Can't afford Dd's very expensive school trip

[Wario54]

My DD is 15 and in year 10 at the moment. We live a deprived part of the North of England. She goes to a local, state comprehensive

My DH has had his hours reduced at work in recent months. I work part time in retail (can't get anymore hours unfortunately - I have asked). Like a lot of families, we're financially struggling to keep our heads above water. But we get by (somehow) and I never take the little things for granted (that we have each other, food on the table and a roof over our heads). We've not told our kids about our financial worries - they know there isn't much spare money but not about the extent of our problems.

Dd has come home tonight with a letter and great excitement about another school trip. They had a guest speaker today (external travel company) in assembly today enthusing them about a trip to Borneo of all places. It's 4 weeks long and the cost is £6,500. Currently planned for June/July 2027 (just after her GCSE'S). They are expected to fundraise some of the cost themselves (bake sales, sponsored walks etc) but we will have to pay the majority if she's to go.

She said today that she'll get a Saturday job to cover some of the cost herself. But even with that, taken into account we just can't afford it. It breaks my heart, because I'd love to give her that opportunity but I know we simply can't.

She's full of excitement about trekking through the jungle and cuddling Orangutans. But how do I tell her when she's already set her heart on it? 😢

I just think the school are being completely ridiculous by offering such an expensive trip in a cost of living crisis.

It's too much and it isn't appropriate for the school to be promoting this kind of trip in assembly, given that it will be way out of reach for most of the pupils.

That said, maybe this is a good opportunity for you to do a bit of financial education with your dd. Talk to her about the cost of the trip, and about your household budget/how much disposable income you have left each month after paying tax/rent or mortgage/bills etc - there is no real need to keep any of this information secret. Also, help her work out just how many hours she would need to work on the minimum wage for her age group in order to be able to cover the cost of this.

You don't want to transfer your money worries to your kids, of course, but there is no harm in having open and honest conversations about money - it helps to promote financial literacy and to manage expectations.

Tbh I know no families able to spend that crazy amount of money on a school trip.

I don't get why schools dothis shit.

We went to Borneo as a family this summer and covered much of this in our Itinary. At the sanctuary I suspect the closest she would get to the orangatangs will be from a distance behind glass at the feeding session. She wouldn’t be cuddling anything! Same with sun bears. They are designed for rehabilitation. The reason you see them at the feeding sessions is because it brings them
to a central point.

At one of our stops there was a large group from one of these trips. Alot of the trip was camping when I looked it up. Maybe I’m old but tbh I couldn’t imagine anything worse in the heat and humidity there than being in a sticky tent with no aircon.

i am not going to saying was a cheap trip but you could probably cover most of a trip for the three of you with £6.5k let alone one person.

YABU for even giving this a second thought.

A letter for a £6.5k trip would have gone straight in the bin.

How wildly inappropriate for the school to have a travel company come in and try to normalise a stupid amount of money for a school trip. Scammers preying on almost children.

@Wario54 She's full of excitement about trekking through the jungle and cuddling Orangutans.

Wild animals are not pokemon. They are not for cuddling and they should be left alone.

I've been to Borneo. That's cheap for that particular holiday and a once in a lifetime opportunity. I'd move heaven and earth to see if she can go - is borrowing from family an option?

Read the room babe

That is crazy! Our school (not in a deprived area) has had expensive trips, some in the thousands to Canada and New Zealand. I don’t agree with these very expensive trips. It just makes the gap between those that are struggling and those that are not more obvious, the kids whose parents can’t afford it feel rubbish that they are missing out. These kids are in state school, there should be a cap on the price of school trips so that most can afford it. I was lucky that my kids were not interested in the very expensive trips.

You get the prize for completely missing the point of the thread, which is what a difficult, unfair position the school's behaviour puts families in.

Why on earth should anyone borrow from family for this.

Utter bollocks.

My daughter would not be attending the trip.
That’s a ridiculous amount of money and we could go away as a family - infact I think we even went to America for around that one year.

@Catcatcat111 is right - that’s an obscene amount of money to ask for kids to go on a trip.
And it takes me back to when I was in high school - I was either 15 or 16, and they announced a trip to Italy from our small high school in the Central Valley of California.
I don’t even think I knew the amount, because I never asked my parents.
I recall it being over $2000.
Both my older siblings were at university and my parents (well, my mum mainly) were putting them through and I couldn’t see myself adding to that.
But we’re a farming town - nobody was rich. I think maybe 5 or 6 kids out of a total of 800 in our school went on that trip.
My cousin went - she brought me back a coin purse.
I still have the little coin purse but I don’t have her.
I’d just as soon have her.

We are going well cash wise- no chance would I splash that one one child.

Yeah look my son's school does these as well and hardly anyone goes because pretty much no one is going to drop $8k (aud) on something like this for one child. She will just have to understand and suck it up. I doubt many of her friends will be going anyway. Dont let it play on your mind.

Personally, I wouldn't say "NO"

But I would explain that you can only cover X (what ever you think is reasonable for a normal 1-week style average school trip) e.g. 600 (I have no idea what normal school trip costs these days...). Obviously that would still leave the vast vast majority for her to fundraise herself.

Obviously she is unlikely to be able to do that, but I don't like restricting the aspirations of teenagers because they can really surprise you (sometimes...) Almost certainly she will fail to reach the amount, or loose interest as it becomes less likely... but why deny her the small chance of succeeding - which would be a huge thing for someone at that age.

If this were my son, I'd prepare a "back-up" plan though, anticipating for them failing. Maybe a more reasonable family trip option that does some stuff that is similar to the things that are exciting her about this trip.

That way she can push herself and try, but won't be entirely heartbroken if she fails.

I could afford it and I wouldn't drop that money like that at that age.
I wouldn't dampen the enthusiasm - that's lovely that she wants to do it (my daughters at 16 would have hated the idea of trekking through the jungle!!)
I would encourage her to think of taking a gap year when she finishes school, workign to earn the money and maybe going for a longer time and doing some eco-volunteering. As an 18 year old, you can do a lot more than at 16 and no need for high levels of supervision (remembering that part of the cost is paying for people to accompany them from the UK). It would be something tor really look forward to and to work towards.

They can't be taking many kids on a trip like that anyway because of the sheer practicalities of it. Say to your daughter she can go but only if she is able to raise all of the money for it. Say you'll contribute a token amount to get her started, like £100 (if that's affordable) but she has to raise the rest. I'd be concerned that fundraising for the trip and excitement over it might get in the way of her school work though. Just depends on the kind of person she is. It could also be a good motivator for her if you put conditions on it, like she has to work hard and do well in her exams alongside the fundraising in order to be allowed to go. I doubt many/any of her friends will go. It's crazy money. I was selected for a charity project abroad when I was at school and we had to raise the money, we couldn't just be given it by family. Was all part of the challenge.

You have to tell her she can't go. It's part of life.

It is far more important that your daughter concentrates on her exams, rather than trying to raise money for this trip. I remember these world challenge trips from when my children were at school. They did not go on them. The fundraising was supposed to be part of it. I remember lots of parents asking us to sponsor their child to do it. These were the pushy parents, not the ones we were friends with or whose children were friends with ours. We always declined.

I think that's very wrong of the school to dangle a trip like that in front of a bunch of teenagers. Of course they're going to get excited and want to go especially if you tell them "oh you can fundraise for part of the cost..."
Realistically, how much? Like 10% if they really bust their hump? That's really wrong. Unless the school is giving a free trip to all the highest earners as an incentive to get those grades up perhaps, and I doubt that's what they're doing.
When I was the same age as your daughter, there were all kinds of school trips going on. And I didn't go on any of them because I knew that it would have been an extra financial cost on my parents that we just couldn't afford. I totally put it out of my mind, no matter how good or interesting or exotic it sounded, I knew that I would be spending my breaks at home, and working to make money for future schooling.
It was unfair then to dangle trips like that in front of a bunch of kids, and it's unfair now too.

I did a World Challenge trip to Malawi when I was 17 (we went the summer between Y12 and 13) and it was genuinely one of the best things I ever did. This was about 20 years ago so I think the cost was around £2k but I did raise it all myself (combination of Saturday job and lots of cake sales, washing cars, etc.) and so did the other students I went with. We all came from a similar area to yours, there is no way my family could have helped with the money but I managed it. A lot of us signed up initially, and then ten of us actually stuck with it and did it.
I would try not to think of it as a school trip and if your daughter is genuinely keen on it, help her break down how much she would have to earn / raise per week or month until the trip and explain that you won't be able to help financially. Also find out how the school are going to support them - will they let the group do unlimited cake sales, car washes for staff, etc.
I appreciate that my view is different to most of the other replies, but I genuinely do think these experiences can be really valuable to young people.

This is ludicrous but especially alongside GCSE. At age 15 (year 10) most kids can’t even get paid work, so would have to wait til year 11 before anyone would give them a job.

My dh managed a Tesco night shift from age 15 onwards, on a Fri and Sat. He earned decent money and saved it all to put himself through uni. He got pretty bad results in his GCSEs perhaps because he was working 15 hours a week in Tesco.

if dc does try to attempt it…
I do know someone whose child raised quite a lot of cash for a trip like this. One of the many things they did was grow seedlings in early spring (mum helped) - got neighbours to donate spare plastic plant pots and grew absolutely dozens of baby plants, then sold them at the kerbside (they lived in an ideal location for this). Someone at the local allotments gave him some spare soil from his compost heap. So the kid sold herbs and flowers also baby tomato plants, runner beans, French beans, courgettes, and so on. Each plant cost £2 and most people in the neighbourhood bought a couple. Good plants and the kid made a decent amount of money for 2 years.

But not close to £6k …

@redteapot i agree with you except this is end of y11 . You just can’t get the kind of job you would need in y10 and y11.if they were planning it for summer y12 that’s a different thing

My next family holiday is 3 grand all inclusive. No chance would i spend that on 1 person going away.

Are you sure this is a school trip and not just an external company advertising through school?

have her work towards taking a gap year where she can work full time for 6 months and then go traveling or going somewhere with a gap year company for 6 months. She will be able to get a lot more for her 6,500 then