To think it's ok to leave the door open for 15 minutes each weekday?

[ILoveMyGonk]

DS started secondary school this year and comes home himself on the bus. I'm at home working at my computer. Generally, when he gets home, he rings the doorbell and I go open the door for him. However, I now have a 15 minute on-camera meeting that exactly coincides with when he gets home, and obviously it gives a terrible impression if I need to leave during the meeting, even though it's only for a minute.

I want to leave the door unlocked, so he can just come in. (It also would need to be open just slightly, the way the lock works.)

DS and DH both think this is way too unsafe and refuse. DS is also refusing to carry a key, as he is afraid of losing it.

AIBU to think it's okay to leave the door open? It's broad daylight, not a terribly crime-ridden area, and only 15 minutes. We even live opposite a primary school, and it's very busy that time of day. I can even see the path leading up to the door from where I'm working, though I'm not sure I could actually get to the door in time to close it if I saw someone concerning approaching.

Our door is always open when we are in. I suppose it depends where you live, but you say it isn't a crime ridden area.

You could get a key box. We dont carry keys with us normally. We just use the key box when we need to.

Key safe or securely clip the key to his bag. Bit strange he won't carry a key.

You are home? Am I missing something? I don't lock the doors when I am home in the house? Neither do my parents or my sister... Is this something I don't understand because I live in sunny North Wales and not the middle of Birmingham or something? Get a wall key safe and he can get his own key out maybe? Put the key on a string around his neck?

Your husband is a headcase.
My friends husband is the same.
Has totally passed his hype vigilance on to anxious children.
So messed up.
I'm security conscious but he sounds batshit.

I wouldn't give a shit about the door being open - while you were at home - for 15 minutes, and I speak as someone who has lived in big cities for the last 25 years.

But if there's a good reason for your DH to be uneasy about it, your son needs to start being a bit more mature and take responsibility for a key. Get a long key-chain / strap that he can clip inside his school bag or something like that - I'm assuming his bag has an inside pocket, so clip it to the zip.

Part of Y6 preparation for secondary school is starting to have a key and learning to keep it safe. Your DS has done almost a whole term at secondary and is still not carrying a key - so it’s probably time he did / learnt.

It’s not like he’d be locked out if he forgot his key - you’re in at home! But also - I don’t think I ever have my door locked when I’m in the house. It wouldn’t occur to me to have a problem with leaving it unlocked, whilst I’m in, for 15 mins.

It feels like there are two total non-problems here 🥴

Our front door is never locked if someone is at home, so I can't see the problem.

I never leave my door open (we had someone walk in a through our back door at tea time as a teenager). He needs to carry a key. Put on one of those stretchy things attached to his bag. If he loses it, not the end of the world. He'll have to learn at some point.

I think you both need to thrust some responsibility upon DS. Get him a carabiner clip or similar. If he forgets it or loses it then he can wait outside until your meeting is done. And yes, it would need to be replaced ASAP if lost, but tell your DH to stop panicking DS with stories of strangers following him which are very very unlikely.

Lots of front doors always need a key to open them - I don’t go inside and lock the door behind me. I go inside and close the door, and the only way to open it from the outside is with a key.

It’s really not a problem, we just take keys with us when we leave the house or leave it on the latch (ie twist a knob inside to stop the lock from closing. This means the door can just swing open, so we just use it if we’re taking the bins out or working in front garden or something).

My door locks automatically when it closes-surely you can understand this?!

DS is also refusing to carry a key, as he is afraid of losing it.

He needs to get a grip. Surely he doesn't lose his phone/school bag on a daily basis!

Get a key safe if he really can't handle this though.

First I've heard of your door specifically but now you've mentioned it... yes, yes, I think I understand🙄
Obviously I'm talking about those who choose to lock their doors and have to actually physically do it...

He’s 11. He doesn’t get to refuse to carry a key. Get him one of the clips people have mentioned to help, if he is worried about losing it. How is he ever going to learn? Starting secondary school is the usual time to start taking these small responsibilities. Does he have a phone? Has he ever lost it? If not, tell him to take as much care of the key as the phone, job done.

Yes where I live. I saw someone walk into my neighbours house assuming it was legit. They walked out with two expensive items.

Son needs a clip on key

Honestly it depends where you live. I haven't locked my front door in years. Not even when I've been on holiday for a week as my neighbour feed my cats. It would feel like living in a prison if I was to lock myself inside. What happens if there's is a fire? I do live in a wee village though, where everyone knows each other and even the postman opens the door and places my post on my side table. I suppose if you live in the city it would be different. Why can't your daughter get her own key?

For goodness sake - work it out !!! give him the responsibility of keeping the key safe himself- why are you coming onto MN to ask such a trivial question - get a grip

I never think of locking my door during the day if I’m home. However I do live in a very small town and have 2 dogs, one of whom barks at the slightest noise.

Digital lock?
At what point does DS take responsibility for a key and himself? If not now, when....

And it's horrifying to hear of some people's crime levels. In my old village the postie told you off for locking the door when you went out, because how else were they to leave packages?

Your DS needs to be reassured that a key on a carabiner chain in his backpack is both safe and entirely appropriate. And your DH needs to stop winding him up about worst case scenarios.

Your son could attach the house key to his school lanyard and ID card or attach in his school bag. My son is in year 7 and manages this well

My eldest has a key on a long string tied to the inside of her bag for emergencies.

I've never heard anything so pathetic in my life.

Seriously, OP, this is beyond daft.

Securely attach a key to the inside of his bag and get in with it.. Kids his age will be coming home from school, letting themselves in and looking after themselves until parents get home from work.

I agree. Doors are locked and unlocked quite easily these days. I always lock my front door when I'm home alone People are always naive about these things until they're burgled. .

I have an alarm system and it allows you to put the alarm on while you are pottering about at home during the day. I never use the facility, but I doubt that would be a thing if the concept of someone intruding into your home while you are in during the day was completely out of the question.

I don't understand why he can't carry a key, at what age will he accept carrying a key? If hes bothered he'll lose it, have it attached to a chain inside his school bag, it'll be impossible to lose and he doesnt have to worry about forgetting his key.