To be pissed off DH has gone for a nap?

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Today our 2.5 old woke at 530. Got up with him, did breakfast and all of that. DH up at 7, ds1 woke as well. I went back to bed and I slept until 9 (had a really bad night) then each of us took the kids to different activities only DH didn’t end up going so ds1 just watched TV all morning. Then DH took them to the recycling centre with him. It took about forty minutes. Then I’m running round like a blue arsed fly getting lunch and everything, got ds2 down for his nap and now DH is asleep.

AIBU to be let down? I’m taking them to a party later then tomorrow they have two parties so he’s going to have loads of time to himself this weekend.

Nope not all. Hence the question mark. I was expecting op to come back with an explanation of if or when she may get some time to herself at a different time. But so far she hasn’t answered my question.

It all seems a bit of a drama about very little. 🤷‍♀️

I didn’t see sorry. I don’t.

Yes it does. Sorry,

To be honest the thread has made me feel really shit and I wasn’t feeling very good as it was. OK, I’m being unreasonable but all the criticisms about my parenting, all the name calling and then when I agree OK, I’m UR I get told how childish I am. So I feel I can’t win. I don’t have to win of course and I’ll just hide the thread, I don’t care whether it’s dramatic or not, it really had made me feel like complete shit.

I get no time to myself. I get up with the kids, I generally take them to parties etc, I wanted them, I’m happy to, but I could have just done with some downtime today. And before anyone says I know that’s my fucking fault too!

He's a selfish loser OP.
Of course the load should be shared.
Life with children that have lazy selfish fathers is always hard.
Stop doing anything for him like laundry, cooking and shopping.

Your husband is being a shit and unsupportive partner and parent.

You said he didn’t take your child to their activity, why?

You said he wouldn’t take them to a party, why?

He is 50% responsible for the creation and care of these two children so why haven’t you made it clear to him that it’s unacceptable that he isn’t pulling his weight?

Your issue is that he knows he can get away with being a shit dad and husband and there will be no consequence. Stop being a martyr and a victim and start communicating that changes have to be made as you’re not willing to live like this anymore.

I'm quite surprised your DH didn't want to take his children to a party!
A friend of mine always complained DH hogged the children on these occasions as he had droves of mums cooing over him for being such a good dad 😂

Not all kids can be trained to get up at a certain time. My 3 year old gets up at 5am every morning and believe me I've tried everything to push that to 6. No matter what I do he's up at 5. Some kids are just early risers

Yeah this isn't helpful FFS. Tit for tat like children is a great way to end up divorced and the OP has given zero indication she wants that.

You’re choosing to do the parties though, parties are optional.

I don't think this is fair. There could be lots of reasons he doesn't want to take the kids to parties. One of my friends never takes hers and gets her husband to do it all because she finds them awkward while he doesn't mind...does that make her a crap mother? I don't think so. We can all play to our strengths.

Why didn’t he go to the activity this morning?

your dh is being a dick, but potentially not purposefully. Tell him you don’t feel it’s fair / appreciated / whatever and have a discussion about it.

weekends was a lie in each at that age for me and dh and equal opportunity for napping.

also dh does all the parties as I can’t. I’m a weirdo and can’t cope with them. So it’s all on him. He’s been just fine and also does / did the school runs.

OP I'm really sorry if this thread has made you feel like shit or like you're a bad parent. Of course you're not and I'm sure no one thinks so. All people have suggested is that, on the days when you are exhausted, you cut yourself some slack and let some things slide. Your kids will be fine.

It is important that you can get some down time and time to yourself and if you aren't getting that, you should have a serious talk with your husband about how to fix this. Parenting young children is hard and it is very easy for resentment to build. Just remember you are supposed to be on the same side. It doesn't help to keep score and hold onto petty grievances. Talk it out and see how you can get yourself some more time.

You only work part-time,
You had a lie-in this morning,
He took them with him to run an errand

I am sorry but you ARE unreasonable.

I’m running round like a blue arsed fly getting lunch and everything
that's a bit dramatic. Can't you use a baby gate if it's that much of an issue to have the toddler in the same room

I’m taking them to a party later
So basically you are chatting with other mums while having a coffee when the kids are running around doing whatever activity the party is about?
It's not the most exciting day, but come on, it's not "work" and it's free entertainment for your child 😂

It's not ideal to try to fight against your husband and try to score points. You are both tired, you both have the kids, he works more and you do more chores because you are only part-time. It doesn't sound so uneven at all

Well yes this is completely fine if the parent who doesn’t want to take the kids to parties is pulling their weight else where but this OPs husband clearly isn’t.

I get no time to myself

that's being a parent. Find whatever hobby you want to do, and ask your husband to be available one evening, or 2 hours Saturday morning (or whenever) so you can go to yoga class or go for a run. That kind of things.

If you want time, plan it.

We don't know that. He took a nap, so did the OP. I don't think not taking the child to their activity on a morning when everyone was tired is a big deal, I've done it myself.

Unless the OP is the party entertainer, what's wrong with 3 parties?

When you have young kids, parties are perfect, free entertainment for the kids and you have some time to sit down and have a coffee.

There are never too many parties for Pre-school and primary school kids 😂

Do you take both DC to the party?

What does DH do when you are out?

Tomorrow before (or after) the party can you go out on your own and leave DH with DC, or tell him to take them to the park?

I wouldn't be fussed by the nap I would be by the lack of support from him. I'd need be having a chat with him and the motherhood load and how you are struggling. Communication with each other makes a massive difference. If he didn't do the parties but was doing something else that was of benefit to the family then I wouldn't be bothered. I know I've done a weekend of parties before but my DH has done things that benefit us all like fixing something broken in the house or cleaning etc that a) I don't want to do and B) he actually does better than me.

He can take them to parties, yes he can.

Dh didn’t do many parties when ours were very little. Then I got sick (cancer) and wasn’t well enough to take them. Dh learned very quickly that he was perfectly capable of taking them to parties. He does about half of them now, has gotten to know the mums AND the dads who do the parties.

He is just as capable as you are at making small talk with other parents he doesn’t really want to be stuck chatting to. Or he can have a coffee and stare at his phone for 2 hours.

When DC was little and parents also attended parties, there were always some dads there. An adult having a penis does not stop them taking DC to parties

So what if you know the mums??? The only way for your DH to get to know other parents is by taking your DC to activities and parties. Not sure why you’re bothered what others think if you’re not there, DH can tell them you’re having a rest!

Let's be honest his parenting is somewhat lacking like a lot of men on here.