I’m ill I don’t want sex it won’t help

[babasaclover]

Currently so poorly rundown and ill been off work sick.

husband constantly offering to give me a back rub or trying it on in general. I just want to wallow I certainly don’t want an orgasm which he thinks will help.

have had a cuddle etc but not having sex so today I’m getting the stroppy treatment. I can see why some people choose to live alone. What can I say kindly to make him see that sex is not on the cards but i still love him and I even told him I enjoyed the cuddle last night and all he could say was I bet you’re wet - how can he not read the room after decades together

This is genuinely horrible. Leave him.

You’re ill, you shouldn’t be having to massage his ego and deal with his strops because you don’t want sex.
If he actually liked you at all, he’d be more concerned with you getting better than getting his leg over.

Dear DH, I’ve told you repeatedly that I am sick and don’t want sex. You continuing to pressure me regardless is abusive behaviour and makes me really question your character. Stop now before you put me off you forever.

You feel repulsive? Do you mean repulsed? Because he’s the repulsive one in this situation. He’s gross.

It took one conversation with my DH for him to understand that when I'm ill/in a bad mood or whatever then I do not want sex. For him he does want sex if he's in a bad mood because it cheers him up whereas for me I only want sex if I'm in a good mood. Since then he's never pestered me or even asked when I'm not in the mood.

The fact he's actually sulking about it is disgusting. He should be looking after you not pestering you for sex and then having a strop when you don't feel like it.

Disgusting sex pest 🤮

Use these words "Fck off and have a wnk. Try again when I'm fully better, and you've had time to think about your attitude". 👍

He can't read the room because he doesn't want to.

He's an abusive prick who thinks that you have a duty to 'give' him sex regardless of whether you want it or not.

Him giving you the 'stroppy treatment' is actually coercive control.

Don't minimise it.

Why do you have to say it kindly and fawn over him to make sure he's still loved?
He's not 5.

He's not in anyway being kind or loving to you by stropping off and pestering you when you say no thank you. Why does he deserve care and understanding & you dont?

That 'bet you're wet' comment is both rage and puke inducing. That's quite the skill.

My ex was like this. I’m going to stay single forever, by choice.

He’s not being kind to you so there’s no need to be kind to him. Tell him to go away you’re ill.

This could have been me last week. Unfortunately, I’ve had a run of illness including UTIs, stomach problems and now the full-blown flu. I’m just at the end of it. When I came down with it on Tuesday lying in bed in the fetal position, my husband came up for I imagine getting in bed with me and then stropped about for the next 48 hours because I was very ill. He told me I was moping about. I was genuinely thinking, how much easier it would be to just be on your own and not to feel guilty for being poorly and not wanting sex. You have my sympathies.

Lies. If you told him that, why are you asking to tell him ‘kindly’.
use the words sex pest, repulsive and disgusting on him and then you are actually addressing the issue.

He sounds disgusting. Unless he realises how badly he's behaving and completely changes soon I'd be getting rid of him as soon as you're feeling up to it.

Just tell him to fuck off

I never cease to be horrified by the attitudes some women’s husbands (on this website particularly, never heard of irl) have towards sex. It’s totally alien to me and my experiences. I’ve never known a man to act like a depraved animal with complete lack of self control, continually demanding it, initiating it and sulking when he doesn’t get it. Sex is a mutual act - if I didn’t want it, my partner wouldn’t even be interested to begin with, I’ve never been pestered in my life and I worry that some people think this is normal behaviour.

It’s wonderful being on my own and not having to deal with that type of crap anymore.

It’s real I’m afraid.

OP might mean she’s feels repulsive in herself because she’s ill.

Ugh

Leave this man xx

Ugh, he's vile. Absolutely no consideration for how you're feeling, just thinking about his wants & his cock! It gives me the ick just reading about it.
What is wrong with these so called men? How on earth can he not understand that harassing your wife for sex when she's ill (or at any time!) & then sulking when you don't get your own way, are not the reasonable actions of a grown up.
Honestly, if DH behaved like that with me I'd be seriously reevaluating our relationship.

I live a lone and its bliss.

You tell him that nothing makes you dry up quicker than a sex pest and if he persists in this sexually coercive behaviour the next thing you give him will be divorce papers.

That actually made me feel sick. I feel genuinely really sorry for you OP.

Your husband needs to know how much of a massive turn off he is. The thought of him has made every woman that has read your post want to throw up, including me 😅

I would categorically rather be alone than with someone like this.

Exactly that I shouldn’t be having to think about this at all!!

sorry he is like that to you, it does seem simpler to be alone

Yes that’s what I mean. I feel repulsive look at state definitely do not feel or could get in the mood!!!