How old are your DC and how's your quality of life?

[CuriousKit]

I am in the thick of it with 1 and 4 yo DC. They are little and baby is still breastfeeding not sleeping through the night. 4 yo is good and is becoming more independent now. They bring me a lot of joy but I think I feel constantly knackered especially throwing in getting back to work, a qualification I am doing from work and chores.
DH is there, he helps but I think it's just natural to feel individually tired and sleep deprived. How's your lives and when does it gets easier.
I dream about doing things like taking them both to movies on rainy day, taking them to holidays abroad and actually enjoying them. Times when they can have conversations with me and we all can have good times together.

We have our first family holiday booked for Christmas in 2 weeks and looking forward to getting some sunshine and not having to do chores.

17 & 15 both girls and wonderful quality of life. There’s just the 3 of us and there’s no where in the world I’d rather be that when we’re all chatting.
stages - I found 12 and under easy for both of them. One of them was very difficult at 13/14 (definitely the hardest two years of my life) but is now an absolute delight.

I’m right there with you 🤣 3.5 yo and 7 month old. It’s tough! Breastfeeding, jealousy, sleepless nights and exhausted to my honest. Starting to think about getting back into work and I just want to find a nice big rock to crawl under!

Hopefully someone will be along shortly to tell us both when it gets easier 🙏

I took them to Christmas market and it was fun, both of them loved the trip and churros :)

Hoping to read more responses

DD 17 on Xmas eve.

We have a fantastic life. Theatre, cinemas, lunches out. Have such a laugh, our gang of 3 ❤️

My two are 19 and 21 and it's great. We go out for meals/drinks and they can now give me lifts when I don't want to get the bus!

They were both always good kids although the youngest has always been more headstrong. We didn't have any awful teene

27, 26, 21 yo at uni and other two living very full lives. I had them very young so only 45 myself so life is brilliant. I worked hard and have a very decent job so have disposable income. I travel loads, it's my greatest passion in life after the children of course!
They were all very easy children, I guess the girl at 13-17 was the hardest with the attitude!
And now always worrying if they're safe what with them all living away/ driving etc!!

My two are 19 and 21 and it's great. We go out for meals/drinks and they can now give me lifts when I don't want to get the bus!

They were both always good kids although the youngest has always been more headstrong. We didn't have any awful teenage years like I hear on here (thankfully) and they were relatively easy when they were little although maybe I have my rose tinted glasses on!

Oh, and I'm 48 so life is good as we can be out all the time with nobody to think about!

It’s coming OP I promise. I absolutely hated the stage you are at now, it was relentless, tiring and thankless. I think from about the time the youngest is 3 it starts easing up, and from 5 it’s enjoyable (although not a cliff edge, lots of enjoyable times before that age but I would say that’s around the time the fun outstrips the work!)

Mine are teens now and still enjoying, others will say wait till the awful teen days but I love them. Conversations, shared interests, help around the house. Days out to the cinema like you say. Far outweighs a few moody strop now and again.

3 DC, ages 7, 3, and 18 months, so I’m ALMOST out of the infant stages.

Life is very busy and I wish I didn’t have to work full-time so that I could enjoy my family more. Weekdays are very rushed, and weekends are spent catching up on chores. But I love it, and wouldn’t change it for the world. DH is very present and an excellent dad, so that makes things much easier. He’s downstairs with them all right now while I’m up in bed trying to have a nap (but I got distracted with Mumsnet!).

I think it will be much easier once my youngest is over the age of 3. I took the older two out alone last night, and couldn’t believe how easy it was. I ate my meal in peace, I could chat to people, my kids ran upstairs and played and didn’t emerge until it was time to leave. I didn’t have to intervene with choking-hazards, low-lying glass objects, or change any nappies… it gave me a vision for where my life will be in 2 years’ time!

Anecdotally, just around my friend’s and myself , the teenage years will depend entirely on ND/NT. An easy NT teenager will be your easiest stage, a ND teenager (especially with a PDA profile) your hardest. That’s my own experience, I don’t know if it’s true at all population level.

Mine are 10 and 14. Absolutely lovely so easy compared to the younger years. Shopping, nights away, films, it’s really nice. But I miss when they were little too so it’s bittersweet.

5 and nearly 3 year old here. I feel like I'm finally emerging from the trenches... Not quite there but getting there. Dc2 has only just started sleeping though a couple of months ago and I'm weaning breastfeeding slowly, can't wait to stop. Debated a 3rd child for a bit but now I know I'm done. I don't ever want to go back to sleepless nights, teething and baby/toddler illness ever again

Decades ago, ours were 1 and 4. I always felt blessed not to have had to do industrial infant care. They also got on. They were dreadful sleepers but I didn't go back to work until the youngest was 5.

The halcyon years were 6 to 12. Independent enough to get in and out of the car, do thwir own teeth, have a conversation, sit quietly, etc.

Ours were broadly fine until about 14. DS was stroppy, argumentative and otherwise incommunicative. DD developed anxiety and depression at 15, witheld food and self harmed. There was no NHS support WHATSOEVER. At 17 she was diagnosed ADHD and it was a gamechanger.

Both a bit difficult into theor early 20s but went to Oxbridge and flew academically throughout.

They became their original selves at 23/4 frontal cortex and became verynclose again around that time.

27 and 31 now. Grounded, successful, great.

Yes. Mine are 17 and 13, both diagnosed ND. I thought the early years were hard when I was in them, but some days I’m desperate to go back to what was retrospectively a comparatively easy time. I’m in burnout, my physical health has been hugely impacted, and we live in survival mode as a family.

Mine are 8, 6 and almost 5. I think we're in the sweet spot - things have become significantly easier over the past year. For our family very much since they all learnt to swim, ride a bike, play cards etc. if all feels so much more chilled. (Though the fact that they all dress themselves might be the real gamechanger). They are still quite wild though but enjoyable.

I loved the little one years but they were definitely a lot more tiring. It gets a lot easier when the youngest gets to 4 and they will sit quietly watching something or playing on their own in bed in the morning so you can get the extra sleep. by 4 you can take them out to eat (within reason), cinema, swimming, walks all sorts of things which won’t require military level planning anymore.
Mine are teenagers now and I just went for a lovely run with teen DD this morning in the rain chatting about things. It’s was lovely.

Baby stage I was constantly knackered (3DC).

School ages was a round of clubs, family visits, activities, homework and parties - always something on.

Young adults: lovely to see them go off and make their own way. Looking forward to mine and DH time too (last one off to uni soon).

There are probably still posts from me on here from when I was there with my dc. Worked ft in demanding job and was constantly on the verge of tears or walking out. Dc 2 was hard for the first 6 years.

They're mid teens now and it's a doddle. They've been trained to help around the house and are decent humans.

Hang in there!

We have 6 year old twins, a 3 year old and a 1 year old. We are also very much in the thick of it. I've noticed more recently with the twins especially that the more self sufficient they become (and I mean in terms of things like dressing themselves and not needing supervision at all times in case they decide to stick their fingers in the plug sockets) that it is becoming a bit easier and gives me some hope for the future when they are all a little older and things aren't as wild and full on. Obviously we still have the 3 and 1 year old but we see light at the end of the tunnel 😂 Not wishing their childhood away as these ages are so very adorable and lovely but at the same time...my goodness 🫠

We have just the one 1 year old. We are lucky that DH's job is generally flexible and WFH and I am a SAHM, so whilst we have the odd tough day or night (Hello Slap cheek, COVID and Hand Foot and Mouth all one week after another) I do have a lot of support at home.

We don't have any family support at all though, but we are a really strong little unit. We are also fortunate enough to be able to have cleaners and a couple mornings at nursery, so we can have some couple time.

I really feel for people who aren't able to get a break at all. And it is a key reason for why we are hesitating to have a second.

@CuriousKit when they are 16/17 and text you from Brixton at 1am that they are waiting for the night bus and have 1% battery, you will wish yourself back to the nights when they screamed from midnight to 5am and were behind cot bars and you knew they were safe.

ds25 and ds20 here. Ds1 is at home whilst ds2 is at uni. We go out for meals, drinks and they are now my taxi! I am 44 so had them young. Have a decent job so have disposable income and am able to travel several times year.

Having a dp who is hands on and does their fair share of ironing, cooking, cleaning and shopping makes all the difference! I started uni when ds1 was 2 months old and went back to work when ds2 was 6 months. It was hard but worth it.

Every stage has their difficulties. But it's how you handle them that makes the difference.