To just let 2 year old sleep in my bed?

[Tykia]

We have 2, 9 & 13 year old and the 2 year old has always been a rubbish sleeper, he’s never slept through the night, constant wake ups ect and I didn’t do anything different with him compared to the older two.

Me and DH both work full time in fairly stressful jobs and I just need to sleep!

He used to go down in his cot really quickly but would only last a few hours then he would be up every hour or so just wanting a cuddle/to sleep on me (even if it was me holding him in his bedroom sat on the floor). The last couple of weeks he seems absolutely traumatised even entering his bedroom.

We have tried the CIO method and it just didn’t work, I think it made him scared of his bedroom tbh, and it just didn’t feel like that is the right approach for him.

As a last resort last night I put him in my bed with a baby monitor on (i went up to bed around 2 hours after him) and he slept for 11 hours STRAIGHT!!!

is it stupid to just let him sleep with us so we all actually get a decent nights sleep? Or am I truthfully just setting ourselves up for disaster further down the line?

Any advice would be massively appreciated.

Aww, I miss co sleeping with my little ones. Now I’d be looked at like I was an alien with 3 heads if I even suggested it.
Do what’s right for your sanity, I say.
Kids are different and opinions are like assholes, everyone has one.
Don’t overshare is all I’d say … it’s a dividing topic but luckily in your house, it’s your rules! As long as you and partner are on same page it’s all good!

He’s only 2 it won’t hurt for a bit longer

find out what the issue is with the room, let him pick some bits for it and gradually get him back in there

This.
Whatever gets the most people the most sleep is the thing to do.

Of course it’s not silly to do that. It’s the most normal thing in the world and helps your child to feed safe and secure. I’ve bed shared with all of mine, they generally move to their own room at 4ish, with some encouragement.

Just keep an eye on your marriage too.

I coslept with both if mine from birth until the age they both naturally chose to sleep alone in their own beds.

Both were frequent wakers and I chose to have more sleep rather than to keep getting out of bed.

I have absolutely no regrets. I enjoyed our time cosleeping. It's a lovely, natural thing to do.

I co-slept with both of mine. The first one because I was so exhausted I thought I'd end up losing it, the second because I had loved it so much with the first. They both moved out when they wanted and I missed them!

My marriage is great thank you.

My marriage was at its worst when none of us was sleeping!!

It's so common at this age for them to just want their mum at night. My daughter wanted me in the room with her and then at 3 in the bed with her. I went with it and I have never regretted it. The sense of safety and trust and the regulation they get from it makes it worth it imo.

You need to sleep train properly.
Your bed should be a child, laptop, food and pet free zone.

@Tykia
On this very thread.
How? I'd say imagine you were your grandparents generation, whatever they would have done.

Says who? That’s a bit OTT

Am I a cautionary tale? 😂

If it has to be done it has to be done!!

My child had none of these. So tell me, then what wizard tricks should one try.

As CIO has made him scared of his room then I think meet him sleep in your bed. He’s 2 he will forget the CIO soon enough. In the meantime work on making his room a good place again then when he’s happy with his room make a big deal of getting him new bedding he can choose and a teddy or whatever works and say he’s a big boy now he has to go to sleep in his bed. Then always let him in yours if/when he wakes for your sanity but have a hard rule he has to start in his bed. I’ve done this with my just 3 year old and his dad (separated) has to go to bed with him in dads bed then sneak out when toddler asleep because he knows he’s got dad wrapped around his little finger. I tried putting him back to bed he screams and wakes his siblings so I don’t care about him in with me. Some day he will sleep the night in his own bed if you can just get them to start the night in their own bed

So what do you suggest?

My first very lovely health visitor said 'Do whatever you have to to get everyone the most sleep.' It got me through four babies.

Well, my dad and his brothers and sisters got a clout round the ear if they woke their parents, and were not infrequently locked in their rooms at night...

Maybe the poster means something along those lines? If waking you is a scarier option than lying in fear and silently crying into the pillow, then eventually your children will learn to do the latter.

Did it for years with DS...he slept, I slept, DH slept...sometimes he'd nip in spare room. Everyones happy. Doesnt last forever. Do it 🤷‍♀️

Regarding 'what would grandparents do?' I read my grandmother's baby book from the 1920s which said 'Put the baby to bed at 10pm and have nothing further to do with them until 7am.' Explains my mother's lifelong crippling night-time anxiety.

My daughter wanted me to sleep in her bed every night ..until we moved house when she was coming up to 10. Turns out she felt scared in our old house like it was haunted. It's not happened at all since moving

I'd do it. I co slept with both of mine when they were younger, it used to be me, DD2 and baby DS 😅

Both still occasionally sleep in my bed now ( 9 & 11 ) but it's definetly a treat and not a need. I have a king-size and it's just us 3 who live here, so occasionally we will all watch a movie and sleep in my bed. Both more than happy to sleep in their own rooms

I miss mine sleeping with me 😥
Littlest was a wriggler though and kept us awake in our bed, where she slept until she was about 3.5. We then had a spell of her in a camp bed next to our bed and she slept in her own room from arpund 4.