To think it's ok to leave the door open for 15 minutes each weekday?

[ILoveMyGonk]

DS started secondary school this year and comes home himself on the bus. I'm at home working at my computer. Generally, when he gets home, he rings the doorbell and I go open the door for him. However, I now have a 15 minute on-camera meeting that exactly coincides with when he gets home, and obviously it gives a terrible impression if I need to leave during the meeting, even though it's only for a minute.

I want to leave the door unlocked, so he can just come in. (It also would need to be open just slightly, the way the lock works.)

DS and DH both think this is way too unsafe and refuse. DS is also refusing to carry a key, as he is afraid of losing it.

AIBU to think it's okay to leave the door open? It's broad daylight, not a terribly crime-ridden area, and only 15 minutes. We even live opposite a primary school, and it's very busy that time of day. I can even see the path leading up to the door from where I'm working, though I'm not sure I could actually get to the door in time to close it if I saw someone concerning approaching.

My teenage son comes round the back when I’m working and lets himself in the back door - unlocked, I can see it from my garden office.
Or he uses a key for the front door.

Just get a keysafe
Simple solution.
Or fit a fancy electronic code operated door lock

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Get a smart lock or biometric lock.

We only lock our front door when we all go out or at bed time

just tell them that you can’t open the door at that time and the choice is your son takes a key, your husband comes home to open the door or you leave the door open. Do not give the option of leaving your meeting.

I would insist on him taking his key and if he loses it get another key cut, how many times is he likely to lose a key? I lost mine once.

I agree your son should be taking a key.

He needs to just use a key tbh. He’s old enough to keep a key safe.

I think leaving the door unlocked is ok but slightly open less so. I would do this once but not regularly as a pattern.
I would give him a key or get a key safe to use just for this occasion.

What age is he, if he can come from school on his own then he needs to accept he's old enough and independent enough to carry a key.

I find that bit quite strange really.

Just get a key safe

I’d be happy leaving the door unlocked, our old front door was unlocked for the best part of 15 years - we did mostly remember to lock it overnight but did forget some nights.
We don’t like in a high crime area and I never felt unsafe.
But the best solution in any case is for him to carry a key that’s clipped into his bag, ds has one, it’s one of those linked above, on a retractable cord so he just unzips his bag and lets himself in. There’s mostly people home when he gets in but not always.
We had a key safe for my grandad’s carers and the cheeky bastard used to take it out and hide it because he didn’t like the carers 🥴

If he's refusing to use a key, he'll just have to sit outside and wait 15 minutes for your meeting to finish - it shouldn't be too hard for him to find a club on that day if he freaks out about waiting outside his own front door as well.

https://amzn.eu/d/9dl3CPe

DS and DH both think this is way too unsafe and refuse. DS is also refusing to carry a key, as he is afraid of losing it

Fairly standard male disregard for how important your work is. I’d tell your son he can sit on the doorstep until you’re free unless he can come up with a better idea (now what might that possibly be?)

It’s fine but seems unnecessary.
What if it blew shut?

I think DS needs to learn some responsibility and so I’d make him take a key.

The worst thing that’s going to happen is he loses it and then he has to wait for your meeting to end before you can let him in.

What if you need to go to a meeting or job in person one day or meet a friend - it’s silly that you have to be home to open the door just because DS won’t take a key.

As others have said, he can use a key safe if he really refuses to take one - he just needs to remember to put it back.

Utter nonsense. That is only when the house is unoccupied.

I actually do this exact thing for the exact same reasons. But our street is very quiet. So I suppose it depends where you live and the configuration of the house and door vs the street/ foot traffic outside your house whether you think its safe enough.
Sometimes i leave a key in a spot in tb3 front garden too if i have to pop out but again noone would see him getting it as there is a hedge and only about 5 people walk past a day.

We are at the stage where my 2 older ones have keys, and so far despite having them for a year they haven’t lost them.
As long as they don’t have a key ring with the address on, a lost key isn’t the end of the world.
Some of their friends don’t have a key but their parents have installed key safes due to the amount of children/comings and goings.
I also leave my door unlocked if I’m home but I don’t have to leave it open for them to gain access.
Given your child’s reluctance to carry a key I would either get a key safe or tell him to dawdle abit so he gets in after the meetings finished.
His reluctance to carry one is a little odd is he generally a little anxious or it something about having a key in particular?

Yanbu tbh, I think if its on the latch its absolutely fine

DS is also refusing to carry a key, as he is afraid of losing it.

then he waits outside until the meeting has finished

It’s a strange idea - giving your kid a key or using a key safe would usually be the first options. What are the chances someone will come along and try your door on the offchance it’s unlocked? That probably has never happened before, why would it start happening now?

Agree

actually id give this problem to your ds to solve, how will he get into the house without you answering the door. Hand the responsibility to him

Do people lock the door when they are in their own house? Really?!? This amazes me! Mine is always unlocked.

DS and DH both think this is way too unsafe and refuse. DS is also refusing to carry a key, as he is afraid of losing it. @ILoveMyGonk

Why is he so anxious about losing a key?
Why is it such a big deal?

I mean, yes, he probably will lose it a few times, most kids do (my DS lost his key twice a year all through high school, ADHD tax 😅)

Make sure the key isn't kept in his wallet or anything else identifying.

What does your DH suggest?

Also it seems by your post that your DH is anxious and passing that anxiety on to ds.
Carrying a key is normal.
Leaving the door unlocked for 15 mins whilst you're in the house is fine.

Refusing and worries about safety seem a bit OTT. Don't enable them, don't pander to them or they'll never build resilience.

Jesus! Just give the young adult a key FFS