To think it's ok to leave the door open for 15 minutes each weekday?

[ILoveMyGonk]

DS started secondary school this year and comes home himself on the bus. I'm at home working at my computer. Generally, when he gets home, he rings the doorbell and I go open the door for him. However, I now have a 15 minute on-camera meeting that exactly coincides with when he gets home, and obviously it gives a terrible impression if I need to leave during the meeting, even though it's only for a minute.

I want to leave the door unlocked, so he can just come in. (It also would need to be open just slightly, the way the lock works.)

DS and DH both think this is way too unsafe and refuse. DS is also refusing to carry a key, as he is afraid of losing it.

AIBU to think it's okay to leave the door open? It's broad daylight, not a terribly crime-ridden area, and only 15 minutes. We even live opposite a primary school, and it's very busy that time of day. I can even see the path leading up to the door from where I'm working, though I'm not sure I could actually get to the door in time to close it if I saw someone concerning approaching.

I don't agree that it would be really bad to leave a meeting for 30 seconds. Your son can wait at the door quietly for a few minutes until there is an opportune moment to discreetly excuse yourself. You can mention it at the start of the meeting. I am sure no one will bat an eyelid.

You don’t think a 15 year old needs to start taking responsibility for themselves?

Gosh! Wherever do you all live?
I unlock our doors at 7 in the morning to let the dog out and we lock them about 10 before we go to bed 😃
Obviously lock if we go out

Why cant ulyou just order a keysafe and put it up yourself. Why do you needed to discuss it. Just order it. Put it up outside and show DS how to use. Stop constantly talking about it with DH and just get ut done.
your DS has the following options

Take a key with him
Use the key safe
Stand outside

Sorry 12 year olds

Why do you need to wait for dh to get a key safe? Can you not get one yourself?

Where are you getting this from, admittedly I haven't read every Google result but in the ones from the main insurers I can't find any reference to locking yourself into the house every minute you're in

I'm assuming you work in insurance as you say it will be deemed negligent, can you explain why this isnt mentioned anywhere thats easy to find

There must be some dodgy areas. I’ve never locked my door when I’m in and not once has anyone other than family entered. The stats for burglary indicate that 94% are after 6pm.

I think they sound a bit insane!
he’s refusing to carry a key?? He’ll have to wait outside then. Time for him to grow up a tad! I expect after day 2 he would be willing to carry a key 😂

Statistically the odds of you being burgled in those 15 minutes are very very very low. More likely your neighbour would notice and shut the door for you thinking it was a favour!

Your son needs a key. It’s madness he won’t carry a key at his age honestly. Stop opening the door for him. If he’s old enough to go out the door alone, he’s old enough to come in it alone!!! A key box would help but I think he should carry a key.

we are another family who don’t lock door when we are in. That’s bonkers. What are you all thinking will happen?!

What would happen if someone else rang your doorbell during the meeting ?

Ignore it? I ignore mine if I'm doing something I can't easily leave. (If I'm expecting someone, I don't start something I can't leave.)

DS can carry a key or he can wait, or he can pop into the library or a cafe or or a shop or stay at school if he doesn't want to wait on the doorstep.

I would never ever leave my door open but I live in a shit hole area and have even been approached by beggars while locking my front door. I have really dodgy neighbours too who would steal anything that isn't nailed down. Your son needs to start carrying and being responsible for a door key. My child had one from about age 13, I was a single mum and sole breadwinner whose work day ended well after their school day so they got in a couple of hours before me. It is good for their development and sense of responsiblity.

Same. It has never occurred to me to lock myself in the house.
Where on earth do you live to have to do that?

Yes this! If we’re in our doors are unlocked. I do have a barky dog though who’d tell us if someone was on the property.

certainly in your situation op I’d expect ds to carry a key if no one wants the door unlocked.

I have never locked my door if I’m in, I didn’t even realise it was a thing until I met DH.

Rural upbringing though, although it meant no one would have heard me scream

Negligent for sitting in your house with the door unlocked? I don't think so.

I was in the bath one morning and heard a really loud banging noise, grabbed a towel, ran downstairs to find a man trying to force his way into my home through one of the back windows, phoned 999 and police arrived within minutes, he then fought the police! it was terrifying and only about 10 30am . I never ever leave any door or window open but I do live in a shit hole area due to not being well off

I assume because he’s the one thinking OP shouldn’t leave the door open and instead has to interrupt her work to open the door.

On my normal street, on an estate nowhere near a main road there is an alcoholic woman who lives a couple of streets away who lets herself into any house she feels like. She will take anything she likes the look of or demand money from you.

My friend lives on a private road, every door handle was tried at school run time in the afternoon by two men who were caught on all their Ring door cameras and one woman was in, saw it and called the police, they were known to them as burglars and knew they would be back. They waited and arrested them.

On an estate I used to live on all door handles tried and things nicked from the hallways, usually handbags but also a set of keys and they took the car. The response was we live in a nice area and the police said yes, and this is why they travelled here to take your things. The police actually went round door to door trying all the door handles and if it was unlocked they opened the door and shouted hello, police. Told them people had had things taken from their halls so lock your fucking door.

@ILoveMyGonk My sons had one of those retractable key rings sewn into their bag so they could not lose it nor could they leave it in the door. Sometimes their bag had a loop it could be attached to. I used to check it to make sure it was still in good condition.

He can come back later, got to a friends or wait outside for 15 minutes if he won’t carry a key or open an unlocked door! Your work comes first; I would look into a key safe.

For the time being just before your meeting put the key under a flowerpot or something by the door.

I’ve had someone enter my home twice.

Both times they were elderly and had dementia/confusion.
One was at midnight.

Even though there was no real threat it was still scary and I tend to lock my doors now, especially in the evenings.

My postman also used to open my door to put packages in which I used find really inappropriate.

However, if I was OP I’d be happy leaving it unlocked for 15mins for this situation.

I always thought burglaries tended to happen during the day on a weekday when the home was empty, rather than in the evening when everyone is home.

As OP’s DH and DS are resisting her idea but have no solutions (or so it seemed to me when I posted) I thought I’d come up with some - tongue in cheek: note my last two sentences and exclamation marks.

put a key under the mat. then progress to a key safe and then move on to a key in ds wallet

give him the plan and the time line, or sit down and make the plan with him and come up with a time line for doing these things

Most run down inner cities I am afraid. We don't all live in villages or nice middle class suburbs; in fact even my friends who do live in the latter always keep their doors locked as just because the area is ok it does not mean that everyone who is passing through is a fine upstanding member of society. Have you ever been burgled? I have, twice and once was in broad daylight when a man tried to smash his way into my home when I was in the bath. It is traumatising and I never want to go through that again, hence I keep my doors and windows locked.