Page 14 | To think it's ok to leave the door open for 15 minutes each weekday?

BigAnne · 02/12/2025 11:33

@ILoveMyGonk your son refusing to carry a key is the beginning of learned helplessness. Do him and any future partner a favour by teaching him personal responsibility.

SweetnsourNZ · 02/12/2025 13:06

RampantIvy · 02/12/2025 11:24

Why do you think?
We don't all have houses where the front door is in our line of sight most of the day.

Are you really this naive?

Even low crime rate areas have some level of crime - usually stealing car keys. Living rurally with poor public transport means that it would massively inconvenience me if someone stole my car.

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I haven't lived in England for since 1971. Don't remember having to lock ourselves in the house during the day back then. Things must of really changed I have all my windows and doors open all the time here atm as it's hot but do lock up at night. I know there are some rough areas but it sounds like it's bad everywhere there now.

Lastfroginthebox · 02/12/2025 13:20

It depends where exactly you live. There's a big difference between an isolated village, a big housing estate, inner cities etc. Whether things have changed over the years, I don't know, but there are always burglaries and it's wise to lock your door. There's a saying that there are people who lock their doors and people who haven't been burgled yet.

Lastfroginthebox · 02/12/2025 13:21

SweetnsourNZ · 02/12/2025 13:06

I haven't lived in England for since 1971. Don't remember having to lock ourselves in the house during the day back then. Things must of really changed I have all my windows and doors open all the time here atm as it's hot but do lock up at night. I know there are some rough areas but it sounds like it's bad everywhere there now.

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P S. It's not bad everywhere now. And nostalgia is a thing.

RampantIvy · 02/12/2025 14:09

SweetnsourNZ · 02/12/2025 13:06

I haven't lived in England for since 1971. Don't remember having to lock ourselves in the house during the day back then. Things must of really changed I have all my windows and doors open all the time here atm as it's hot but do lock up at night. I know there are some rough areas but it sounds like it's bad everywhere there now.

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I live in a "naice area" village with a low crime rate, yet it isn't a zero crime rate. The most common crime here is breaking into people's houses to steal car keys.

Leaving doors unlocked is just not sensible these days.

BadgernTheGarden · 02/12/2025 14:18

Leave a key on a string through the letter box with a loop around the inside handle or something for that few minutes, he pulls the key to the outside, lets himself in, detaches the key and puts it in a safe place. Not 100% safe but really not bad for a few minutes and better than having the door open.

mashandgravy · 02/12/2025 14:20

Either I'm missing something or I'm totally out of touch with how other people live, but why on Earth would it be a problem to leave the door open while you're in the house??

BadgernTheGarden · 02/12/2025 14:24

SweetnsourNZ · 02/12/2025 13:06

I haven't lived in England for since 1971. Don't remember having to lock ourselves in the house during the day back then. Things must of really changed I have all my windows and doors open all the time here atm as it's hot but do lock up at night. I know there are some rough areas but it sounds like it's bad everywhere there now.

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I always locked the doors in the 70s too. And we were in a pretty safe area it's just being careful. You lock up at night it must be a terrible area! Or is it just being careful?

I have also accidentally left the French doors wide open all night by accident. Left my car door and boot wide open all night in the front garden by mistake and absolutely nothing happened.

Talipesmum · 02/12/2025 14:53

mashandgravy · 02/12/2025 14:20

Either I'm missing something or I'm totally out of touch with how other people live, but why on Earth would it be a problem to leave the door open while you're in the house??

There are loads of answers to this question on the thread. But here’s one more:

If you live in a house where there isn’t much of a front garden, door practically opening onto the street. People walking by all the time.
And if your area is a bit rough, burglaries / car thefts etc.
And if you being “in the house” means working eg two storeys up in the loft bedroom / office, looking out over the back of the house and you can’t hear anyone even knocking at the door, never mind just letting themselves in. (Can hear the doorbell but that’s it)
Or if you’ve had delivery people opening the door to leave a package inside rather than ringing the bell (it happens) and you don’t like that.
Or simply if your front door is one of the very common types that locks every time it closes by default, rather than one you have to lock on purpose.

Then you might well think it fairly sensible to lock the door.

However, if you’re in a nice friendly area with a decent size front garden, it’s only your nice neighbours walking past, and being in the house means moving about on the ground floor where you can see and hear the front door well enough - well, that’s fine isn’t it.

RampantIvy · 02/12/2025 15:05

Talipesmum · 02/12/2025 14:53

There are loads of answers to this question on the thread. But here’s one more:

If you live in a house where there isn’t much of a front garden, door practically opening onto the street. People walking by all the time.
And if your area is a bit rough, burglaries / car thefts etc.
And if you being “in the house” means working eg two storeys up in the loft bedroom / office, looking out over the back of the house and you can’t hear anyone even knocking at the door, never mind just letting themselves in. (Can hear the doorbell but that’s it)
Or if you’ve had delivery people opening the door to leave a package inside rather than ringing the bell (it happens) and you don’t like that.
Or simply if your front door is one of the very common types that locks every time it closes by default, rather than one you have to lock on purpose.

Then you might well think it fairly sensible to lock the door.

However, if you’re in a nice friendly area with a decent size front garden, it’s only your nice neighbours walking past, and being in the house means moving about on the ground floor where you can see and hear the front door well enough - well, that’s fine isn’t it.

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And because I don't live in a one room hut.

SpryLilacSnake · 02/12/2025 15:14

Changing locks takes around 5-10 minutes and the new barrels are around £10 and can be bought online. Measure up and buy a new lock (Google how to do it) for your door then you have one ready to go if the key is lost (which it's very unlikely to be if you have it attached inside his bag). Get one with a few keys - cheaper than having them cut afterwards.

Obviously this is massive overkill, I'd just leave the door ajar for 15 minutes or not stress if a key was lost but seems like this option alleviates all anxieties in your house.

Lastfroginthebox · 02/12/2025 16:50

mashandgravy · 02/12/2025 14:20

Either I'm missing something or I'm totally out of touch with how other people live, but why on Earth would it be a problem to leave the door open while you're in the house??

Because if you're busy in another room, you might get burgled. A friend of mine had her handbag stolen while she was in the house.

Lastfroginthebox · 02/12/2025 16:53

Talipesmum · 02/12/2025 14:53

There are loads of answers to this question on the thread. But here’s one more:

If you live in a house where there isn’t much of a front garden, door practically opening onto the street. People walking by all the time.
And if your area is a bit rough, burglaries / car thefts etc.
And if you being “in the house” means working eg two storeys up in the loft bedroom / office, looking out over the back of the house and you can’t hear anyone even knocking at the door, never mind just letting themselves in. (Can hear the doorbell but that’s it)
Or if you’ve had delivery people opening the door to leave a package inside rather than ringing the bell (it happens) and you don’t like that.
Or simply if your front door is one of the very common types that locks every time it closes by default, rather than one you have to lock on purpose.

Then you might well think it fairly sensible to lock the door.

However, if you’re in a nice friendly area with a decent size front garden, it’s only your nice neighbours walking past, and being in the house means moving about on the ground floor where you can see and hear the front door well enough - well, that’s fine isn’t it.

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Burglars like 'nice' areas because there's often lots of nice stuff to steal. It's quite easy to look like a genuine delivery person etc so your nice neighbours wouldn't be suspicious either.

eastegg · 02/12/2025 17:49

Lastfroginthebox · 02/12/2025 16:53

Burglars like 'nice' areas because there's often lots of nice stuff to steal. It's quite easy to look like a genuine delivery person etc so your nice neighbours wouldn't be suspicious either.

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Going off subject a bit, but this is another reason why delivery workers shouldn’t be opening people’s front doors to leave parcels (as per a few threads on here) as it normalises it and neighbours might not question a burglar. I had one skulking around in the small space between my front window and wall the other day, instead of knocking on my door. I told him off.

Spidey66 · 02/12/2025 17:53

Would it be closed but unlocked? If so i think that’s ok.

otherwise what about one of those key rings he can hook onto the belt loop of his trousers?

HonoriaBulstrode · 02/12/2025 19:01

How long ago was this if they nicked a video recorder? Must be 30 years ago?!

You think opportunist thieves just all gave up when video recorders went out?! Not interested in looking for cash, car keys, or any other valuables that happen to be to hand?

Rituelec · 02/12/2025 22:42

EuroTour · 30/11/2025 16:29

Whilst you're in the house? Absolutely fine. We never lock the doors until we go to bed.

Same.

I was going to say its clear who lives in the countryside. We always leave open. Even if out 🫢

llizzie · 03/12/2025 00:05

ILoveMyGonk · 30/11/2025 16:19

DS started secondary school this year and comes home himself on the bus. I'm at home working at my computer. Generally, when he gets home, he rings the doorbell and I go open the door for him. However, I now have a 15 minute on-camera meeting that exactly coincides with when he gets home, and obviously it gives a terrible impression if I need to leave during the meeting, even though it's only for a minute.

I want to leave the door unlocked, so he can just come in. (It also would need to be open just slightly, the way the lock works.)

DS and DH both think this is way too unsafe and refuse. DS is also refusing to carry a key, as he is afraid of losing it.

AIBU to think it's okay to leave the door open? It's broad daylight, not a terribly crime-ridden area, and only 15 minutes. We even live opposite a primary school, and it's very busy that time of day. I can even see the path leading up to the door from where I'm working, though I'm not sure I could actually get to the door in time to close it if I saw someone concerning approaching.

Have you considered having the lock changed and have a handle which can be opened either side? I have one of those and it works very well. It is just a matter of unlocking the door when you expect someone to call. They can then open the door as they would an interior door.

Bournetilly · 03/12/2025 04:16

YANBU.

He needs a key, choose a specific pocket in his blazer or bag with him, where the key always stays, then he won’t lose it. Your DH has caused him to be anxious about this.

If DS and DH are unhappy with all your suggestions then I would have him wait outside until the meeting finishes. It’s only 10 mins.

My door also auto locks when it’s shut but I am able to disable this with a switch next to the hinge.

AnneButNotHathaway · 03/12/2025 11:14

I wouldn't say it's safe for the area I live at, but everyone is different. I think there is no "one size fit all" kind of answer. Getting a keysafe sounds like a good idea.

DrCoconut · 03/12/2025 12:18

My DS has his key safety pinned into his blazer inside pocket so it can't fall out. It's on one of the spiral keyrings so he can just stretch it out rather than unpin it. I'd never leave the door unlocked. Too high risk and your insurance would be invalidated if the worst happened.

RampantIvy · 03/12/2025 13:11

I would love to know where these zero crime rate areas are.

Even the farmers round here aren't immune to having the odd visit by burglars.

FastTurtle · 03/12/2025 13:19

RampantIvy · 03/12/2025 13:11

I would love to know where these zero crime rate areas are.

Even the farmers round here aren't immune to having the odd visit by burglars.

I live in a low/mid crime area but my thought process is all about the odds of my house being broken into during those 15 minutes. I’d think very low and then move on with life. I used to have OCD so now have good coping mechanisms for dealing with such scenarios.

RampantIvy · 03/12/2025 13:59

FastTurtle · 03/12/2025 13:19

I live in a low/mid crime area but my thought process is all about the odds of my house being broken into during those 15 minutes. I’d think very low and then move on with life. I used to have OCD so now have good coping mechanisms for dealing with such scenarios.

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So, if someone came into your house and stole your car keys you would just shrug your shoulders?

It would massively inconvenience me if that happened as we have poor public transport.

HamptonPlace · 03/12/2025 15:09

definitely think this issue is with your DH (!!!), obvs not full story we've been able to hear, but following a child home risk meaning replacing the locks?! if someone wants to get in, they'll get in, if they're intending something even more nefarious, the key would be even less of an issue. A key just inherently slows down entry...