Work Raffle - Colleague claims I’ve damaged their feel motivation

[WorkRaffle]

Last year I was gifted a candle in secret Santa. Great, I love candles and wax melts.

However, for reasons related to environmental concerns and the composition of the candle (the wax used), I won’t use it.

Absolutely fine. Instead of chucking it in the bin, I just kept onto it and waited for this year’s raffle to come by as I figured it would be a good choice. All raffle proceeds go to charity and people only buy a ticket because it’s for charity rather than because they want something nice. So I gave my candle to the raffle.

Anyway, work colleague discovered I had submitted the candle to the raffle! She’s really angry and brought it up yesterday in our weekly catch-up.

I was pretty thrown. Apparently my gifting the candle to the raffle has impacted the colleagues motivation as they don’t feel valued!

AIBU to think the person is being completely ridiculous and unreasonable to have bought it up - it’s a candle from Boots, not their life’s work!!!

That’s rude and not kind. Why not just give it to a charity shop. Or sent it into school as a tombola donation. Or put it on your local Facebook free site. There were so many other options you could have chosen to do.

You don’t think posting about colleagues on SM in a derogatory fashion and in a very identifiable way is grounds for a complaint. It’s beyond misconduct and unprofessional.

At the end of the day you gave back something she gave you. You hurt her feelings. I'd feel bad if it was me but instead you've continued to say other unkind things about her character on here on a forum where stories are widely used in articles online and easily identified. It says a lot about you to be honest.

Can’t you see that both things can be true. Your colleague is being over dramatic but you were also pretty tactless! You should have regifted elsewhere.

Ah, I hadn't thought of that! I was just talking about the regifting.

Not so relevant, you're right but the huge majority of that goes on animal feed for livestock, not candles.

you speak from experience....

Don't start with the ND.

And a couple of people have asked that.

Bloody ridiculous being ND means you are stupid or have no sense of tact.

Sick of the goddamn falsehoods about being ND.

I'd know not to put a sodding candle in from the year before! And yes I very much understand the reason why. 😏

I wouldn't have regifted the candle in a way that the giver could see it being regifted.

On the other hand OP, you're right about that being a ridiculous excuse for not getting work done!

To the people who say the colleagues was being ridiculous do you not see how the situation it came about?
The OP was trying to pull her up on her work, she is not her manager, would you accept this from another colleague?

OP is clearly an arsy person to work with so when OP was having a go she told her straight why she hadn't done much work and turned it back on her.

She didn't bring it up first, she was retaliating against her annoying co worker.

YANBU. It's a chuffing candle! 😂 I can't even remember what I bought my 2 BFFs for Christmas last year, and I wouldn't notice if they 'gifted' it back to me!

If you had bought a close friend or family member a special, hard to get, expensive item, and then you saw they had it for sale on ebay shortly after, (or they gave it away, or sold it to someone else they know,) you would have a right to be peeved. Even then though, not much you can do as it's theirs to give.

Reminds me of a time I bought my DH's cousin's daughter a lovely gift/collectible from Disney, when we went to Euro Disney. Cost around 75 euros (so about £60 at the time, some 10 years ago.) She was 19, and a huge Disney fan. Her room was full of it. About 6 months after I gave it to her, I discovered she had given it to a friend's 3 year old daughter, as she took a shine to it, and 'she felt bad taking it off her.'

Last time I got her anything that was worth more than a tenner!😬

I was genuinely really annoyed and offended. (I know, I'm precious! And it was hers to give, but still.............!)

It's ridiculous to use that as a reason for not being productive at work.

But you shouldn't have put it in the raffle at work when someone from work gave it to you. That's just rude. Regift if you want, but not so the person who gave it to you can see.

I would really like to hear this story...!

I hope this is completely made up it is because otherwise, you sound like a snobby knob.

The comments you’re dropping don’t make you sound very pleasant- know why her LM gave her up so easily, doesn’t socialise with the group, other colleagues wouldn’t be impressed with her. You don’t sound very professional, glad you’re not my LM. Agree with @rainbowstardrops

This thread has really suprised me - I don't think you've been unreasonable at all OP! Yes I can see it's gone down badly but surely everyone knows secret santa gifts are a gamble and not deep?!

Just realised you are the TL! Hahaha she can’t use that as an excuse to not do her job properly 😂
Can you get another manager to ‘manage’ her productivity? really though this is two separate issues. Most people think what you did was out of order (I don’t) ok not the end of the world though is it? So what if you’re stuck up? (Again, I disagree) but you’re allowed to think things are shit. The issue here is - can a person use something like this as an excuse not to do her job properly - of course she can’t! Clear it with HR and get her on a support plan or verbal warning if she doesn’t start working properly! Everyone feels sorry for her now but imagine they discovered that you work for the council or doctors surgery or something and the reason they have to spend 30 minutes queuing to get through on the phone is because Sandra is upset about a fucking candle!

I;d like to hear your colleagues' opinions about you because even on this board, and only going by what has come out of your own mouth, most posters seem to be getting the measure of you.

How rude, precious and self-important of you!
That cannot be real 😂😂
No one is that rude. And blind to their rudeness they start a thread about it

You "love" candles, someone makes an effort to buy something you love, but you won't use it because it's not good enough for you. Fair enough. Precious but fair enough.

You bring back to the place where you got it, telling everyone that it's not good enough for you but it's ok for them, and knowing the person who gave you the candle will see you didn't want her gift 😂😂

It's not even cheeky, it's rude.
And so lazy, that you couldn't be bothered to give another gift

This thread should go in classics, So rude 😂😂

She’s very religious.

I guess not quite such a long story…

Everybody's told you why they thought it was a bit shit and your response is I don't know people think it's a bit shit.

You can't help someone who won't help themselves.

.....and it's definitely a bit shit thing to do

If you knew it was from Boots why not say that you had been given the same from someone else and you had donated the duplicate item.

you surprise me 😂😂

Exactly. I am gobsmacked at some of the replies, and the poll result.

IT'S A CANDLE! 😂

Exactly. I am gobsmacked at some of the replies, and the poll result.

IT'S A CANDLE! 😂