To think it's ok to leave the door open for 15 minutes each weekday?

[ILoveMyGonk]

DS started secondary school this year and comes home himself on the bus. I'm at home working at my computer. Generally, when he gets home, he rings the doorbell and I go open the door for him. However, I now have a 15 minute on-camera meeting that exactly coincides with when he gets home, and obviously it gives a terrible impression if I need to leave during the meeting, even though it's only for a minute.

I want to leave the door unlocked, so he can just come in. (It also would need to be open just slightly, the way the lock works.)

DS and DH both think this is way too unsafe and refuse. DS is also refusing to carry a key, as he is afraid of losing it.

AIBU to think it's okay to leave the door open? It's broad daylight, not a terribly crime-ridden area, and only 15 minutes. We even live opposite a primary school, and it's very busy that time of day. I can even see the path leading up to the door from where I'm working, though I'm not sure I could actually get to the door in time to close it if I saw someone concerning approaching.

I have a very anxious ND teenager in S2 and she has a key. I think actually the biggest challenge here is your husband. It's awful that he created this situation by making your child anxious about someone following him home and I am guessing that made everything so much worse.

Personally I wouldn't love leaving a door ajar - we regularly have our house unlocked but live in a culdesac in the suburbs. But even we wouldn't leave the door actually open. I think you need something like a fake plant pot with a key or giving your son a key to the back door or something else as I would be super uncomfortable with this.

This has literally never crossed my mind, I’ve never know it to happen to anyone I know so I’m not going to spend my precious time thinking about it.

Sadly, it has happened to a few people I know. I don't "waste my precious time thinking about it" either. I just lock the door instead.

I also suspect getting the insurance company to pay out for a stolen car would be rather difficult when you have made it easy for someone to steal it.

Well that’s if they could get in my garage to get the car.

Or a real plant pot!!

For me, it's like putting on my seatbelt. No, it's not very likely that I will be in an accident and I could just not bother. But it's not much hassle at all - it's really second nature, TBH - and the consequences of something going wrong are huge. Just because you're in the house doesn't mean you can't be burgled

I really don't understand why some posters find it such a huge hassle to lock a door but perhaps they live in a huge castle and have a moat and gate to deal with or something.

Yes my moat is very irritating lol

actually we often leave it unlocked when we are home as my son is running in and out with his friends from the street. Just easier than them going round the back I suppose. We did have a couple of neighbours have their cars stolen by someone just grabbing the keys from the hall but we solved that issue by having a very old, very crap car

People have had stuff stolen, even when someone in the house.
Insurance companies will seize any excuse not to pay out

This is very simple. Leave the door open.

If your ds and dh aren't happy with this, they can organise one of the other options. A key or a safe.

Push it back to them to decide. Why are they even making this your problem?

Get a key safe. Then all your DS needs to remember is the key safe code.

That's what we have and both DDs come home on their own and let themselves in after ringing the doorbell because they're lazy

Get a key safe. End of.

If it’s that big of an issue get a key code lock for the door. Very popular in sorts of Asia.

Your 11 year old can carry a key.

Surely your son can just have a key? I don’t know why this is so complicated?

Where I live I wouldn't risk leaving the door open, and not a backdoor either; have before stood in back garden hanging washing and seen teenage boys high jumping over elderly neighbours lower placed fences; when they'd not properly shut their garden doors and entered that way so it's a enormous NO from me
Either your son gets himself a key and learns to take responsibility for it
Or
He waits for 15 minutes till you've finished working
Simple!

The answer is obvious and I see many others feel the same...GET A KEYSAFE!!! 🙄
We have had one for ages and our now 16 year old has let himself into the house using it when necessary...you just have to remember to put the key back into the safe! 😊

You can't answer the door because you are busy. So DS either carries a key, or he waits until you can open the door.

(or you could get a key safe?)

My solution to my children constantly 'mislaying' keys ( and in truth, locking myself out) was to buy a cheap digital fingerprint lock. Much cheaper than calling locksmiths out 😁 That was 20 years ago and we are now on our second one. Best thing i ever did. It also has a keypad so you can give someone temporary acces..but the fingerprint bit was great as they didn't have to worry about putting codes in while being watched

We occasionally have our front door unlocked when we are home and know that youngest daughter hasn’t got her keys with her , but we don’t leave the door ajar as it’s a risk our dog would run out .

1. we are in a very quiet area that’s not easily accessible by public transport or on foot so unlikely someone would actually enter on the off chance they could rob us
2. we also have another door leading to the hallway so more secure for dog .

If I were you I’d either get key safe with PIN pad or leave a key in a very secure spot .

My grandson let's himself in via a key safe on the days his parents go to their offices. He's 12

On a long, suburban road with 1930's semis, we have three neighbours who had a stranger walk into their home. One had items quickly stolen 😥. Next door, our neighbour looked from her back garden and saw 2 men in the hall. She ran in the back door, told them to leave (!) and they did, quickly, via the front door, locked but (thankfully) with a key in the lock. The 3rd friend went into the kitchen and a stranger was in there. He said he was delivering leaflets! She told him to get out and he did.
This isn't to alarm anyone, but in each case, the police said to keep the door locked as theft from a house is often opportune. ie. Someone walks past a house and tries the door, 'in case. . '
I think I would say , 'Have a key or wait 15 minutes'.

There are two solutions and no, you are NOT being unreasonable, unless every9one else in tghe hosue who is happy with the door being unlocked will be paying to replace your stuff when it's stolen, cleaning the burglars' crap off the carpets and going to find the pets let out of the house when they left.

1. DS can wear the key on a string/chain/leather bootlace around his neck. It won't get lost and nobody will see it.
2. Do what a London friend does (VERY inner Lahndahn) - wrap the ket in scrunched up loo roll and lob it under the hedge. Don't do it when anyone is watching, obvs, but nobody is going to go picking up used loo roll in someone's garden on the offchance there's something nice inside!