Can't afford Dd's very expensive school trip

[Wario54]

My DD is 15 and in year 10 at the moment. We live a deprived part of the North of England. She goes to a local, state comprehensive

My DH has had his hours reduced at work in recent months. I work part time in retail (can't get anymore hours unfortunately - I have asked). Like a lot of families, we're financially struggling to keep our heads above water. But we get by (somehow) and I never take the little things for granted (that we have each other, food on the table and a roof over our heads). We've not told our kids about our financial worries - they know there isn't much spare money but not about the extent of our problems.

Dd has come home tonight with a letter and great excitement about another school trip. They had a guest speaker today (external travel company) in assembly today enthusing them about a trip to Borneo of all places. It's 4 weeks long and the cost is £6,500. Currently planned for June/July 2027 (just after her GCSE'S). They are expected to fundraise some of the cost themselves (bake sales, sponsored walks etc) but we will have to pay the majority if she's to go.

She said today that she'll get a Saturday job to cover some of the cost herself. But even with that, taken into account we just can't afford it. It breaks my heart, because I'd love to give her that opportunity but I know we simply can't.

She's full of excitement about trekking through the jungle and cuddling Orangutans. But how do I tell her when she's already set her heart on it? 😢

I just think the school are being completely ridiculous by offering such an expensive trip in a cost of living crisis.

I think the school are out of line entertaining this. Of course some can afford this, or will prioritise this but this is astronomical for most families. My partner earns £165k, his monthly take home is £7500 - so that would be majority of one months salary just for one child’s school trip! If we did this we’d probably be forgoing a family holiday that year.

Honestly OP, my DC went on all the school trips, but £6k???!!!!!

Very few of the students will be going, if any.

I’d be furious with the school for sending home details of such an extortionate trip. That’s an obscene amount of money and not achievable for most families. My son went on a rugby tour that was under half this amount and managed to fund half of the trip by getting a job after his GCSEs (the trip was in 6th form) I’m afraid you will have to be firm and let her know it’s just not possible - I very much doubt many of her friends will be going either at that cost.

I'm from a family of teachers and no teacher wants to do that. Therefore they don't. Nobody wants to take group of teenagers to a jungle for a month during their freetime, but teachers have the option of not doing it. I can see why people would draw the conclusion that teachers want a free trip. Cause if teachers don't want it and an average person should know parents wouldn't want it then why is it even offered?

Don’t feel guilty. Your daughter won’t be missing out on anything, a trip to Borneo as a 15 yr old is completely unnecessary - she has a lifetime ahead of her to do a trip like this if she wants.

at 15 she should have some understanding of how much money this is, and that it’s completely unrealistic for this to be spent on her.

we’re high earners and I wouldn’t even consider this for a moment.

just don’t feel guilty and I hope your daughter takes it well

I think schools need to offer trips like this as part of enrichment and it's seen as something Ofsted look for in terms of widening cultural capital. I agree they are out of reach for most people and generally only take a max of 20 students anyway, so they aren't really inclusive.
I hope the school do provide trips that are more realistic - though I don't think secondaries do many because they can't cover costs when parents don't pay.

Your dd has little chance of getting a Saturday job anyway but encourage her to try. Most kids won’t do this and they will offer another trip. I think this is done over 2 school years. Don’t worry about it.

£6500 for one person is out of reach for most families even with 18 months notice.

I might suggest that was cruel by the school and there will be a lot of disappointed teens and upset parents.

Bonkers

DD is at a private school and we told her a while ago that any school trip outside of Europe was off the cards.

I assume it’s one of those world challenge trips sold by outside companies where the kids go and ‘help’ the locals by doing something token when they would have been better off donating money if they wanted to help. It was a hard no when my kids were offered this and I have never donated to any kids raising money for these trips on principle.

I'd be encouraging her to get her Saturday job and then take an extended Borneo trip between A-levels and University or on her gap year. It's a fabulous thing to aim for, but nuts for the school to have float it as an idea.

And then in a couple of years when she'd like driving lessons, say?
I'm another in the could pay, wouldn't pay, camp.

Our big village/small town's senior school have done these. This year seems to have had a fair few kids sign up as the local Facebook groups are awash with their parents trying to help them fundraise the £5500. (Disclaimer-I work in a local primary so it might be that I am noticing it more as some are ex pupils).
I think the price is ridiculous, I cannot see how they will fundraise the money(I know some of the families are not in a high income bracket). Those kids will be devastated if they get a year in , can't raise the rest and have to drop out.
I do feel that schools should not be promoting these trips-these things are more appropriate for gap year age and I am sure cheaper to do it yourself.
I was shocked when a friend said her adult child was now working for one of these companies (has been out there to the country on a trip too since starting with the company) as they are definitely not the sales type of person and have an incredibly strong sense of right and wrong and equality for all.

This is totally inappropriate and exploitative on the part of the school and the travel company. No doubt the travel company don’t care, but I have no clue why the school would be involved in this. I would 100% complain.

I am also a little surprised that your daughter doesn’t have a sense that this is completely out of budget for your family. I grew up in a deprived area and my parents had very little money. I would’ve known from a very young age that this kind of school trip was completely unrealistic and I wouldn’t have even asked. Even £100 for a trip would’ve been ludicrous.

Finally, even if you could afford it, it is very poor value for money. There is no holiday that you could go on that would be worth £6500. And is anyone else in the family getting £6.5k just for fun money? Nope. Not fair. I wouldn’t have any issue telling my child that they wouldn’t be going on this trip.

Most families won't be able to afford that trip OP. You are really not alone.

I couldn't afford to send my children on the school ski trip which was about £1500 (plus the cost of kitting them out and ideally some lessons before they went) Could maybe have managed it for one of them but not all 3. I explained it to them. I wouldn't burden children with money worries but I don't think it's terrible for them to understand that money isn't limitless either.

Good gracious! At minimum wage for a 16 year old it would be over a hundred days of work to afford that. This is another level of expensive.

Well my mums reaction to that would have been ' that's nice dear '.

And I expect that's what .most of her friends parents will be saying. The money isn't there so she can't go (( even if it was you couldn't justify it ))

It won't just be 6 gran by the way, by the time clothes, any equipment plus spends is factored in you're looking at closer to 8.

Schools have been doing this for ever and it's really difficult for both parents and children.

I'm showing my age a bit and remember my school touting a trip on the SS Uganda (a school ship). My parents closed down the conversation sharpish because it really was never an option as we were a one income family at the time.

Fortunately not many people went so there was no feeling of exclusion and I got over it.

I think if your 15 year old can learn to to work hard at their GCSEs whilst earning (not begging and not pretending it's a charity event) £6500+ (pocket money and equipment will be needed too) over two years to go on a holiday then I agree - they'll have gained from it. But it's a lot to ask of a 15 year old - it's a big risk to take on their education, they'll be devastated if they don't make their earning goals and can't pay for the whole holiday because there are no refunds, they'd lose the lot and that's a lot of pressure to carry...t
Dd has a few friends who did it - from what I could gather, their friends were keen to raise money initially but quickly got tired of it and then it was down to the parents. A bit like the promises of looking after a new puppy!

For one kid that is outrageous! One suggestion is call or email Trailfinders and ask them the cheapest trip to Borneo to see the orangutan for a two people or a family of 4 for 2 weeks. This would give you a comparable price point to show how expensive this quote is. The most expensive thing is flight there, hotel options there are a wide range of budget and delicious food in Borneo and Malaysia is about £1 - £2 per meal. 4 weeks is a long time, would they be doing any help in the animal centres etc?

I completely missed the part of your op where it says state comprehensive and assumed it was private school. That's utter, utter madness and there's no way in he'll we'd afford that, even if it was 4 years away! Yes, it's the trip of a lifetime but it would also pay for a decent 2 week family holiday abroad!

For comparison, we decided against last year's school trip to Paris because we go to France often, it's close enough for ds to visit any time, and they spent 2 days at Disneyland which has zero educational value. We've said yes to the trip to Iceland in 2027, which is the same price as Paris (£1,300) because it's the trip of a lifetime for ds, and he needs a bit of encouragement with his Geography GCSE. This will bring his learning to life, which he desperately needs to achieve a pass.

School trip prices are getting out of hand though.

I completely missed the part of your op where it says state comprehensive and assumed it was private school. That's utter, utter madness and there's no way in hell we'd afford that, even if it was 4 years away! Yes, it's the trip of a lifetime for one person but it would also pay for a decent 2 week family holiday abroad!

For comparison, we decided against last year's school trip to Paris because we go to France often, it's close enough for ds to visit any time, and they spent 2 days at Disneyland which has zero educational value. We've said yes to the trip to Iceland in 2027, which is the same price as Paris (£1,300) because it's the trip of a lifetime for ds, and he needs a bit of encouragement with his Geography GCSE. This will bring his learning to life, which he desperately needs to achieve a pass.

School trip prices are getting out of hand though.

This is ridiculous. Tone deaf and unfair to dangle that carrot. You just need to tell her straight that you're very sorry, but you can't afford it as it's a lot. Even more than a family holiday.

I had a similar experience when I was in secondary school. A once in a life time trip to Belize was spoken about in assembly and I desperately wanted to go. It was about £4000 23 years ago, so you can imagine my parents reaction. The school also spoke about fund raising through bake sales, car washing and packing shopping. I quickly realised this was never going to raise the cash and had to drop out. My well off friends were able to go and even now I feel a little 'what if?' when I hear Belize. (Which tbf isn't often!)

I can guarantee that she would not be cuddling orangutans even if she went.

oh god are schools still pushing these aspirational trips? Ten years ago my dc’s school were flogging an equally ridiculous trip to China.
Yes, ofc we can say no (we did) but why should the school be putting parents into the completely avoidable position where they have to keep saying no and explaining why?
Especially now when things are especially difficult.