Can't afford Dd's very expensive school trip

[Wario54]

My DD is 15 and in year 10 at the moment. We live a deprived part of the North of England. She goes to a local, state comprehensive

My DH has had his hours reduced at work in recent months. I work part time in retail (can't get anymore hours unfortunately - I have asked). Like a lot of families, we're financially struggling to keep our heads above water. But we get by (somehow) and I never take the little things for granted (that we have each other, food on the table and a roof over our heads). We've not told our kids about our financial worries - they know there isn't much spare money but not about the extent of our problems.

Dd has come home tonight with a letter and great excitement about another school trip. They had a guest speaker today (external travel company) in assembly today enthusing them about a trip to Borneo of all places. It's 4 weeks long and the cost is £6,500. Currently planned for June/July 2027 (just after her GCSE'S). They are expected to fundraise some of the cost themselves (bake sales, sponsored walks etc) but we will have to pay the majority if she's to go.

She said today that she'll get a Saturday job to cover some of the cost herself. But even with that, taken into account we just can't afford it. It breaks my heart, because I'd love to give her that opportunity but I know we simply can't.

She's full of excitement about trekking through the jungle and cuddling Orangutans. But how do I tell her when she's already set her heart on it? 😢

I just think the school are being completely ridiculous by offering such an expensive trip in a cost of living crisis.

Oh wow!! When I saw the title I was expecting it to be like our trip at £1700!! £6500!!!!!!!!!! That’s mental!

I think I’d also be asking the school about exactly how this £6500 is spent - with school trips factoring in the cost of teachers attending, I’d be absolutely furious if I knew my child was attempting to raise money for a teacher to have a 4 weeks all expenses paid trip at their expense

I agree with this - some of these trips have ‘white saviour’ undertones that are deeply distasteful.

The school could instead raise money for the project, collect clothing/shoes to send them. Ours private school did this - it was out nominated charity and a share of monies from every school fundraising event was reserved for them. We were effectively twinned with them for decades with a couple of teachers being very involved, visiting regularly to teach there and oversee the spending of monies the school had raised - new out building one year, new windows, new desks/chairs another year etc. At the end of 6th for a group of kids used to go with the two heavily involved teachers - but it was something they knew about for a decade, the possibility of a trip when 18, so they literally had years and years to save and think about it.

The exact pitch/ trip was proposed at the dn school. Her parents agreed she could go if she fundraised. Obviously she tried at first but soon got bored! Most people just don’t want to sponsor for a trip like that.

She’s need flights but something like this when she’s 18 would be better value if she has her heart set on Borneo. https://www.gadventures.com/trips/highlights-of-sabah-and-mount-kinabalu/9275/

I'd wager that most teens would immediately know that this wasn't an option that would be open to them, owing to the cost. Mine certainly would, and he'd accept it without question, or disappointment. But yes, I agree with the general point that school trips running into several hundreds/ thousands are incredibly divisive. It sets low income households up for disappointment and embarrassment, which is incredibly unfair. And i say this as a reasonably affluent parent (still couldn't afford £6.5k though!)

Maybe put it in context for her too.
6500 is more than I have ever spent on very nice multiple person family holidays for 10 days.
It's not the kind of money one spends on a school tour. And also, 4 week holiday? Also not usual.

Well it's an outrageous amount of money regardless of your income. Borneo isn't a great place for a school trip and I doubt she could cuddle orangutans (they are violent and very strong). I'd be furious. It's setting families up to fail.

My DS went to a private school and his trips were nowhere near this cost. That's more than most pay for a family holiday!

I'd write to them and complain. The school can fundraise for it.

It’s highly unlikely that your daughter will be the only one told by parents that it’s too expensive- I suspect the majority of kids will receive the same message if you live in a deprived area.

My husband and I both have good jobs and no money worries but I’d still say no to a trip that expensive (in fact we’ve already said no to a similar type of year 12 trip that cost a bit less).

This is an INSANE amount of money. Terrible from the school. You and your family could go to Borneo for that amount!!!!!
Id ask for a meeting with the school and complain that this is outrageous- I bet every other parent feels as you do. We have spare cash but I would be furious at the school for this and would say this is way way too much! Even with money being fine I would not spend more than 1500/2k on ANY school trip and that is absolutely maximum maximum.
Unbelievable!!! YANBU!

I did something similar at secondary, it was some 20 years ago however but the figure was about £2500. It was with a charity not a travel agency and we had to apply and be A grade students etc, but we had to raise the funds ourselves as part of the programme to develop entrepreneurial and fundraising skills, it was the biggest part of the project really and then spend two weeks in the Himalayas. It's a big learning opportunity and with some creativity and hard work the money can be raised.

However, that price does seem excessive, especially when it's not going to be a luxury experience, and because its a travel company and not a charity affiliated with the school then I'd be wanting to see a break down of costs!

I wouldnt complain about the cost (it's not the schools fault your daughter can't go) but I would want to know why the school let a commercial company do a sales pitch in school time.

My school did regular trips that my parents couldnt afford. They just said "sorry, we'd love to but we can't afford it". I did a sad face, didnt go and got over it. The vast majority of my friends did exactly the same.

My parents didnt go into their financial detail. They might have said something vague like "that's our food budget for 6 months" or whatever.

It's not like it's a once only opportunity (although Im sure the travel company sold it that way). If she wants to go to Borneo in the future, she can.

How utterly ridiculous - probably been dreamt up by one of the teachers that wants an all expenses paid trip. You could have a lovely family holiday for that.
i doubt it will go ahead due to lack of interest because of cost.

And I thought the ski trips our schools offer were expensive!
No way would I pay that, but also my children would know that I wouldn't.
In our school we just get an email re trips and the kids dont get spoken too so its less pressure.
I dont know when schools started offering these trip as it want a thing at all when I was at school 20 years ago.

Insane amount of money. Is it with one of those survival travel comoanies where they do work with locals? If so, it’s very expensive for what it is. The accommodation is very basic and rough.

my ds went to Borneo on one and it was €5k for three weeks. He really roughed it. I wouldn’t pay it again.

I think it’s really naughty of the school to invite these companies with ludicrous prices and getting the kids all excited.

There will be loads of kids who simply can’t go. Your dd won’t be alone. She has to learn it’s just not affordable.

Speak to the school first. It is highly unlikely that there are spaces for the entire year group. Find out how many spaces are available vs the size of the year group. Is there space just for the minority of students? If so, most won’t be going anyway

Honestly, I don't think you will have many, if any takers, for this trip. From where you say you are based, its sounds like it probably wouldn't go ahead. I would contact the school and ask if they have had any interest and then lead with that to your daughter. Suggesting, as you did in PP that she could still get a job and start saving for a holiday of a lifetime with her friends for when she comes of age.

I cant imagine a week transporting and dealing with excited, home sick, too hot kids that arent yours 24/7 would be many teacher's choice of holiday no matter how many orangutans they could see. 🤣

If it's summer 2027, it will probably need to be paid in full by March 2027. That's 15 months at £434 which is a not insignificant amount of £100 a week. A Saturday job at her age would maybe bring in £120 a month although she might get more if she gets a job in McDonalds as they pay living wage I believe to all staff and if she gets a sat/sun job her wage could cover the cost pretty much in its entirety. In any event it's still a sizeable gap if her job doesn't cover the costs. Tell her to look at the charity treks - while bake sales are great, there are lots of good fundraising ideas there designed to bring in hundreds of not thousands at a time. Are the school going to do an enterprise initiative to teach the kids how to run a business to make money so they are learning additional skills? Good luck - this is not an easy situation to navigate.

I am shocked that a school has actually facilitated this presentation by a travel company. Your DD obviously won’t be the only one yearning to go and excited at the prospect of exploring such inspiring places BUT she won’t be the only one with parents who are also struggling financially surely?!

The school need calling out on this, I’m all for enriching children’s lives but £6000+ is a stretch too far!

“probably been dreamt up by one of the teachers that wants an all expenses paid trip”

I can almost guarantee it’s an external travel company. I’ve had two of my children pitched to about different “once in a lifetime” sixth form trips costing £4k+ where the kids have to try and fundraise towards the cost. It seems very common for these adventure travel companies to go round and pitch at schools/sixth forms.

Don’t make a big song and dance about it OP, it will just get upsetting for everyone. Just say firmly that it’s not happening and move on. The same conversation will be going on in plenty of houses so don’t worry. ♥️

@Hoppinggreen Same at my DDs private school. Very few ended up going. My daughter and her friends all wanted to go until they realised that the fundraising was near on impossible.
They soon forget about it and move onto something else.
I think its ridiculous for schools ( state or private) to put parents under this pressure and build up the childrens hopes of going on these trips.

At the age of 15 I am shocked that she assumed she could go? My dd wouldn’t have even handed me the letter…as she would know that I couldn’t afford to send her.

We can’t afford to holiday out of the uk, dd doesn’t have a passport (so that would be extra cost).

You simply tell her you can’t afford it. She won’t be the only one who won’t be going, only the kids with well off parents/grandparents will be going, which I am guessing will be a small handful of students.

I don't think that a state school should be doing this, it's very unfair on those who won't be able to raise the money.

6,500 pp? If so, they being ridiculous to offer such an expensive trip, especially if the school facilitates children who live in deprived areas.

My income would be considered very comfortable but even I couldn't afford that (can't even afford that amount for my yearly holiday which would benefit every member of the family) especially because I have 3 children and if I spend that on one, I have to spend it on the others.

I would speak to the school, I think it's useful for them to at least understand what parents can realistically afford and the position this has put you in.