Daughter 100s of miles away at uni having ‘bad trip’ . Help

[Usernamedulychanged]

Hi . Posting here for traffic but really I just need help. I don’t know what to do. DD rang me an hour ago from her flat at uni 100s of miles away. Said she felt ‘schizophrenic’. Wanted to go to hospital. Admitted she’d taken an edible at a uni party . I don’t know anything really about edibles as they weren’t around when I was at uni. I assume they are cannabis. I spent 20 mins talking her down and telling her all would be fine. Listen to some music. Try to relax. She said she was going to the loo. I said ok call me back as soon as you’re finished. I have called her 20 times she’s not answering. DH reckons she’s fallen asleep and ‘will be fine’. What to do? Can I assume she’s ok? Do I need to call the halls of residence to do a welfare check? I don’t even know her flat number

I'd contact the Student Union and the uni welfare team and make a formal complaint about their processes. That's a disgrace.

Thank you but it’s what anyone would have done. I didn't even think about it til years later when there was another incident and I started thinking about the importance of door gaps. It’s where people go when they feel ill but you can only have them in single sex toilets. After lots of research, they are important for preventing assaults on women and children too. Hence my username.

It's 30 years ago now but I had a few rough months at university and it was the weekends that were the problem. I had a great time for most of the 3 years but I got low at one point, can't really remember why now.
My parents came up a few times, not every weekend though, and they took me out for a day trip in the car - sometimes to the beach, sometimes to the hills. I can still remember those trips now. It made a massive difference - just getting away from the campus for a bit, seeing some beautiful scenery, chatting to my parents and getting fish and chips or something at a cafe.

Wow, this is outrageous. I had to get to hospital (which, luckily for me, was about 8 minutes away in a car but this is unusual for most) because of what turned out to be a kidney stone and wild infection with galloping blood pressure, recently. It was 5 minutes between being fine and rushing about packing a suitcase because I should have been getting a train, to being really in trouble and vomiting constantly. So quick that others in the house didn't have any cause to notice. Even calling 111 to go through checks was super hard due to speaking not being that reliable...

You absolutely must flag up how dangerous this policy could be, especially if students are very likely to be unfamiliar with the hospitals and help options open to them, away from home.

Terrifying. How awful for you. His friends sound like good sorts though . Useful info re the forms

Yes, I agree with this too. It's one thing feeling that people can be trusted and will have your back if you are doing slightly unwise things in student situations, but another if you realise there is nobody who you would feel confident getting help from. I suspect that if you had a frightening experience because someone else had the knowledge of what was in the edibles, it might make you less open to people who were finding it no big deal and good fun. Maybe not a completely bad thing, but it sounds like some support could be useful from the pastoral people.

@Usernamedulychanged you said you didn't know what an "edible" was. My DC's school regularly invited this drugs education charity to give presentations to students (in school) and parents (online) to explain what all these terms mean, because not knowing can obviously be dangerous: https://www.dsmfoundation.org.uk/

The charity was set up by a lovely mum whose son tragically died after trying drugs for the first time.

"more likely known as hash cakes or hash cookies back in the day, much stronger when cooked."

Space cakes/brownies. I don't remember anyone having one though. Those who took it, smoked. First time I saw them was in Amsterdam. Legal there, but very scare potentially.

Thanks for sharing this. It’s incredibly important. That poor boy’s parents. It is actually completely crazy to just take some unregulated substance made by a criminal in a home lab. I am glad I posted about this not just because it was invaluable support last night, but also because it’s been very educative. I didn’t know a lot of the detail people have been posting about here eg fentanyl and spice. I had thought those sorts of things a very distant world, but clearly not. Mumsnet at its best tbh

Totally agree. I taught my ds never to touch drugs. I also spent 3 years at uni in the mid 90s and never touched a single drug. All the pps laughing it off and "bragging" about how they took drugs when younger - t's not funny when someone dies.

I'm glad your daughter is okay, and just want to say that it's wonderful she felt that she could call you x (I had loads of dodgy experiences when drunk or high when I was younger - not once did I ever feel like I could call my mum!)

My son died because the friend he was with didn't know even basic first aid. If he had put him in the recovery position he would be alive today. Reading this kind of thing is really distressing. At least make sure your DC learns first aid before they go away to university. They could save a life.

That was a general "you" to all the posters on this thread making light of the risks.

I'm not so sure it's a good thing tbh to ring a parent hundreds of miles away?

The dc should know who to contact on site. Unis are full of all kinds of drugs and welfare care, what on earth did she think a parent could do hours away.

I'd be really concerned about her trouble shooting skills and do everything to ensure she had contact numbers and plans in place next time she did something worrying.

Do you know any of her friends? Could you text them and ask them to check on her?

I once ate too many hash cookies and got terrified that DP hated me. He thought exactly the same. And we just freaked out quietly next to each other.. then woke up in the morning feeling really stupid but fine.

She will be ok. But you might want to check for your own sanity.

I meant more from a secure relationship perspective. Was it the smartest choice? Maybe not, but that wasn't the lens I was using.

I am so sorry for your terrible loss . You are so right, everyone should know how to do it.

Kemi, is that you?

The "weed" available these days is much, much stronger than the weed we smoked when we were young (I found this out the hard way).