Can't afford Dd's very expensive school trip

[Wario54]

My DD is 15 and in year 10 at the moment. We live a deprived part of the North of England. She goes to a local, state comprehensive

My DH has had his hours reduced at work in recent months. I work part time in retail (can't get anymore hours unfortunately - I have asked). Like a lot of families, we're financially struggling to keep our heads above water. But we get by (somehow) and I never take the little things for granted (that we have each other, food on the table and a roof over our heads). We've not told our kids about our financial worries - they know there isn't much spare money but not about the extent of our problems.

Dd has come home tonight with a letter and great excitement about another school trip. They had a guest speaker today (external travel company) in assembly today enthusing them about a trip to Borneo of all places. It's 4 weeks long and the cost is £6,500. Currently planned for June/July 2027 (just after her GCSE'S). They are expected to fundraise some of the cost themselves (bake sales, sponsored walks etc) but we will have to pay the majority if she's to go.

She said today that she'll get a Saturday job to cover some of the cost herself. But even with that, taken into account we just can't afford it. It breaks my heart, because I'd love to give her that opportunity but I know we simply can't.

She's full of excitement about trekking through the jungle and cuddling Orangutans. But how do I tell her when she's already set her heart on it? 😢

I just think the school are being completely ridiculous by offering such an expensive trip in a cost of living crisis.

Why didn't they email direct to parents? Is anybody interested in this trip ( with all details ) then please reply Yes and if numbers are sufficient we will hold an evening meeting with the travel company.

And now I am singing Boxerbeat...!
Thank you! Great name.

Is it World Challenge? I did a trip with them (over £3k) twenty years ago. It was good, but not amazing. My parents ended up paying about half, and they really couldn’t afford it either.

I’m sure if I hadn’t have gone I’d have been upset, but I’d have got over it - as will your DD - and if you’re clear with her she will understand. Now might be the time to come clean with her about your finances. £6.5k is a ludicrous sum.

Save up for her going to uni instead. If you could afford it, could you offer to save for a family holiday in Europe for you all - or even just her? - for when she’s 18?

Remind her when she can earn her own money as an adult she can go on all the trips to Borneo she wants.

Hold fast, OP - it really is not worth the money.

Shite I didn't spot it , need to learn to RTFT

My income this year will be £189 K DH £125K we wouldn't pay this for a school trip, it is clearly ridiculous.

I'm afraid I'd of just laughed if my kids had brought home such a letter ..
In fact they wouldn't of done , because they would've of seen it for the piss take it was

Well we would all love to go to Borneo and see the orangutans. But most adults can't afford it. It's a once-in-a-lifetime trip, not a routine school trip that kids undertake at school.

I had no guilt about saying "if anyone is going on expensive overseas trips, it's me" to my DD when her school planned one such. This is not an appropriate outing for schoolchildren- it's simply too expensive.

@Wario54

This isn't an amount of money that it's realistic to earn.

I'd really nail this down with her... point out she'd need to find over 300£ a month for 20 months... EVERY month... So inevitably shed be begging relatives... I'd be cheesed off if a relative was trying to raise such an extraordinary amount when it's massively overpriced.

It's also a lesson in avoiding outlandish sale tactics. I'd tell her how she'd be raising money to pay for holiday company share holder profits.

There are MUCH cheaper orangutan options...

Tell her she CAN go to Borneo but this is a goal to have AFTER she's finished school or gap year or uni years.

Presumably she hadn't mentioned Borneo before yesterday?? Next week it could have been saving elephants in Sri Lanka or mountain tigers in wherever....

Encourage her to start researching /saving for an epic gap/Post uni year!

That’s a ridiculous amount of money! I can’t see many being able to afford that tbh.

it would be a no from me a school trip at that cost

QFT. I'd be writing a strongly worded letter to the school, including asking them how much of a backhander they are getting and whether they fancy contributing that to the pool of costs.

I think you’ll find no one can afford it. And if you said yes by the time it arrives it either won’t be happening or only people she wouldn’t want to go with can do it.

That's bloody ridiculous! I wouldn't feel guilty saying no to that. And financially we are fine.

Even if you paid me I wouldn't go with a class of teens somewhere. You can hardly call that a holiday. It's def work being responible for a group of teens in a foreign country.

I agree with @TomatoSandwiches

It is so ridiculously unrealistic that it makes me wonder is someone with power or influence at the school has a financial interest in the company that sent the guest speaker. I’m probably out of touch but when did schools start organising sales pitches for school trips. If that’s going to happen it should be a presentation to the parents, who will be paying rather than the children who are unwittingly being used to pressure parents

Tell her 'no' but suggest she still gets a job and starts saving for a gap year.

The school will not he making a profit on this trip. The costs will be down to.what the external providers charge. There will be a lot of costs for insurance, the staff and running activities etc. Even though you are in a deprived part of the country it doesn't mean that such opportunities should not be offered. It does mean, I fully realise, that these might not be taken.ip. it may sound harsh but in.life we cannot always have what we want. I say that as someone who was not able to go on.even.more modestly priced trips when I was at school. Can you sit down and work.out how much she would need to earn if she were to go on.this trip? Also, she must be aware that dad is not working as much. I don't think it's unreasonable to give a bit more info re your financial situation. You could speak to the school to see if you qualify for a reduced cost via Pupil Premium funds.

I don't understand why someone would expect a teacher to pay for the trip. You are asking them essentially then to be out of pocket and work for free. Without them.being at work for the trip far longer than a regular working week, the trip could not go ahead. Who else would be expected to.pay for the privilege of working? - madness. It's not a holiday for the teachers.

Agree that it should have occurred to your DD at her age that this is a huge ask,and likely not feasible.

Edited for knobby typo.

I'd be straight up to the school. It's obvious the person making that decision is on another planet or has been duped.
Can they go for 10 days to a more suitable destination?

50 saved per week for a year and a half adds up to half of that price. It is out of reach of children to save for themselves.

Honest right from the start, Op.

It's too expensive, DD, the holiday is not remotely feasible.

It's fine for DD to know the value of money and what is needed to finance a family. Talk to her about budgeting.

The school are being ridiculous setting the students expectations as high as this. A lot of the extra expense is you are paying for the teachers tickets to accompany them. You mention that you live on a deprived area. Therefore, many families would not be able to afford a trip coming in at less than £1000 yet alone £6500. That's almost the price of two holidays for the whole family just for 1 person. I am sure your daughter would understand if you explained your situation., even if she is disappointed. My parents spent a lot to send me on a school trip many years ago only for me to not enjoy it and for them to spend another small fortune for reverse charge telephone calls as I was homesick. School trips are not always great.

I am very comfortable and I wouldn't pay for that trip. The orang utans don't want a bunch of clueless teenagers putting more stress on their ecosystem. The idea that teenagers can raise that amount of money in a deprived area while keeping up their schoolwork is just mind-boggling. These trips by and large do not help deprived communities and if your daughter is that keen to help the deprived she could volunteer in her own community. I also suspect that hiking in Borneo may not be that much fun in reality - blisters, sunburn and insect bites are very likely. I would have understood as a child not to even mention this sort of trip to my parents who managed by being very careful with money. I think your daughter should be more aware of financial realities.

Do the school do loads of fundraising activities? Our school is doing a trip to South America for 2 weeks, costing 3000, but the majority is being raised out of the home. They do bingo and quiz nights, a Christmas fete, school disco, cake sales, car washing for staff, wreath making, etc etc. They have 2 years to raise the money and it means no child is excluded.

That is absolutely ridiculous! How unfair of the school to dangle that in front of the kids.

I’d say that 6.5k is way too much for a trip to (presumably) Sabah.

We went to Sepilok, camped in the jungle and went down Sungai Kinabatangan, visited the Gomantong Caves, went to Pulau Sipadan and ‘helped’ release baby turtles at night, climbed Mount Kinabalu, and stayed in a very nice hotel near Kota Kinabalu for some luxury afterwards. We then stayed in a good hotel visiting relatives in Singapore.

It was much less than 6.5k! I don’t think we’ve ever spent that much on a trip to South East Asia (and we’ve been a fair bit as it gives us a chance to stopover and see family).

Your daughter would be much better advised to earn her money in her Saturday job over the next couple of years and then backpack it with friends in the school holidays after school. All the activities that this company are offering will be much cheaper booked directly, which she can do on the internet.

Malaysia is really not challenging. She’ll have no problem just speaking English (and if she really wanted to learn, Malay (Bahasa) is quite fun as different structure to European languages).