Road rage driver called me fat

[Ouchthatcutdeep]

Had been Christmas shopping yesterday, driving home and traffic lights turned amber as I was literally driving through them.

At the next set of lights some angry man got out his car shouting at me I went through a red light (I certainly didn't as I have the dash cam footage) He was so angry, and yet I hadn't affected him in any way shape or form.

I told him to get a life and he called me a fat bitch. Then got back in his car screaming insults as he went.

I am still shaken but his words have really upset me. I feel down today and embarrassed. I didn't even think I was fat, so why would he say that to me?

Doesn't actually mean you are fat, just that he's too thick to think of anything else to say. It's the auto insult for the dense.
Laugh it off. You were right, he was wrong.
I'd guarantee he wouldn't have gone storming up to white van full of workman. My dad and I were behind a pathetic little bully of a man once in a supermarket queue. He was having a great time being an absolute shit to the teenage girl behind the till over something totally out of her control and she was in tears. Really nasty, personal stuff. He soon shut up when my dad, who looks absolutely terrifying but is lovely, got involved. Virtually shrivelled up and scuttled off muttering.
I always just imagine how miserable and shit their life must be to be so angry over absolute nothing at all.

I actually am fat and this sort of thing has happened to me occasionally. The most stinging part is, like, how is that relevant to my driving/ walking across the road etc? And the answer is of course it isn't, that person is just a massive bellend.

You are absolutely ridiculous.

Fair enough to be shaken by a man getting out to scream at you, many women would feel quite intimidated.

Being so obsessed by your appearance however is not healthy. If you are really unhappy about the way you look, you can do something about it

Oh I love that!

He sounds absolutely unhinged....the insult had absolutely nothing to do with your weight, that is the only insult that entered his little head at that point.
I know you are understandably rattled by this....but honestly imagine what it's like being him, being that angry, nasty and unhappy, or even worse living with him...his poor family.

I absolutely guarantee this man will not be obsessing about whether or not you were correct when you told him to get a life.

Dont give him another second of your precious thought time OP.

If you’d been thin he’d have called you a skinny bitch, or even still a fat bitch. The man is uncouth. Be thankful you’re not going home to him every night 😬 I had a total stranger call me a fat cow, I was neither fat or a cow and he’d never laid eyes on me in his life apart from those few seconds of being on the same street. It upset me for a few seconds then I just thought what a wanker. I also had a guy walking with his mate make chicken noises and doing a chicken walk at me while walking passed me (he was looking straight at me whilst doing it). I am the most understated, invisible person around but morons gonna be morons.

I had a driver call me that too. Its the go to insult for stupid people. I actually am fat though. I just shouted back at him Whatever, mate, I'm fat, you're a cunt, we've all got problems. And drove off. Ignore him.

As a society we are taught the very worst thing we can be is fat. As a woman, we’re taught this is the most cutting insult. So it’s the go to insult of a man (and sometimes woman) who lacks intelligence and imagination.

Responses are:
”I might be fat but I can always lose weight. You’ll always be a pathetic little knobhead”.
Stare at them as if they haven’t finished, “oh sorry, I thought you were going to add something original there and not just a basic angry man insult”.
”Have the day you deserve”.

I am fat. I have had fat bitch thrown at me more times than I can count. What you have to realise is that when someone has to yell at a stranger and verbally abuse them, it has nothing to do with the stranger and everything to do with what is going on in their life. That doesn’t make it right, obviously, but he’d have found something to call you - ugly, fat, bitch, slag. There is no shortage of misogynistic slurs that he could have thrown at you. It’s designed to hurt but it has no bearing on the truth or your value as a person.

Your reply should have been "I can lose weight but you'll always be a cunt".

I know you were joking ☝️and know there are other arseholes around. I just wanted to say there’s more than you think. And as you’ve found out it often takes very little to set them off. I really urge you to develop a fuck ‘em attitude. It’s not easy but once you get into the swing of it, it’s incredibly liberating.

Even on occasions where you have done something wrong (not suggesting you did with this guy) once you’ve offered a sincere apology, if they keep acting up- fuck ‘em.

Don’t allow angry strangers any more power over your feelings than you would a wasp.

Agreed.
It’s the default insult to women. No more to it than that in this case.
Does show the prejudice fat people face though. Most people just hide it to varying degrees.
Try not to give this nasty idiot any further thought. His words say everything about him and nothing about you.

Road rage is for dumb arses, its intelligent to not be a dick

He said it because he thought he had a right to do so, sadly the world is full of scrotes and morons just like him……male and female!
Rise above it, let it go and move on!

Oh bless you OP. He's an angry person with a limited vocabulary. It's absolutely no reflection on you. You're shaken and understandably so. Time, hot drinks and hugs will resolve the situation for you but somewhere there will be a poor woman or family that has to live with that on a daily basis.

I have been road raged by several men over the years. They just say whatever mean thing they think will get a reaction. They are probably beaying their poor wives at home and are arseholes all the time.
Its not personal. You are just a woman and they feel they can intimidate you.
They have the problem. Not you.

Men who think they can insult complete strangers, but only if they’re women obviously.

I’ve found strange men generally to be more aggressive over the last few years. It scares me.

Fat / ugly is the standard insult for any woman who stands up to him or doesn't do exactly what he wants, for a berk like him. They think we're all longing to be fancied by creeps like them and the worst idea they could plant in our heads is that they don't want to shag us. Which just underlines how thick they are. Have you never been hit on, turned him down and then been told you're ugly anyway? When obviously he didn't actually think so, or he wouldn't have been trying to pick you up. Forget the misogynist arse.

Women are not worried to insult other women, or even men.

Road rage is not gender-related. Don't go further than your nearest primary school, I guarantee school run will bring at least one road-rage mother 😂

But you find road-rage drivers, male and female, anywhere.

ask any of your male friends/ relatives, I bet they're just as much "victims" of the same guy as a woman.

I am marginally more worried when it's directed at a man. It's still very unlikely they get physical against a woman, but if it's a man their rage is directed at, it's easy to escalate to physical violence. It's very scary when you have boys who start driving frankly.

I am fat, no two ways about it, but that's on me to change things if I want to, however I have often been insulted by randoms usually when driving etc. It hurts, well it used to but now not really, I think it has a lot to with the menopause, I no longer take any crap from anyone. I can recall crossing a zebra crossing near my house and the car driver slowed down as if to let me cross then changed his mind and rev'd up causing me to stop halfway across as I wasn't sure what he was going to do next.
It was a soft top car, young guy with his friend, who thought it was hilarious and called me a fucking ugly fat bitch. By this point I was annoyed and rather than walk on with my head down, I found my inner anger and refused to move and then I opened my mouth and let rip, I was very very cruel and insulting to the driver, he was gob smacked and me being in the middle of the road meant he was stuck. Not saying be like me OP but do not take it too heart, a size 14 is fine, the other driver was a twat.

An unpleasant experience. Try and forget it. Easier said than done, I know.

But I think road rage -or any kind of rage- triggers a primitive response in people. Fight or flight maybe. And that leads to them behaving in a way they would not normally do. For example, when I drop something my inner voice calls me a “stupid, stupid, girl” or worse (even though I am old!) Probably heard that and internalised it in my youth!

A man (possibly a woman also) will call a woman 'fat' because they know it will likely cause maximum hurt and this is the aim. Whether you're a larger person or a skinny person matters not one bit because it's a common view that it's the worst thing for a woman to be fat and the way to hurt her most. This angry piece of shit isn't worth one more second of thought, they're angry at themselves/having a bad day/fuck knows what and wanted to take it out on the nearest available woman, and be sure that he wouldn't have acted like that with a man because he's likely a coward. Please don't take this to heart, he's not worth it.

I was called a ‘fat lesbian’ during a verbal assault on me. I am neither. People just try to be as nasty as they possibly can during anger. Pay it no heed.

Responding as someone who still dwells on insults from the 80s, I totally understand.

In 2006, I was crossing a road in Central London, and a stupid little dick of a man in a Ferrari totally ran the red light and almost ran me over. I yelled "watch it!" I didn't swear or insult him at all. He opened his window and screamed "fuck off, you fat cunt!"

I wasn't fat either, but after that I certainly thought I was. I've never forgotten it, either.

I find it helps if you visualise something nasty happening to them 😊 - that's the only thing which works for me, unfortunately. I'm also not the type to "just forget it, it means nothing, brush it off!" Easier said than done if you are not thick skinned. Hugs to you, and I bet you look absolutely fine.