be fair she has run cake sales, book sales, mulled wine etc but the amount she will have raised cannot be anywhere near the cost needed to go.
It also puts pressure on your friends and neighbours to come along and donate etc which is fine but won't work if you're in a less affluent area.

To the PP who said it's only £361 a month to raise - that's a heck of a lot for a 15 year old. How many 15 yos have a Saturday job every week for 8 hours paying £8 an hour? Maybe some do - my DD works but only 4 hours a week which is as much as is appropriate at this age with her sports and her GCSEs coming up. I certainly wouldn't want her having to put on additional fundraisers in her limited free time.

I was about as spoilt as they came growing up, but even I wouldn't have been allowed to go on that. That is a holiday to Florida for 2 weeks for 4.

I went to southeast Asia for a year and spent less than that including the flights. That is an insane amount of money for one month.

If they invite that company in, why not others ? What is it about this company that gives them special privileges to sell their wares to the schoolchildren?

I would seriously want to know what anyone at the school gets out of it.

To be fair, me and DH aren't skint at all and we wouldn't be able to afford this. Not many people I know would. Even my friends who are pretty well off. Absolutely ludicrous.

Just say No .Also a jolly for the teachers I think! Honestly no one can afford that for 1 DC.My Son went to a Long haul trip .Nothing near this cost though.And paid for by 50/50 DGM/US.Its crazy

It's time to explain your financial issues to your kids

Also, the sort of school that offers these type of trips often has a fund that can support financially disadvantaged children to go on them, your daughter could try writing a letter to her head teacher to see if such things exist at her school

You just say “Sorry love, sounds amazing but the price is way out of our price range.”

Our kids High School offer trips every year - skiing in year 8, cookery trip to Italy in year 9, New York in year 10etc.

We are a high income family, could afford to send them on these trips (sorry not a brag, for context). But I say no. Children/teens need to understand the value of money and not be spoilt.

I bet hardly anyone will actually be going in the trip, even the families who could well afford it.

What the actual…?

I don’t think many people, even those who comfortably off would be able to afford that.

I know we wouldn’t.

No decent school should invite in a private company flogging holidays that would then require a child to go begging for financial support to the head.
How humiliating for the child and their family.

Whoever had that idea at the school needs shooting.

Just going to add - £6500 is more money than many students have to live on at university for a year (is all of the grant mine is entitled to due to parental earnings).

If I had to chose, I’d be encouraging DD to save towards uni during the next 3 years, not a trip to Borneo that lines the pockets of the CEO of a private travel company. There will be loads of opportunities to take part in Operation Raleigh and VSO when she’s 18 if she really DOES want to go and take part in overseas community projects.

Actually, the collection and sending of clothes to developing world countries is itself a potentially damaging practice. We used to be plagued with those 'Bags 4 School' collections in primary - you got given a bin bag, filled it with unwanted clothing, took it to school, who got a small amount per kilo BUT the premise was that the clothing then went on to benefit 'people in need'. In fact, Bags 4 School is not a charity, it's a business. It, and other companies like it, will collect donations of clothing using all the twisty weasel-words possible to imply it's all going to be distributed for free at the other end. The clothing then gets sorted. Any junk I hope gets disposed of responsibly. The rest is baled up and sold on to used clothing dealers in places like Ghana. Then it's auctioned off to smaller traders in the big markets there. The traders complain that the quality of imported second hand clothing has really deteriorated (think about all the plastic, disposable fashion people buy from Primark or Temu and wear a few times before getting rid) and they can't sell a lot of it. Unwanted clothing, most of it donated in good faith in the UK to what donors thought was a charity collection, gets incinerated (not nice for local people who have to breathe the particulates of OUR junk clothing!) or illegally dumped on riverbanks and beaches. It's a massive polluting issue and one I'm sure that will come to be looked on with dropped jaws - what on earth were we thinking? And a secondary problem this causes is that it undermines the traditional manufacture of traditional clothing and fabric in these countries, leading to lost culture and lost jobs.

So - DON'T buy fast fashion, make sure it's disposed of properly, and research how best to give to charities that work responsibly with people in the destination countries for donations, and make use of local economy and infrastructure! I'd like to see Bags 4 Schools collections outlawed for a start.

Why would there have to be a showdown? Don’t kids understand ‘We can’t afford it’, any more? And how much - seriously - would they be able to raise by themselves, without guilt-tripping family/friends/neighbours into coughing up? These trips are a con.

OK, it was in about 1966, but there was a trip to Russia offered when I was doing Russian A level. There were only 6 of us doing it, the cost was £60 which was a lot then. (Cost of French exchange trip 2 years previously was £9). None of us went - I didn’t even ask my folks. Our teacher was disappointed, which was a shame since she was brilliant, but c’est la vie….