Unfollowed on SM

[leicester66]

So ive known this friend for more than 35 years. Some arguments on and off through the years but we always make up and get back to normal. It’s not a intense friendship as we don’t really share friends so a few times a year we meet up which is nice. Deep down i don’t think her life is exactly as she would want it is married with 2 children but i sense some bitterness there. Anyway along comes social media we are both on insta i tend to post a lot just family stuff holidays etc she not so much. A y way about a year ago she decided to un follow me and when i asked why she just said she doesnt need to see what i post and how we can be friends with me without following me. She follows other friends.
I wanted to ask opinions on this and AIBU that she isnt a real friend as she seems offended by looking st my life style. Occasionaly i might send a photo of something she might be interested in and she will look at ot but hardly ever comment.
Thiughts please.

There is one social media site that I use only for work topics (my work is nothing to do with social media, there just happens to be an active community around my profession there). So I might mute a frequent poster there who was posting non-work stuff because that's not the reason I'm there. Just adding because it might have nothing to do with you at all.

You're coming across as incredibly passive-aggressive.

You clearly dislike this 'friend' so just let it go ffs.

Why do you think it must just be you? Millions of people post as you do. Loads of other people like to curate their feeds and not see selfies and people’s holiday snaps. Maybe she wants a more inspirational feed, or a feed more about her hobby, or a feed more about her close circle of friends. Her social media usage is not about you.

I unfollow anyone who posts selfies.

Are you usually this passive-aggressive? People's ideas of 'boring' are entirely subjective, just as people's ideas about what constitutes frequent posting. It's OK that what and how often you are posting doesn't happen to suit one individual.

I love my ultra-marathon-running friend, and I'm very happy to see occasional photos of things like sand dunes (Marathon des Sables) and the firearm he was issued with when doing an ultra in the arctic circle in case of polar bear attacks. I don't want twice-daily running logs, or accounts of his nutrition, or his difficulties in finding the right kind of sled. This does not mean I don't value his friendship. It means I unfollow or snooze.

I unfollowed my sister in law because she only posted "perfect life" stuff and I was going through a really really crap time and it felt like she was being completely unsympathetic with the volume of stuff she was posting. However I was very aware that it was my issue and not hers. Had she asked I probably would have said something similar to your friend.

Look at it this way, back before technology would you go round to someone’s house with your photo album to show them all your holiday snaps and expect them to be interested? No, of course you wouldn’t.

So why on earth do you expect them to be interested in your holiday pictures, day out pictures and selfies(!!) on SM?

@ResusciAnnie maybe read my post properly before replying.

So interesting to see the usual nasty people on here (not all)who are clearly sad and agressive. AT the end of the day i know its envy which is very sad from a friend. I was just interested to see what people would say as ive never posted on here before. Even if i was bored of a friends posts i would just scroll past. Someone mentioned likes on here it’s nothing to do with that as lots of people look at stories etc and never comment but to actually unfollow a friend is nasty and envious. I mean jesus christ if you are jealous of anyone at least hide it🤦‍♀️

I read all your posts, you just don’t like my answer 😘

If you don't like them or speak to them anymore, why on earth would you be okay with sharing everything about your life with them?!

No-ones jealous of you hun.

Did your Mum tell you when you were at school that people who didn't want you to lead all the games or just didn't want to be friends with you were just jealous?

It's this ridiculous thing stemming from the patriarchy where girls and women must always be in competition with each other so if you're disliked, it must be because they're jealous of you.

I never hear it said by men or about men.

My thoughts are that I wouldn’t give a shit.

Follows me, doesn’t follow me, who cares?

As long as the friendship is otherwise good, that’s fine.

I have a very good friend who I no longer follow because she posts far, far too many political posts (nothing offensive, just far too many). Doesn’t affect our friendship in real life.

I tend to unfollow friends if what they post is boring and repetitive. For example - "just on the train!" - no interesting details, just their big face. "Just climbed a massive hill!" With a picture of grass or a field. Also, people who post several times a day or week, it's just too much.

I dont think people understand how to use social media properly.

to actually unfollow a friend is nasty and envious

wow

That's just you. Most of us wouldn't even notice if a friend "unfollowed" us 😂- and I have very private accounts with small numbers of friends.

But if it makes you feel better, instead of accepting that your content is either boring, irrelevant or cringeing for someone and you prefer to think they're "jealous", go for it.

The person who unfollowed you literally removed you from their mind and hasn't thought a second about you, but you are giving them a lot of your time!

Even my kids don't care about their social media that much, and they must be a lot younger than you 😂

Have you not considered that she might be quite unhappy, and that she could use some empathy rather than calling her ‘nasty’ and ‘jealous’? It sounds like you don’t actually like her anyway, so why do you even care that she has unfollowed you? Unless it’s because you’ve got one less person to brag about your life to?

😂😂😂

There's no right or wrong way though.

You just don't find the same things interesting, and that's ok. It doesn't mean you are doing it right and they're not.

I too think you've got it arse about face. I hate selfies with a passion.
I know what my friends look like.
I have snoozed a few friends who's posting gets on my nerves but not actually blocked them. Your friend has explained why just take it at face value.

@25percentoffeverything actually she loves what I love 😂looking back now it’s actually unrealistic for people to comment on this not knowing the personalities of us both. So it’s fine. I will try to delete my post as I’m actually now bored

Now you know how she feels about your social media posts 😉

Unfollowing someone is not nasty and envious.

She is taking control over her own life and deciding on what she chooses to fill it with. As someone else said up thread, back in the halcyon days, in the real world, before SM existed, no-one knocked on random doors armed with a photo album and assumed the occupants wanted to see them! You would have been given short shift!

I've unfollowed a few of my friends on social media largely because they post umpteen times a day, and it gets really wearing after a while.

Yes, it is. I've unfriended all but a handful of people on FB. Anyone local was zapped because if they're local and we're friends then let's meet up for a natter. Tbh the remaining few are only there because of nostalgia.