Can't afford Dd's very expensive school trip

[Wario54]

My DD is 15 and in year 10 at the moment. We live a deprived part of the North of England. She goes to a local, state comprehensive

My DH has had his hours reduced at work in recent months. I work part time in retail (can't get anymore hours unfortunately - I have asked). Like a lot of families, we're financially struggling to keep our heads above water. But we get by (somehow) and I never take the little things for granted (that we have each other, food on the table and a roof over our heads). We've not told our kids about our financial worries - they know there isn't much spare money but not about the extent of our problems.

Dd has come home tonight with a letter and great excitement about another school trip. They had a guest speaker today (external travel company) in assembly today enthusing them about a trip to Borneo of all places. It's 4 weeks long and the cost is £6,500. Currently planned for June/July 2027 (just after her GCSE'S). They are expected to fundraise some of the cost themselves (bake sales, sponsored walks etc) but we will have to pay the majority if she's to go.

She said today that she'll get a Saturday job to cover some of the cost herself. But even with that, taken into account we just can't afford it. It breaks my heart, because I'd love to give her that opportunity but I know we simply can't.

She's full of excitement about trekking through the jungle and cuddling Orangutans. But how do I tell her when she's already set her heart on it? 😢

I just think the school are being completely ridiculous by offering such an expensive trip in a cost of living crisis.

I hadn't realised that such things existed, but it must be something like this.

https://www.schoolsworldwide.co.uk/trips/communities-jungles-rivers

Could you tell her that you've realised that she will need your help with living costs at University and that focussing on making that possible will be a better springboard for her life than what will be a relatively short holiday?

It's an awful lot of money. I would understand someone considering it in the final year of a degree in, say, zoology, but not at GCSE level.

My original post wasn't written by AI, so I'm not sure why some of you think it was?

Thanks for all your comments. I'm going to sit down with her tomorrow and spell it out - that me and DH can't afford to help with the cost. Explaining our financial situation if necessary. That we want her to focus on her GCSE's without distractions like fundraising. If she's still adamant that she wants to go then I'll use pp's suggestion of helping her plan a similar trip (with friends) for when she's older

I don't know what the school were thinking... I'm going to write to the governors because it's just not fair on the kids to be pitching so an unrealistic dream

I know it has been mentioned in the past on messages in the past but it is a fact apparently that the pupils going will be paying for the teachers who are going. I realize some teachers are needed but I wonder how much the teachers are paying out of their own money. I know in the past teachers have posted and said it is the case they have to look after the schoolchildren. Many parents have objected to such trips as they would effectively be paying for teachers to have a free holiday. It is a vastly overpriced trip and once your DD and her friends are working full time I expect they could go on a similar trip for a much cheaper price.

As the parent of 6 kids who all have been, or are still in, high school it really isnt. This shit happens. It shouldnt but it does.

Also wondering where the idea came from. Who suggested it and why? It's doesn't sound like a pupil led idea , more a fully formed idea pitched to the children. Personally I think it's disgraceful that the school did this. It feels underhand and sort of backing parents into a corner. It's a private company making a profit pretending to be helping others and educational. What's next? B&Q going in and promoting the benefits of a new kitchen , the kids fundraising for that and help install it at home? Maybe that I wouldn't mind

You are. Advanced Search is your friend if you think a poster may be AI or a mediabot trying to create rage bait.

Far too expensive and far too long

And if you think a poster isnt genuine, thats what the report button is for.

Sorry OP, I can't actually believe this happens, please accept my apology.

In some cases the students’ fees partially cover staff costs but honestly, would I want to take 25 14 and 15 year olds to Malaysia for a month in my school summer holiday for no extra pay?. No. I would not. Not even if the trip was free to me. They work bloody hard and have a whole lot of responsibility. Whatever the reason for these preposterously expensive trips, I genuinely don’t think it’s driven by teachers wanting a free junket. Not unless they’re really misguided.

This! Wtf. Completely tonedeaf.

You are right, I'll see if I can have my post removed.

I had similar situation many moons ago.

i just said to my DD if we could rustle up that amount of money we would be going on a fab holiday together.

She seemed happy with that.

Hard no from me and we have two kids in private school & a high joint income! Crazily expensive. What’s wrong with a bus & ferry across to Europe?!

That's ridiculous. And irresponsible of the school in my opinion. They should have consulted the parents first. 4 weeks and at at that cost. Parents have a right to be mad IMO

Good point. A very expensive trip is not a charity donation. If people get something in return for donating that's one thing, but I imagine most of the community won't be enthused about this fundraiser if they think it's totally ridiculous. I'm in Canada, that's almost $13k here which is absurd.

Especially as potential donors are loathe to give up their own money for someone else's kid's holiday.

It may even be more than that with extras tacked on. She will need some spending money. I can’t believe the school has organised such a trip.

I think many other parents would be thinking the same.

I completely agree these kinds of “voluntourism” trips are vastly overpriced and ethically dubious, however it’s certainly not a free holiday for the teachers! Do you have any idea of the amount of work that goes into planning a trip, any trip let alone one like this, all for no extra pay or time. A friend of mine ran a similar trip at her school, she missed 3 weeks of her summer holidays for it and arranged a lot of fundraising activities herself as the kids turned out to be a bit crap at it.

Personally I love running school trips (more normal ones) however it is definitely work and not a holiday. Also most companies offer a certain number of free staff places per trip so you are not paying for the teachers- the trip couldn’t run without them.

Nothing wrong with your DD knowing what’s affordable and what isn’t. I agree you should break it down into how many hours it’d take to earn that amount of money at mimimim wage, to put it in perspective. £6500?? Would it not be more useful to save up for a car? My DD went on one of these expensive trips (£1500 in 2015) and I don’t think she got as much value out of it as we’d hoped. If I could turn back time it’d be a flat no. Get a good job, work hard, then have your expensive holiday when you’re mature enough to appreciate it!

That's insane, I'd be furious with the school for putting me in that position, what the fuck were they thinking? Borneo?? Six and a half grand?? Erm no! Like others have said hardly many will go so I wouldn't worry...

Honestly £6500 is stupid money for a holiday.

15 year olds earn £7.55 an hour I think. So if she worked an 8 hour shift every Saturday she'd have to work every Saturday for over two years to earn it.

Can she not think of all the other things she could do with her money if she got a Saturday job that doesn't involve Borneo and cuddling animals?

I'd be going nuts at the school. It's cruel to the children to dangle what is essentially an impossible dream in front of them.

Poor kid.

I'd love to know who the idiot in the school who put this forward as a viable option, honestly don't they know there's a cost of living crisis?

There have been more than a couple of threads over the 25 odd years I have been on here that have referenced this, often in a work context.

"AIBU to refuse to sponsor my colleagues kid's fun run so he can go to Africa for a month" type stuff, because they are being seen as mean and cheap to not do it by other colleagues. I dont remember many saying YABU!

My DS’s school - also a state school in a deprived area - is offering a trip to Borneo just like this.

Fortunately my DS is not interested, but I’ve got a friend whose DC has their heart set on it, and they’ve had to tell their DC that it just won’t be happening - they can’t afford to pick up the £6.5k themselves and it’s an unrealistic amount for their teenage DC to raise.

Their DC seems to be taking the disappointment well, but it’s a bit shit that parents are having to be put in the position of having to feel like they’re letting their children down, when it’s clearly too expensive to be achievable by most families at the school.
Fundraising’s only going to get you so far when you’re in an area where most people are strapped for cash.